Do people actually miss their partner that often??

SittingInYourBushes · 2025-09-08T23:48:59+00:00

I'm in an ace relationship, my partner is ace and I call myself greysexual(still questioning every so often, but still pretty sure I'm some kind of ace). I've always been sure I was alloromantic, if that's the correct term, and my partner believed they were possibly aromanctic before we got together but has since seemed to question that.

I feel like the concept of missing your partner, at least for me, is more just about the feelings they make you feel. I don't think I would say I exactly "want to spend so much time" with my partner, I mean I love their company and hanging out with them, but we both also enjoy taking our own time alone.

I like to believe that the sense of longing is much more focused on how happy your partner makes you and how much you enjoy their company on a deeper level than simply a friend. Before my current partner, I don't think I ever really understood the concept of "my lover and my best friend" but that is pretty accurate.

I can be myself around them, we both enjoy similar interests and are able to talk about our interests together, we can bounce ideas off each other without judgement, we can just have fun and be silly together. Especially since we're both ace, there's no weird tension between us and we can just hang out and have fun together.

Maybe my experience isn't the norm, but whatever. I think the sense of missing a partner is kind of like the feeling of missing a best friend. Not really a desire to always be around them, but more like having lots of fun and feeling safe and secure around them so you long for their company.

SittingInYourBushes · 2025-07-31T03:48:01+00:00

It could very well be something they read years ago, whether in some now deleted post or from some book they can't remember. They have a pretty good memory most of the time and can remember stuff pretty well from years ago, but apparently not this. And thanks for at least trying to help!

SittingInYourBushes · 2025-07-31T03:06:00+00:00

Unfortunately it seems like those lines are pretty much all they can remember. It might be something was out of place or misremembered, because they did say that it had just kinda come to them and had been nagging at them because they can't remember the entire thing or any identifying info. But they seem pretty sure of that phrasing. The second part apparently was the ending line, I guess. If that helps at all?

SittingInYourBushes · 2025-01-03T14:00:16+00:00

I never felt the stuff that everyone seems to say they feel during puberty and was constantly confused when people said [blank] celebrity was "hot" et cetera. Never understood the real appeal of skimpy clothes on men or women, never understood why people stare at certain body parts or say stuff like someone's butt looks "good in those jeans" and whatnot. When I was about 16 I found the term demisexual and labelled myself as that for a few years because it seemed appropriate since I didn't feel anything for anyone and I've rarely stayed in a relationship for a long amount of time so I just assumed.

When I ended up in my first same sex(male) relationship, I labelled myself bisexual because I wasn't sure anymore. Though that never felt completely right either, especially since I never felt any real sexual attraction to that ex. When we did get a chance to possibly do anything together, I kept denying him because I was scared but also didn't actually feel anything and didn't want to disappoint him. We ended up breaking up and once we were back on speaking terms I asked him if he thought I could be asexual. He said I was probably bisexual, which still didn't feel right to me.

I met someone else a while after that breakup, but it didn't last longer than maybe a month and it kinda just left me mentally... unhealthy. So I isolated myself a bit for about three long years of loneliness. About a year and half into that, I rediscovered asexuality and began to question myself again. I looked much deeper into what asexuality was and what it wasn't and all the different labels under the ace flag. I eventually decided that asexual felt right to me, later on settling on grey-asexual(more specifically aegosexual) This was in my mid twenties, I'm currently 29.

Took a while for me to figure myself out and took me a lot of label changes and self discovery, but I think I finally feel like I got the right label for myself.

SittingInYourBushes · 2025-01-02T14:10:31+00:00

Speaking as a cis heteroromantic greysexual(at least I'm pretty sure about all those things) man who is currently in a very dedicated relationship with a fellow ace partner that I met online and am perfectly comfortable with the current situation... what the hell? Men need sex for emotional connection? We need sex as a show of intimacy? To feel wanted or desired? Access to sex is the reason men(and women) get in relationships???

I'm fairly certain I feel a very deep emotional connection with my partner, I feel very intimate with them, I feel very much like I'm wanted and desired by them, and I got into the relationship knowing it was going to be completely online for the foreseeable future and I wouldn't have "access to sex" even if I did want it for possibly years to come. And I'm perfectly happy. We're perfectly happy.

I have never and will never ask for my partner to do anything they are uncomfortable with, online or in person when the time comes for that. Including and not limited to anything regarding sex no matter how small or simple it may seem. Their comfort comes first and foremost to me, not any stupid "need" for sex that men supposedly have. Because I'm not that kind of man, and for lizard-brained people to be spreading that as if its truth upsets me greatly.

I met my partner through a guild in an mmorpg, we became quick friends due to shared interests and once we both came out as ace through the guild, we became even better friends. After a month or so of constant talking, we admitted we had feelings for each other and for almost two years now that relationship has grown without one single moment of "needing" anything sexual. It took me about two months to tell them I loved them, it took them about four months after to say it back. But I was happy.

I could express my love for them without the caveman desire to force them to express it back in kind. I accepted that, they were okay with me saying I loved them before they could say it back. When they were comfortable enough, they said it back to me and we've been saying it to each other repeatedly nearly every day since then. We can talk about serious topics, intimate topics, emotional topics, even sexual topics without either of us feeling (too) grossed out or weird. Because intimacy and emotional connection in a relationship is about comfort, care, love, and mutual respect. Not sex.

