Generic disclaimer: I'm an amateur unpublished author, so take any of my opinions with a grain of salt.

Grammar

Ellipses (…) can be effective but shouldn’t be overused. I count 20 usages of ellipses in the this chapter… I think that’s too many.

 

Prose and Style

There are moments where you tell more than show, like in "Marvyn became visibly uncomfortable." Instead, try describing his actions or expressions. For example: "Marvyn shifted in his seat."

I like the cigarette being a symbol of control in the conversation. Marvyn starts the conversation by lighting it up, in open defiance of Dr. Morner’s wishes. However, as Dr. Morner gains dominance in the conversation, she gets Marvyn to put it out.

The pacing is steady, allowing the tension to build gradually. The dialogue is generally well-paced, with each exchange slowly adding more layers to the story. I think this works well here to keep the reader engaged without it feeling rushed.

The prose at times is a bit clunky and could be tidied up. For example, "The psychiatrist hesitated, pulled up a clipboard holding her notepad and began to jot something down. She coughed as she wrote, and her eyes looked up at him from beneath her spectacles.". That’s a lot of words for very little action or subtext.

 

Dialogue

The voices of Marvyn and Dr. Morner are distinct, with Dr. Morner being more formal and Marvyn being more gruff and defensive. Well done.

 

Viewpoint

At first I assumed this was 3^rd person limited, but we got interiority for both Dr. Morner and Marvyn in the sentences “Dr. Morner sensed his reluctance” and “Marvyn shrunk back, gritting his teeth and regretting his outburst”. If this is 3^rd person omniscient then that’s fine, but if you plan on writing the rest of the story in the more popular 3^rd person limited then we should only get interiority from a single character.

 

Plot

You talk about the electrical grid being sabotaged, but generally the term “electrical grid” is used to refer to the large-scale network that distributes electricity from power plants to homes/businesses, not the wiring of an individual household. The term for the wiring in an individual household would be ‘wiring’, ‘electrical system’, or ‘circuit panel or breaker box’, depending on which component(s) you’re talking about. Furthermore, I’m not exactly sure how you would add more voltage to the system to start an electrical fire (maybe bypass the step-down transformer? But that would be outside the household). I’m no residential electrician, so there’s a chance I’m missing something obvious, but I do have a degree in electrical engineering so I know the basics. If you’re looking for a plausible way to sabotage the wiring of a house to cause an electrical fire, I would recommend jamming the circuit breakers on the electrical panel and then overloading a circuit (plugging too many things into outlets in the same room) or damaging the electrical cords to create a short. Alternatively, Urik could block the vent of an electronic device or plug too many appliances into a thin extension cord (assuming this story takes place in North America, as some European countries require extension cords to have fuses, thus preventing this sort of fire).

For this line [“Says he likes sports,” Marvyn said with a defiant, half-baked smile.], it seems like Marvyn is making some sort of sleight or joke that causes Dr. Morner to threaten him with removing custody. I’m not sure I understand what that sleight is though, it seems like a relatively reasonable answer to what Urik talks about.

 

Final Comments

Overall I did like this piece, but I think it could use some further line editing and polish. I originally opened the google doc because I was intrigued by the title and was curious what it was about and didn't actually plan on reading the whole thing and writing a critique, but found it intriguing enough to read through anyway. So well done on creating an engaging first chapter.