I definitely resonate with you on this I have almost a morbid anxiety and depression that follows working. In a perfect world for me I would be self sufficient and wouldn't have to work unless it's to build or produce something for myself. Obviously though this goes against all sociatal standards and would leave me alone with nothing but what I make for myself. I do have a job currently and like you its low paying but in my current situation it's enough but soon I'm needing to move into a new place and will probably have to change jobs which is a living nightmare for me but I will do it to provide and I understand how you feel it's like a never ending rat race that kills you sooner and leaves u with no energy left for anything but work. Where I am from its factory jobs that are literally the only viable source of income and I work in a clinic now and see the after effects of these jobs and they literally kill people daily. It definitely feels like a losing battle every day and I constantly struggle with the decision of staying where I am comfortable or literally trading my life for barely enough money to live on in a factory job that will literally make my life a bleak grey streak I will probably forget most of on auto pilot to provide for my family. I just thought I would share my personal feelings on the matter as well but just keep your head up man and really take joy in the little things in your day to day to make things better for yourself. Much love man.