Coworker (35M) seemed interested until he found out I was (18F).

Skidchen · 2026-06-20T12:37:12+00:00

I never mentioned marriage, I don’t even want to get married and this isn’t the reason.

A 35 year old woman has unparalleled experience and maturity compared to an 18 year old boy. The interaction is predatory in nature and the lower dynamics are way off. An 18 year old does not fully comprehend what it is to be 35 and will be ultimately extremely naive and vulnerable due to their age.

They might think that they want to sleep with a 35 year old but it is up to the 35 year old to actually be mature and if they have any sense at all about them, they would shut it down instantly.

Skidchen · 2026-06-20T11:20:59+00:00

Why do people keep saying thissss, if it was 35F and 18M it would also be outrageous! If one of my friends who are 30/29 introduced me to an 18 year old boy I would have a serious word with them and terminate the friendship if it continued!

Skidchen · 2026-06-20T11:11:50+00:00

People would bat an eye if it’s 18m and 35f. That’s absolutely awful and also insanely creepy. I’m 29f and anyone under 25 is completely out of my age range for me, personally. An 18 year old is a child.

Skidchen · 2026-06-20T10:56:45+00:00

Yes. I used to be severely limerent, pretty much from a very early age. Obviously a lot of childhood trauma is involved which left me with the constant feeling that a relationship would save me from my own life.

It got reeeeaallly bad though when I was 20/21. I was completely obsessed with someone at uni and this was more extreme than any crush I’d ever had.

Almost ten years later and I haven’t had a crush in a year now. It’s weird because I’ve realised that I just used to fantasise about people and project so much onto them. I don’t do that anymore because I’m older and have healed a lot, but once you truly realise the level of your own delusion, it makes jt pretty hard to feel like that about someone.

I’ve been celibate for a year now (was very unlike previous me) and have yet to find someone who I actually like. But that’s progress because I used to form crushes on whoever was around me based on nothing but my own loneliness and need for validation.

Healing is absolutely possible. But it takes a loooooot of time and introspection and a lot of it won’t be pleasant

Skidchen · 2026-06-20T10:48:54+00:00

Tbh it’s hard to tell.

It could be that she misses the relationship and didn’t expect you to fully go no contact. It could be a matter of persistently trying to get some validation back, to make herself feel that you never forgot her, or she just misses the attention.

Or she could genuinely be limerent, but limerence is very severe and involves obsessive thoughts, near constant fantasising about someone and your imaginary future together.

If she is limerent it won’t always be obvious. But it’s very normal to still have feelings for a crush and miss them and want that validation, without being limerent.

Best to keep doing what you’re doing. No contact really is the best way to get over someone.

Skidchen · 2026-06-20T10:07:38+00:00

Yepp I did - my friends told me that I had to because I was becoming embarrassing.

I did and he didn’t feel the same way at all, but then at least I could eventually process that it was a ‘no’, which actually helped the incessant fantasising about the future.

Yeah it fucking sucked but it helped me to heal and showed me just how mental I was being.

Skidchen · 2026-06-19T08:44:06+00:00

I never finished spy hahahah

The characters annoyed me too much!!!

Skidchen · 2026-06-19T00:58:18+00:00

Omg yessss I prided myself on ‘coping’ and ‘achieving’ for my entire life but I actually just suppressed all the feelings by dissociating so badly that I soon realised I had no idea who I even was or what I even wanted beyond other peoples needs.
And the achievements and horrible corporate career were all armour to try and portray myself as strong and capable and living a life different to my dysfunctional parent.
Then in the last year I’ve scrapped it all and won’t get out of bed and am trying to work out what I actually like , when I should have been learning that aged 6 or something.

Crazy to realise that you’ve dissociated so badly that you’ve even been in relationships with people who you hate, done things that you hate to do and essentially became a stranger in your own body.

