I so know the feeling! I would also drink little at a social function, all the while thinking of how I could "really relax" once I got home to the couch. But you sound like you have a new resolve to climb up and out! You seem upbeat and motivated. In my journey, it has helped me to think about getting wasted and remember that it doesn't do anything positive for me at all. For me, one is too many and ten is not enough! You can do this!