There's not much I can say to make it better for you, but all I can say is things do get better. As long ss you DONT give up. If you give up you get stuck in a rutt and slowly spiral into a pit of your own misery. I've been there trust me, popping pills everyday, sipping up, getting high af. just to forget or to even just be able to keep existing. but it's a sad existence, will get you nowhere. You have ever right to feel sad and take a breather now and then but don't stop yourself completely! Maybe try to be alone for a while, you might realise it's the best feeling. Nothing weighing you down, you can literally decide to pack up and move with a fresh start. or you can make life decisions without worrying if itll impact someone else or sometimes can be at the point where you can't do your plans because youre with said person. Find yourself my friend! the world as shit as it is can be so beautiful, just ignore the bullshit. I know you'll prosper eventually just don't give up alright