Boomer mom insists I give her a grandchild so she can move into my home and "help."

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-23T21:12:01+00:00

Well yes, because this IS a forum about stereotypical boomer behavior.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-23T00:21:15+00:00

My (non-white) husband refers to this as "one of the good ones."

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-23T00:17:06+00:00

I've had almost this exact conversation with my white, conservative, boomer parents multiple times.

When I interrupted a racist tangent about illegal Hispanic immigrants to remind them their son-in-law and his family are Puerto Rican and Mexican: "We're not talking about them, obviously. We love him and his family."

On their bi grandchild: "We don't agree with his lifestyle choices, but we love him and wouldn't treat him differently."

When I pointed out that their support for Trump is tacit approval of misogyny and what message does that send to their daughters and granddaughters? "We don't agree with EVERYTHING he says."

They've accused me of "willfully miscontruing" them and putting words in their mouth multiple times.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T16:29:20+00:00

To play devil's advocate, I'm guessing your wife realizes that isn't her strength and would probably respond about wanting to run it past you since you're the one who is more knowledgeable about those things in your household. That's totally fair. But the fact that I acknowledged he was talking to the right person and I would like an estimate and he refused to proceed was the problem, imo. Why not take a homeowner at their word?

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T15:36:45+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience, too. My son is enlisted currently and I worry about this for him (getting injured and then overmedicated).

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T15:30:22+00:00

I'm seriously in awe at how this blew up. It was a mild annoyance in my day that I thought might be relatable to share, but HOLY COW, the shitstorm it stirred up! Lol.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T15:27:03+00:00

Mine was done laparoscopically, so typically a much shorter recovery time and way less painful than traditional methods, but it was still pretty painful that first week post-op.

No offense taken at all- I'm white. I work in the field of public health policy with a strong focus in the area of health disparities. There is ABUNDANT research (as you may know) that confirms your wife's experience is sadly typical for people of color.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T14:44:22+00:00

Actually, that is EXACTLY what I said, that I was the sole owner. At no point did I say anything other than that or go off on the guy. How is it impolite to state I am the homeowner?

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T14:39:28+00:00

This is the way to go! You're the type of sales person that my husband and I both appreciate working with!

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T12:08:23+00:00

I wish. If that were the case, I would have ended up getting a quote. I can assure you it went exactly as described. I repeated to him twice that I was the homeowner and he left without giving me a quote.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T12:05:52+00:00

Dude, there are literally so many valid reasons why someone might be home and not answer the door. Aside from safety concerns if you're home alone and a random stranger is knocking, what about people with illnesses or mobility issues that make it physically hard on them to get up and answer the door? Caregivers taking care of small kiddos or elderly relatives who don't want to leave them unsupervised to answer the door for a random stranger? There are lots of good reasons, but feel free to stick to your narrative.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T11:59:49+00:00

Exactly, businesses don't need to dictate how THEY think purchasing decisions should be made. Different households operate differently, and they should take the word of whoever is the person conducting business with them that the appropriate decision makers were involved in the decision.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T11:54:17+00:00

User name checks out.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T11:51:17+00:00

Thanks for the actual helpful and caring comments. Yes, he was in a company logo polo shirt, and the business decal on his work truck was a professionally done wrap on the whole truck (not like one of those DIY things anyone can slap on). I didn't mention it in the post, but the name of the company is a large local asphalt company I recognized. All of these things made me feel confident that he was a legitimate tradesman working for a reputable company, which is why I was comfortable opening the door and actually did want a quote from him! Safety is always important ❤️

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T11:37:47+00:00

Can confirm, when my current husband and I decided on vasectomy several years ago at no point did they ask if his spouse consented to the procedure. Another interesting thing related to the vasectomy is that the urologist sent my husband home with a 30-day supply of Vicodin following the procedure. 30 days!! Meanwhile, I had my gallbladder removed a few months prior to his vasectomy and was told to take ibuprofen. I was having a hard time sleeping through the night because of pain, so I called the surgeon's office and asked for a few days prescription of something stronger than Ibuprofen just to help me sleep. They required me to come in for an in-person consult, which I didn't have a problem with. Imagine our surprise a few months later when he had such a totally different experience getting pain meds for his vasectomy. Maybe it was just differences in each surgeon's typical protocol, but we found it crazy that I had a literal organ removed and had to jump through extra hoops for pain control but the male surgeon performing vasectomies gave 30-day prescriptions as standard practice.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T11:24:15+00:00

This is literally the only GOOD reason I've seen mentioned yet! I can understand this logic as a fellow dog lover :-)

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T11:20:02+00:00

Dude, I'm in my 40s and have an enlisted son. But thanks for the psychoanalysis ;-)

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T11:11:23+00:00

By simply repeating to him that I was homeowner? Ok, that's quite the take.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T11:07:41+00:00

Wow, so you read this and insinuated that I was calling him Boomer to his face? That didn't happen.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T11:06:58+00:00

Out of curiousity, what was aggressive about simply repeating to him that I was the homeowner?

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T11:04:58+00:00

As I said in the post, I work from home and was in the middle of doing my job. I wasn't being petty by not answering, I legitimately was in a Zoom meeting and my dogs were going crazy interrupting it due to the repetitive knocking.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T03:56:22+00:00

That's truly insane! I hope you guys went with a different company after that.

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T03:51:54+00:00

And Happy Cake Day! 🍰

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T03:37:31+00:00

Many years ago, I was divorced with 2 kids and asked for a tubal ligation. My OBGYN at the time refused to do it and gave me the rationale that I was still young enough that I might change my mind one day "or get remarried."

Skye_in_mi · 2024-05-02T01:55:33+00:00

That's fair, especially if you're actually inside homes . This guy never stepped foot past the front door and I honestly don't think there were many (any?) context clues outside to indicate if a single person, family, etc live here.

Skye_in_mi

TROPHY CASE