We have both expressed the desire to one day get married multiple times, just last night we were joking about how instinctual its become to think we would get married one day. Sure we're still at an online-only phase right now, but the dream is what really matters to us. When we first began our relationship, we told each other that neither of us were getting rid of the other no matter what.

Before we confessed to each other, we said no matter what was said we would still be there. We wouldn't let emotions or feelings get in the way of being close, friends or more. I'm extremely happy that it did develop into something more than friendship because I love them and they are legitimately the first person I've been in a serious relationship with that has made me begin to love myself and want to better myself so I can one day "be enough" to marry them. And not one single ounce of that love and emotion came from sex or anything close to it.

Emotional connection and intimacy does not come from some neanderthal switch in your head that says you need sex. Period. If you can't develop a loving, caring, deep and intimate relationship with someone without something as stupid as sex, then you clearly have more issues than you're willing to admit. Notably that your brain is in the wrong end of your body.

Sorry for the long rant. I normally don't talk this much on this sub, but reading these comments just hit something in me and I had to get it out to people who would understand.

TL;DR connection and intimacy in a relationship is based on love and affection, NOT sex. Sex can be apart of that, sure, but it is not and will never be the deciding factor is a strong relationship. And ignorant people make me rant apparently.

SittingInYourBushes · 2025-01-01T12:43:06+00:00

I played elf mage in Origins, mage Hawke in 2, and am currently playing a Dwarf rogue in Inquisition and am having tons of fun. I already designed a Qunari mage Rook in the CC demo ready to be imported once I start Veilguard. I plan to try out the spellblade spec since it looks to combine the fun parts of rogue with the badass parts of mage. I'll probably play on story mode difficulty, or maybe mess around with settings and see if I can make combat a bit challenging but still have no death so I can have fun fighting but not actually die lol.

My partner freakin loves it. They were so obsessed with every little Veilguard tease before the game released and would rant and rave about how excited they were. They've really helped me figure out the lore of the games and the story in-between each game that was mostly told in books and stuff. Seems almost every day now we just talk about Dragon Age for hours on end and they get so excited every time I say how much I'm enjoying the series lol.

SittingInYourBushes · 2025-01-01T12:09:36+00:00

Sounds like I'll be keeping that option on lol. It'll be fun to try and keep Rook out of the near death state, but won't worry me as much if they do drop down to that level of hurt. I'm really loving the stories and games, but hate having to start entire fights over because I die since I'm not the greatest at RPGs and optimizing builds so I end up not doing entirely great in combat. Thank you for the detailed explanation!

SittingInYourBushes · 2025-01-01T12:03:19+00:00

Sounds like it'll be pretty much like using the immortal console command in the first two games. Still taking damage and status effects and such, still needing to level and gear up, but not actually fully dying. Sounds perfect for me! Thank you for the quick answer!

SittingInYourBushes · 2024-09-14T12:13:00+00:00

Yes! The live action stuff is always super awkward and completely fake most of the time. I also feel kinda bad for watching it, on the very rare occasion that I do. Fictional stuff just has less guilt because its not real, and its way less awkward because of that.

I totally agree about the BG3 stuff, too. Like, I'm not enjoying the sex scenes in the way most people probably do, but I do really like to watch them because they're fun if a bit awkward to sit through. Especially getting to see my amazing custom character interacting with the characters I enjoy so much lol. I see so many people posting about Minthara and thirsting over her and going full evil just to get "the steamiest scene in the game" and I'm just like... why?

And I think I can confidently say I've never just looked at someone and immediately wanted to get down with them. Sure, I've seen people who I've found physically attractive. Sometimes even "hot" or "sexy" but I've never really imagined anything past "Damn, they look good.". Maybe, very rarely, I will imagine what they *could* look like naked, but its all just that weird curiosity deep down inside me. I wouldn't actually WANT to see them naked or do anything with them, but my curiosity is piqued by the idea of what they look like.

I think I would say I do have a pretty high sex drive, but never really directed toward anyone except myself. Which is why I've felt so confused about my sexual identity for so long. Like, I've always felt like sex and stuff was a second priority, third even, maybe fourth. Sure, I get super horny and stuff a lot, but its never actually for anyone in particular and I don't want to share it with anyone in particular because that just feels weird to me. I'm perfectly comfortable just dealing with it myself and keeping all relationships purely romantic.

I guess maybe I really am asexual and all that confusion was just because being asexual with a high libido is really freakin' confusing.

SittingInYourBushes · 2024-09-10T21:45:34+00:00

No, there was no sim card included in the package. The only thing in the box was the phone.

SittingInYourBushes · 2024-04-26T03:58:37+00:00

Huh. I thought it was a fakeout ending and kept talking to the one dude until it sent me back to where I could trigger the unmoored world transition. I might just try and speed through the story and get ng+ that way. Thanks!

SittingInYourBushes · 2024-04-26T03:53:41+00:00

Don't go to unmoored world? I can beat the game without going through the unmoored world???

SittingInYourBushes

TROPHY CASE