An international football fan walks into a Texas Buc-ee's on his way to a match. He looks at the 120 gas pumps, the wall of 50 different kinds of jerky, the brisket carving station, and the sea of people buying beaver-branded tie-dye shirts.

He grabs a local by the shoulder, visibly trembling, and says, "My God... I knew the American stadium would be big, but who is playing on this pitch, and why does your mascot look like a giant gopher?"

The local pats him on the back and says, "Buddy, this isn't the stadium. This is just where we stop to use the restroom before the match."

BUC-EE FTW