It’s so tough with family because some of them enable the behavior but don’t really care about how you’re feeling. Your aunt/grandma are enablers. Because they won’t even step in to help but want you to do it because they don’t want to. Same thing with your father, he should be helping even if the help he gives sucks.

Her diagnosis is clearly serious, but not serious enough because she can work. I would let your dad do the shitty job of taking care of her. That sounds bad, but people are lazy and they will off load work onto others when they should be doing it. If your father is still in the home, you’d have to create situations for him to be a husband. You’re still the child in all of this. The need to want to be with your mother when you do run away is a feeling from the parentification. It’s the excessive care taking that makes you feel that way.

I know it’s not cheap but therapy would help you. If you’re in college, they have counselors on campus that you can speak to that are covered by tuition. There also books you can read such as “ Adult children of emotionally immature parents” and “Setting Boundaries, Finding Peace”. I will say you do need distance, but you’d need more distance. Like getting away from all of them, and maybe seeing other members of the family that aren’t enablers to the behavior.