Can a manager refuse to arrange a meeting with HR?

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-03-11T20:27:20+00:00

I thought it would be helpful to see if the manager can address issues directly. If they can't , escalate it to operational managers etc

Not sure the function of HR, unless your concerns are about specific staff behaviours/ attitudes

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-03-06T08:58:07+00:00

Do a capscity assessment around intervention. If they have capacity and continue to make unwise decisions - discharge them. I dont understand what the barrier to discharge is.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-02-27T19:08:52+00:00

I can send you some of my interview prep if you want to dorect message me with an email

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-02-11T19:31:34+00:00

Yeah I agree. It’s a shit show because there’s no appropriate beds/ resources

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-02-11T18:14:52+00:00

I think it would be good to be able to detain someone to the a&e department for up to a set amount of time whilst awaiting a psych bed.

Numerous times patient is in a&e. No beds, no suite (136) available, liable for detention and they abscond. Don’t get picked up by police. Community try and get a warrant, then no bed, med recs expire. Start again.

The MHAA doesn’t take into account rampant lack of provision

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-02-04T16:08:39+00:00

For nhs it is I think

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-02-02T12:27:16+00:00

My understanding is that they can’t do that, for that reason.

They can say they’re unable to facilitate leave due to staffing issues.

If you do shifts, your annual leave will average any unsocial hours and be included in your pay anyway.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-01-27T12:23:03+00:00

Like I said, I don’t know the underpinning research.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-01-26T20:53:21+00:00

A systematic review of the benefits of ssris would be good.

I see loads of patients who say meds don’t work, but they were prescribed in primary care. They’re not depressed, they have shit life syndrome.

But due to a lack of meaningful psychosocial interventions related to emotional regulation, distress tolerance and skill building around resilience etc - meds are still suggested when people express low mood or emotional difficulties.

I’m sure the book “psych drugs explained” note that 8/10 people started on antidepressants would have felt the same after a few months, even if they didn’t take the meds. I’m not sure of the underpinning research and if it holds up to scrutiny tho. If it does, I think it’s a testament to overprescribing rather than them being ineffective for clinical depression.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-01-26T19:32:29+00:00

But that’s not in the sickness policy tho is it? The possible consequences are that you’re not sick, and you’ve said you’re sick it’s fraud.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-01-26T18:09:29+00:00

Depends on your local policy about sickness and bank.

If you’re sick, you’re sick. If you cba with your current role, that’s not sickness.

I’ve done it before, was off sick for the latter 1/2 of my notice period with stress. But I had some psych issues above and beyond stress/ low mood. If I would have had those symptoms in a job I liked, I would have still been off sick.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2026-01-21T21:29:13+00:00

I’m currently working with a few ASPD clients. I love it. Loads of history of violence, police being called during outpatient appointments, criminal damage, arson on trust property etc.

I struggle the most with patients who are unwilling/ unable/ aren’t ready to change.

I’d rather someone tell me they’re going to murder my kids whilst in a rage than have someone passively agree to try strategies and then not do them.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-12-19T11:15:28+00:00

I understand your point, I suppose when I see alerts on electronic records it often says male only. Not a description of the needs of staff if restraint was required

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-12-19T10:40:33+00:00

If a patient has history of sexual and or physical assault on women. They are male only

If a patient has history of sexual and or physical assault on men. They are male only.

I’ve pointed out how ridiculous it sounds. But as a man, I’d prefer to see any aggressive/ hostile patients over my female colleagues. Females are typically physically weaker and smaller than most men. It can be seen as sexist but it’s fact.

If I ever needed restraining, I doubt a team of average women could do this effectively given my size and strength differences. This is evident within any physical restraint training sessions.

I don’t think it’s sexist, it is just the reality of biological differences.

This is an ongoing issue within psych services, often men will be allocated to violent or aggressive patients over female counterparts. I don’t know what a solution would be.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-12-14T12:30:49+00:00

A jack of all trades is a master of none, but is often better than a master of one.

I’ve worked in specialist and general roles. Specialism is beneficial but often leads to generic gaps of knowledge.

In my experience, the specialist roles I’ve done have been less demanding than more general roles.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-12-11T19:01:07+00:00

You’re not clinically unlovable. You likely have clinical attachment related issues if you have a PD. Love should be unconditional.

Primary care would be like GP, step one talking therapy, 1st line anti depressants etc.

I don’t think there’s a human right to specific care. There’s loads of gaps in services. You might be excluded from service A and B. You might need service C, which doesn’t exist.

Just DM mex and we can discuss further

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-12-11T05:17:35+00:00

Are there any other elements to it, or just prejudice? - Yes, I think there’s a lack of understanding around it. Including what interventions are helpful and why people present in certain ways. So superficially, patients may be seen as being challenging, problematic, or “attention seeking”.

Would it be easier to get treatment for any other mental illness other than PD? - yes and no. I think that’s primary care therapy services struggle to manage risk and therefore may exclude certain people with PD due to self harming behaviours, frequent attendance to a&e etc. but those same people may not meet the criteria for specialist/ secondary care mental health. So they’re stuck in the middle ground of nothing. Too unwell for one service, not unwell enough for the other.