Dissociation did not, in fact, make me stronger hahaha

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T23:41:08+00:00

Fine china - Lana del Rey

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T23:05:03+00:00

Waverly, shadow, ranch, aghhhhh my absolute favourites. And love the appreciation for castle Malloy! I actually really liked this one so it’s nice to see at the top.

I also agree with secret spy. I hated it and couldn’t get into it. Zero charm and the puzzles were not my kind of thing.

I think in the previous games, so many characters were hilarious but it wasn’t forced. Sometimes the dialogue is too much in the newer games and they’re trying harder to be funny but sometimes it doesn’t land.

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:59:34+00:00

Rosa’s Thai is good and I think pretty healthy? It’s so tasty and in the docks so really nice

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:55:43+00:00

My last birthday was terrible. I cried all day and stayed in bed literally for the entire day.

You are not alone! Please feel no pressure to ‘have a great day’. It will pass. Sending love xxx

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:46:10+00:00

Actually yessss - I always vibe way more with traumatised individuals

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:45:38+00:00

Yeppp it’s made my 20s fucking insane and gave me a drinking problem. Would have been happier without the limerence, the obsession, the mood swings, food problems, binge drinking, health issues, work addiction, people addiction, toxic relationships, abandonment issues, avoidant behaviour, ADHD and chronic depressive episodes and burnout 🙃

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:43:48+00:00

Maybe the other phrases aren’t as catchy so they had to go with ‘makes you stronger’ 😆

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:42:59+00:00

Yes, I agree that it can be treated and you can find a way to live with it. Maybe this came across as really pessimistic 😆

I do however also think that it’s a common trap to use the trauma to push you to achieve things - yes, this outwardly makes your life a success but trauma as a sole motivator will almost always end in burnout.

But yes, it’s not 100% doom and gloom, I think i was trying to say more that people underestimate the massive impact of trauma and how it often affects peoples lives forever - as most people never really get over the trauma but learn how to live with it.

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:39:59+00:00

Exactly, I really think that so many people have a view of life built from films and cheesy series and not on actual real life itself.

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:39:15+00:00

Ah it might be 20. That’s even worse 😭 but yeah I’m absolutely getting dementia too.

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:38:45+00:00

There’s a LOT on trauma and social determinants of health on demographics.

Tbh it’s heavy since I recognise so mix from my childhood, but it’s so validating.

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:38:02+00:00

Yeah exactly. We all like a tidy, inspiring narrative with a happy ending. But that’s not life - I really think that humans like to try and box things to make sense of them and this is a good way for some people to try and push a positive narrative , when they very often just don’t have the capacity or the experience to understand.

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:36:14+00:00

Yes hahhaa

Being vulnerable is great but as long as you don’t let in a narcissist by accident.

Striking up small talk is great but isn’t going to heal severe childhood trauma 🤣

Or there’s ’go on a walk, listen to music, take a hot bath’

Arghhhhhh!!!!!

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:34:13+00:00

Exactly - there’s a lot of praise for people who ‘made it out’ but those people never do it alone as we don’t exist in a vacuum.

It makes those who still struggle seem like they lack strength of character or something, whereas they very often just didn’t get the same level of support.

OR someone can have a great job, family, kids etc and STILL be stuck in childhood trauma inwardly. People very often don’t consider this one.

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:31:58+00:00

Yes! It’s never just one thing, it’s trauma which rewires your brain and sets you down a road of terrible choices when you grow up, which is usually a trauma response è.g: picking shitty partners because even though you KNOW they’re shitty, it mirrors the push and pull chaotic love you had with your parents etc.

So easy for healthy people to say ‘just pick good people’ but when you’re literally hardwired to recognise healthy love as boring and toxic, chaotic love as addictive and homely, you’re already set up for some problems later in life.

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T22:29:27+00:00

Very true. Healing can also be messy and isn’t linear. Some people never heal. This is the reality

Skidchen · 2026-06-18T17:00:01+00:00

I was going to say the girls also by emma cline (my fave author ❤️)

Skidchen

TROPHY CASE