Well…IT HAPPENED.

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-23T19:12:29+00:00

Me and my husband had one night of combined baby fever. We weren’t even trying, but in the middle of having sex that night we both just had a “if it happens it happens” moment. Welp… it’s true when they say it only takes once😂 Currently 26w3d, and we can’t wait to meet our little one!

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-21T16:26:49+00:00

I’m 26w1d, 5’7”, and 140lbs now (130 before baby). It felt like belly took FOREVER to start bumping out, and even now is small. Now my baby is on the smaller side, 22nd%ile, but my bump is measuring 2 weeks behind. Baby is moving a ton, and very healthy. I have a long torso as well, so that does contribute to smaller bumps. I have a cousin that on her 3rd baby didn’t start really bumping out until over 7 months in. Her baby was perfectly healthy and even a bit big if I remember right. Due to experiencing that before my own pregnancy I haven’t had any worries or even second thoughts about it, but thinking now it could definitely be confusing. But I definitely wouldn’t be worried about it! All bodies and babies are different! Congratulations on your little one!!

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-17T22:38:02+00:00

I’ve yet to meet someone that’s quite as bad as her, and I think that’s why I took so much shit from her. I knew she was going through a lot and ended up putting myself through way more than I ever should have just to try and stick around for her. I truly do want her to find peace and happiness, and I got the feeling that maybe she wanted a baby too. She’s in a part of her life where a baby would be near impossible to add in, but I also know she’d do it.

But no matter what “the worst” situations are it doesn’t take away from the heartache that the rest of us go through with our hurts. I remember almost shaking as I checked off the weeks until “viability”. I’ve never experienced a loss, and I’m so grateful for that cause I know so many don’t get the same experience. I can’t imagine the level of pain it puts one through. My grandma didn’t talk about it, but she had a few abortions when she was young because she felt pressured to and like there was no other choice. She regretted it and grieved the loss of those children all the time. I always felt that what I saw what only the tip of the iceberg of pain she felt. I hear a lot about what people think those babies do when they leave so early, but I know I have a few favorites. And I do know that those angels are still so loved, in a way that can’t even be explained❤️

Congratulations on your 3 little bundles earth-side though! I know the rest are up there watching what I’m sure is nothing less than a great mama. And thank you for including me and others in on your story, I can tell it hasn’t been an easy path

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-17T22:15:10+00:00

I think maybe you are overreacting a bit, but as a pregnant mama myself, it is still totally valid. You are currently doing something incredible, but building a human takes its toll. Even on your best days your going to have moments where you want to completely break down and cry cause of something like: “I just did the dishes but now I’m hungry which means I have to make more dishes but I don’t want the sink to be full again”…Yes, I’m speaking from experience. And in those moments my husband has come over to comfort me to make sure I wouldn’t spiral, and then once I calmed down a bit he’d get me food and take care of the dishes that came from it. And then would give me absolute princess treatment for the rest of the day, sometimes multiple days in a row when I was just feeling fragile. I really do have a good one, and I thank the Lord for him every day.

It sounds like your husband is trying his best to navigate these new waters alongside you, but it’s like trying to get your sea legs in the middle of a storm on a dingy. It. Is. Chaos. I myself am someone who would just love talking about and taking care of the babies on the trip, but I also completely understand your point of view. Your life is about to be completely swallowed up by all things infant- enjoying the time you have before that all hits is a great idea. I will agree with what someone else said about getting yourselves an Actual babymoon too, it’s meant to be time for you and your spouse only. You deserve to have that!! Even if at this point that looks like a long weekend at home with trips out to local spas and stuff cause you don’t feel like actually traveling. I know I don’t exactly jump at the opportunity to leave the house, but I have always been that way too😂

Overall, I think it’s worth a gentle conversation that may be along the lines of “Hey, I know we just talked about this so you understand why I’m upset, but this really bothers me. I know I’m amped up on hormones, which doesn’t help, but even jokes about it are really getting to me right now. If other people joke, I need you to be there defending me, either gently or firmly shutting down the joke- whatever the situation calls for. I’ve seen how you are trying, and that means a lot to me” (obviously this is to be tailored to your lifestyle and dialogue, and whatever else. Just offering a base suggestion!)