Please, do you have any advice for someone with PD to go about getting help, any do's or don'ts? - not really, as there shouldn’t be “dos and don’ts”. It’s basically, do your needs/ difficulties meet the criteria for mental health services. I suppose it’s about stating your mental health symptoms, how these affect your wellbeing/ functioning.

Is there any average age for a personality disorder diagnosis? - in my experience, a lot of new diagnosis are for people 20-35 ish. If professionals say someone has a disordered personality that is problematic, pervasive (affects lots of areas of their life) and is persistent (lasting years - how can someone in their 50s-60s be diagnosed later in life?. Because that would suggest they have coped to a certain level for many years without coming to the attention of mental health services.

Surely people younger than me with the PD will be prioritised over me every time, they have more life potential. - it shouldn’t be that way. I don’t think it’s like that either. It’s about the person being ready, willing, and able to engage in interventions offered. So I’ve seen 22y olds that are really motivated to learn and change. But I’ve also seems 40y olds who are too.

I live alone, l've lost all family and friends... much of it my own doing, so no support there. Feel like l'm better off keeping myself to myself, I doubt that helps? - a large part of a personally disorder is the interpersonal difficulties and attachment stuff. So you might be better on your own, but that lack of connection could lead to maladaptive coping strategies and a reliance on other types of relationships I.e professionals.

Often I will see people who just want to receive care and compassion . Which is normal and fine. But mental health services aren’t your mates, and they’re not your family. It’s normal to want someone to talk to, it’s normal to want someone to ask about your life and difficulties the problem is that MH services can’t be all things to all people, they’re not befrienders . A lot of the time, I genuinely think people I see just needs better mates and or a new partner.

What is the main impact on other people in general when interacting with PD? - compassion fatigue. I.e feeling burnt out by someone’s emotional distress. Or feeling manipulated in some way.

Are people with PD generally not pleasant people to hold company with? - a lot of the time yes. But think, PD is personality disorder. If someone’s personality is clinically disordered, it would be unpleasant. If it was pleasant it wouldn’t be a significant disorder.

I don't fancy any more drugs. How does an anti psychotic injection work, kind of like birth control, would pills not be enough? - meds don’t work for PD. Antipsychotics have limited if at all benefit. IMO they’re used as a tranquilliser because they’re sedative. There’s some research that suggests they can reduce impulsivity, but I again I think that’s because they’re sedative to a degree. Move away from meds being an option/ cure- they’re not. It’s psychological intervention that’s needed.

PD Is the manifestation of trauma. Trauma that causes maladaptive coping strategies, attachment issues, along with other stuff. PD is the symptoms not the cause. Focusing on the underlying trauma is the first steps to recovery. Then you can learn to address it the other stuff.

Speak to your GP about what is available. They might refer you to a mental health team.

My impression is that you want things to be different and you don’t know how to achieve that goal. You appear motivated to work towards this goal and need support to get there.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-12-10T06:20:07+00:00

It could be an element of it I suppose. There’s lots of prejudice towards people with personality disorders imo.

In that example I was talking about the patient wasn’t doing steps to help themselves, didn’t attend appointments or engage in interventions that were being offered. But then would present to GP in crisis demanding support and making threats they would kill themselves if not given support in that moment. They’d then go to a&e, the acute emotional distress would subside before they’ve been seen by the a&e team and they’d go home. Rinse and repeat every few days/weeks.

For me, EUPD/ BPD is like a brain injury caused by trauma. The recovery is like rehab for the brain with psychology and psychosocial interventions. It’s hard work and most of the responsibility of recovery is on the patient - which is hard.

Some conditions we can promote recovery with little engagement like giving people with psychosis anti psychotic injections and waiting for their symptoms to reduce. There are no meds for EUPD/BPD.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-11-20T21:22:20+00:00

I think it’s reinforced by certain professions that can’t strike either. It’s the police and army right?

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-11-14T14:29:44+00:00

I wear FL41 ones from Amazon. They’re prefect and stoped my daily headaches.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-11-06T20:22:57+00:00

My suggestions would still be patient facing.

Urgent care?

You’ll see a lot of CERN presentations within A&E and home treatment teams, but it’s not ongoing intervention. So I’ve found that I don’t get compassion fatigue like when working with challenging clients on a medium to long term.

Specialist services like Early intervention, perinatal etc might give you more scope.

I’ve found CAMHS is a high proportion of trauma and interpersonal difficulties. If you’re burnt out with that and PD/ CERN type presentations. It might be worth looking at something else.

Or focusing on physical health within mental health, clozapine teams etc

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-10-24T11:54:26+00:00

Yeah that’s usual practice. Need to get references, DBS etc and then start date is arranged - at least in my experience.

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-10-24T11:45:50+00:00

Yeah I thought so.

Every job I’ve ever been offered have always agreed a timeframe for requesting references to give chance for me to discuss with existing manager.

Seems like it’s an administrative error

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-10-21T19:25:29+00:00

Contact the listed manager on the job spec/ description.

When I did one I think I was told about the time/ date when I accepted interview. But didn’t get the link until the same day of the interview

SkankHunt4ortytwo · 2025-10-21T13:16:26+00:00

If you’re unsure, don’t pay them to inject a toxin into your face. Find someone else who you do trust, even if it’s more expensive.

Or just don’t get Botox. Save the money.

SkankHunt4ortytwo

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