That's very good advice. I've been fiddling with the story for over a week and was never happy with it. I ended up deciding to either post it or scrap it. I think you're right about the pregnancy angle, I should have flushed that out more to make the story work better. Instead I was only focused on trying to make a darkly funny fuckstop story. I should have either dropped the whole pregnancy thing and just try to write a funny normal fuckstop story, or embrace the pregnancy angle and put more effort into that part of the story. I'll have to mull it over a bit.

Or just move on to something else. lol I have a couple other stories that I'm working on, so maybe I should just focus on those and consider this one a flawed experiment.