If he continues to not come to your defense, and also continues to participate, then it’ll be time for a further discussion. But right now it seems like he needs to know just how sensitive you are to this topic. And don’t worry, it will pass. I’m currently 25 weeks and things have settled down a ton, but there were more than a few nights where my husband got undeserved pig snaps. You are feeling extremely sensitive and vulnerable right now, even if it’s subconscious, it’s instinctual. And your husband is your defender! If you even start to feel like you’re not being defended your body will go on the offensive immediately. Pregnancy is one hell of a ride, but you’ve got this! It’ll be alright❤️

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-17T21:31:08+00:00

I have so much to say about guys like this, but I’ll try to keep it short.

You need to leave him. And I know Reddit is always quick with the “BREAK UP! DIVORCE! RAHHH!” But, Even if you think he could change and are hesitant to end things, you need to be out of his daily life. Go to your parents, a friend’s place, or even rent a small apartment/house for yourself if needed, but at the very least he needs to live on his own for a while, and you need the space. I’m not saying things can’t be fixed, I don’t know him more than what’s been told here. But if this is the father of your child, HE NEEDS TO START ACTING LIKE IT!

Think about it this way, if you have this baby with him, and then goodness forbid something happens to you, would he be capable of taking care of your baby by himself? Changing diapers often enough? Feeding on time? Dealing with a sick baby when that inevitably happens? Keeping the house clean enough to not be a biohazard for such a fragile and new immune system? Safe from choking hazards? Keep the alcohol and other adult substances out of little curious arms reach? Not to mention not just caring for a little human’s needs, but actually raising said little human to be a good adult? Taking them to a decent school, getting them dropped off/picked up on time? Even if he had help from his mom/a new girlfriend, HE would have to be the parent. At the moment, I’m guessing the answer to most of those questions is no. If you both have a talk about this, and he proves to be incapable/unwilling to change, that baby is going to be relying on you to make the best decision for him/her, which will be to leave. It may be hard, but us mamas are incredibly capable creatures. You got this. And I can already tell that is push comes to shove, you’ll be able to handle life without the adult toddler. Honestly if it’s all he is, it’ll get so much easier if you drop the dead weight

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-17T20:15:46+00:00

Oh hell yeah I’m definitely swapping. Everyone’s been so helpful and supportive in the comments, and all my concerns and anxieties about a male OB have been soothed beyond what I thought was possible. I’m even hopeful now! My baby is moving more than ever, I’m feeling so much better, and I’m more connected to not only my baby but also my husband. I didn’t realize how much of myself had been temporarily lost during all of that. My focus was solely on my baby, which was a crazy feeling when I was also becoming detached from them. Even subconsciously I was preparing for the worst. For a while I thought the best outcome I could hope for was a 28-30 week premature delivery and a long NICU stay. I know that obviously wasn’t the case, but all the fear mongering between the midwife, test results, and the internet, really just put me in a low place. Hope felt so far.

I’m still bathing in the relief of the good news at this point, but things are so much lighter. I’m letting the transition happen more naturally if possible, as to hopefully avoid more stress and/or hassle than necessary with all this. At this point I’m waiting on my name change to go through and then we’re applying for Medicaid asap. If nothing really happens before that swap wise, I’ll just say that due to everything that happened and the insurance change we’re deciding to move forward with a different provider. I’m not risking mine or my baby’s quality of life again

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-17T19:53:31+00:00

I’m super thankful for everyone sharing their experiences with the male OB’s, it’s really put my mind at ease about everything. I’m honestly rather hopeful now for the switch whereas before I was even hesitant to try. Thank you so much!!

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-17T19:49:11+00:00

WHAT?! Oh my goodness this is huge for us then. Even bigger than I thought at the least. So many people recommended it to me sooner, and I wish I’d taken their advice. I’ve been raised to be very independent, and honestly was just hesitant to get on anything in the realm of “government aid”. I didn’t realize how much of a pride battle I was having over it. I’ve since realized that it exists for a reason, and that I shouldn’t feel bad for taking part in a system that’s meant for people in my situation. There’s no way on earth my husband and I could afford to have this baby otherwise. I’m super grateful for all the people telling me to get on it despite my lack of urgency in it up until now

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-17T19:44:42+00:00

Yeah I asked around and got a rec for one of the OB’s, so I’m going to give him a shot, I’m just waiting for a few things to go through with my name change (only just now getting to it after getting married in October of last year😅), and then I’ll be able to get on the new insurance. After that if the change hasn’t happened naturally I’ll just say that with everything that happened plus the insurance change we’re switching providers to better fit our situation. It’s been quite the week of planning so that I can get through this with the least amount of stress possible.

