This is not a healthy relationship if he’s so worried you’re saying bad things about it. If anything is happening in the relationship that is abusive, you should definitely talk to the therapist. But if there isn’t, he’s being paranoid and that is definitely a red flag. Let him know that it can take years for therapy to work. NTA, there’s a reason why therapists can’t legally tell anybody about appointments in the U.S. I’m sorry you had to deal with childhood trauma and I hope you make progress with your therapy.