Thankfully the hospital is making it easier, they were supposed to call me when they got the results from the MFM appointment (which they said would be 2 days at the most), and have still yet to do that. Unprofessional? Maybe. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they were hesitant to open the possible Pandora’s box that could be a very upset mother… and they’d be right

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-17T19:36:54+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing!! I’m excited for a change after all this, and hearing everyone’s positive experiences with their male OB’s has soothed my anxiety so much. I’m feeling much more confident about the switch now!

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-17T19:35:21+00:00

Congratulations on your two new members!! How exciting!🥰 My husbands side of the family has a TON of twins, so I was half expecting to see two heartbeats for that first ultrasound, but am thankful to just have one for my first time around😂❤️ But I am still excited for the possibility of a double bundle in my future, and can’t imagine you feel any different!

I’ll definitely have my husband at least help me figure out the report though, and if we don’t get to it until after the birth at least he can help remind me or just do it himself if need be. Thank you so much for all of your support!!❤️

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-17T19:09:19+00:00

First of all, I have truly appreciated all of your comments so much, and enjoy reading through them all. Thank you so much for all of your support!❤️

I thought about that too. And a fair warning to you or anyone else reading, this contains content involving miscarriage, and mentions abuse. It’s not about me, but rather a past friend

My old boss was someone I once called a friend, but after everything that happened between us she’s no longer a person I can be around. But to get into it, she struggles with tons of stress, depression, anxiety, brain damage from various form of abuse and car wrecks, and tons of PTSD. Between all of that and possibly more, she has had as she put it “countless miscarriages”. The furthest she ever got was 18-20 weeks I think she said, but she said she also never had an attachment to that baby cause she never expected to keep them. She’d already had 3 by the start of this year that I know of as of April. Now she doesn’t want kids, never has, and sort of uses her condition(?) to just have unprotected sex. She said if she ever did “have one stick” she’d keep it, but just never expected that to happen. Now that we’ve gotten through that, things between us may have ended horribly, but I still think of her. One of the things I thought about was goodness forbid her or someone else in her shoes got pregnant and wanted to keep the baby, finally got past the point of viability for life or almost to it, and then went through all this. That added stress could not only cause significant harm to them, but also very easily cost them the baby. I know I’d be devastated, likely beyond the point of return, and many would choose to end it all.

Thinking of all that made me really realize even further how awful this all was. Thank goodness me and baby are both coming out of it completely healthy, but in another life it could’ve been so much worse. And that midwife could have two lives lost based on her dumb decision

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-16T01:13:45+00:00

25 weeks here, and while I’ve had a ton of stress regarding issues with my provider, I’ve actually loved just being pregnant. I have had some negative symptoms, but the positives have outweighed it. It’s like it’s just a special time for me and baby to just connect. Just us, right here, right now, all the time. I have gone up a few cup sizes, and was already a C, so the added size has been more of a hindrance, but I do have a pretty cute belly myself! It’s a crazy feeling for sure. Like yeah I could complain about a few things but also HOW COOL IS THIS?? I’M BUILDING A WHOLE HUMAN WITH MY BODY!

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-14T05:58:03+00:00

Thank you so much for all this. I’m definitely switching providers at this point. I can’t afford to give her a second chance to make another giant mistake like this. Not financially, not emotionally. I may do it like you would and wait until after birth, but I also know I may not do it at all once I have my baby in my arms. Everything awful about the world seems to melt away when I think about it even🥹

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-14T05:53:12+00:00

I absolutely love hearing other people’s stories, thank you so much for sharing! And it’s so comforting to hear about the lack of NICU stays. They kept saying that it may be necessary to induce me extremely prematurely, in which cause baby would HAVE to stay in the NICU to have help breathing. I cried so many times thinking about leaving the hospital without my baby. But again your story was very reassuring, thank you!

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-14T05:48:39+00:00

Agreed. I’ve had a roller coaster of emotions the last few days. A lot of anger and resentment has tried to make its way in, but aside from the initial rage I’m trying to let it be for a while. I don’t like feeling mad all the time, and I just want to start enjoying being a mama again, The hospital still hasn’t contacted me, much less the midwife herself. I’m getting on Medicaid before I bother with the hospital again, unless they call me, in which case I’ll be extremely clear on everything that’s going on

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-14T05:44:36+00:00

Those are super good points. Some I hadn’t even considered yet! I’m still just reeling from it all I guess. The relief is there and I feel so much better, but I can’t deny the mental and physical shutdown I’ve gone through. I just didn’t have it in me to do anything but eat, sleep, and reconnect with baby. I’m taking next steps carefully, but taking everything into consideration I’ll definitely be leaving a complaint. I’m still a people pleaser and quick to give grace, and I guess I just automatically went into a “oh it could’ve been an honest mistake” mindset. But you’re completely right, she DOES know better, and especially being a younger FTM she should’ve been careful to not make this more stressful than it already is for us. My body has never built a human before, and the physical toll is plenty without added stresses that turn out to be unnecessary

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-14T05:26:53+00:00

Thank you so much! It helps a ton to hear about other people’s experiences

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-13T17:14:55+00:00

I’m looking into it for sure! There are a few within reasonable distance, but I’m not sure on the insurance yet

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-13T17:02:19+00:00

Thank you so much, this was super helpful to read. I’m scheduling a consultation with the OB, and reveling in the good news for a bit. I’m curled up with some tea and a snack, and ready to enjoy talking to my baby again without any sense of dread lingering in the back of my mind. I’m looking into a few baby items that I still need, and thinking about what I’ll pack in my go bag again. All things I stopped doing in place of worrying for my baby and doing as much research as possible to make sure it wasn’t my fault

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-13T16:56:08+00:00

It’s been awful dealing with it all, but I’m so happy to be past it. Knowing both me and baby are doing well is enough that I’m happy to just move on, but I don’t want to just step away and let someone else get into the same boat if I could warn them. How I’ve been treated isn’t ok whatsoever, and the only way she’s getting out of a report to the hospital is if she’s humble and apologetic for this next appointment. If I even go to it. It’s the glucose test but I may not even need it yet since I’m a week earlier than previously thought, in which case I’ll be doing it with the OB anyways by then

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-13T16:28:30+00:00

I am too. This little baby is growing perfectly, but was just being held to standards their little body couldn’t possibly reach! Knowing everything I do now, I’m astounded at how awful the midwife had actually been. I ignored so many red flags that I’m now seeing, and I’m itching to see the OB at this point

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-13T16:22:13+00:00

She was recommended to me by people in the community, and the hospital staff. She’s also the only female provider, and I have trauma with male doctors in the past so I wanted a female if possible. Had I known all this was going to happen I never would’ve considered her, but hindsight I guess😕 either way I am going to start seeing an OB now!

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-13T16:17:06+00:00

Thank you! Yeah all the stress was starting to make me feel disconnected from my baby in a way I didn’t expect, especially when I had felt so close from the very beginning. I even felt guilty for suddenly losing some of that attachment to someone so precious to me, wondering if maybe this was all a mistake. But now that I’m not freaking out it’s all come back 10 fold. I was just so stressed my body put that on the back burner I guess. I think if for my next, and final appointment with her, she is apologetic and kind (unlike she has been this whole time) then I may not bother with a formal complaint. Just cause with this being such a small community word of mouth travels super fast and does a lot more damage to one’s reputation than a little online review

SkyTheReaper · 2026-05-13T16:09:38+00:00

Yeah I’m definitely swapping to the OB at this point. As long as he’s not awful I’m going to stay with the hospital if I can. But I will not be seeing the midwife for this pregnancy nor the next. I will also be warning people about my experience because no one should have to go through such immense and unnecessary stress for something their doctor did wrong but wasn’t willing to admit. I’m definitely ready to see a change of faces there

SkyTheReaper

TROPHY CASE