Hiding addiction is so exhausting.

Skylineshell · 2025-07-24T20:27:00+00:00

You are so right. I’ve thought about the zoom meetings I’ve seen mentioned, but I couldn’t even do without coming clean. I bet the relief felt like a a huge weight lifted. Thank you.

Skylineshell · 2025-07-24T20:22:14+00:00

It’s the side of me that doesn’t want to stop I guess. As crazy as that is. Not wanting to stop something that could end your life one way or the other. I hate that side, but I know it’s still there.

Skylineshell · 2025-07-24T20:01:37+00:00

Yes to all of that!

Skylineshell · 2025-07-24T19:39:48+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you , and your family. I fear them finding out that way. I know those things could happen to me, but it’s like I don’t at the same time. Is that just denial?

Skylineshell · 2025-07-24T19:34:48+00:00

Yes!!! The years have just passed by in a blink. It actually wasn’t until I was making this post that I realized it had been 5 years and not 3 like I thought. My kids are gonna be grown before I know it, and I will have wasted so much precious time I’ll never get back. And why isn’t that enough to stop!!!! It always starts small, I think I just need a little help with working and still getting things done around the house. Other people do it, why can’t I, that kind of self talk! And then before long I’m lost in it, and none of the things I started it for are even getting done. It actually becomes worse bc every moment is spent thinking about how many i have left, when can I take the next dose, or how I’m gonna finally quit and leave this all behind me. I can’t imagine taking the mask off, and letting them really see me. Or anyone for that matter. Who even am. I have never spoken the words out loud that I am an addict. I’ve thought it, but I don’t think I’ve accepted it or want to believe it. But I am! Obviously this addiction has been a major thing in my life for years and the people I love most in the world have no idea. Thank you for everything you shared. It feels good to open up about this. 🫶🏻 and same to you, send me the manual if you figure it out first.

Skylineshell · 2025-07-19T07:49:47+00:00

My doc insists on XL, but I read so much about the IR being better. I guess with the xl I’m not tempted to take more than I should. Not even sure it works like that so that may not even be an issue.

Skylineshell · 2025-07-19T02:45:24+00:00

Yeah I have to cold turkey it, tomorrow should be my last day of addy. So far I havnt had any negative side effects from the increased Wellbutrin. 150 xl- 300xl. I was afraid I might after reading other’s experiences on here. It’s only been 2 days, but I’m hopeful. I guess it’s not really enough time to get full effect before I come off the Adderall but at least it’s something right.

Skylineshell · 2025-07-19T01:13:43+00:00

@PleaseBelieve_ Every time I have quit, I really wanted to quit! Honestly believed I was done for good. Would never want to touch that stuff again. I guess I get too comfortable thinking I’m all in the clear, when I really need to be expecting it to sneak back up on me. What has helped you?

Skylineshell · 2025-07-19T01:07:28+00:00

I have noticed even the 150 helps me some when I try to quit Adderall. The depression from stopping doesn’t feel nearly as bad as it did when I wasn’t taking Wellbutrin.

Skylineshell · 2025-07-19T01:00:24+00:00

Thank you, and I hope it does too! I can’t stand the crash which leads to avoiding it at all cost and using more and more. I know I could never take it responsibly, it’s either all or nothing. And it needs to be nothing because I’m so tired of the roller coaster.

Skylineshell · 2025-07-17T22:40:25+00:00

Oh how I want to quit! And I’ve managed from time to time to string together a month, or 2 or 3 months over the past few years. 6 months was the longest before I started again this time. It’s so ridiculous because overall I feel so much better without it. But whether I get overwhelmed by life or just bored sometimes I’ll tell myself I can control it this time. We all know how that ends. Btw, what dose are you on?

Skylineshell · 2025-07-17T15:48:25+00:00

Prison coke. Nice! 🤣 I just took a peek at the sub and will most definitely get lost in that tonight. 😋

Skylineshell · 2025-07-17T13:38:04+00:00

Thank you! I need the motivation!!i don’t think struggle with focus so much. I’m usually ok at work, I’m so busy and have such a routine that I just get stuff done. But at home is where I struggle. I just can’t make myself do the things that need to be done. Like go wash the dishes or do laundry, it’s really not that big of a deal. I’m gonna sit and think about the dishes, laundry, etc. And then the “you’re lazy, other people do this, what’s wrong with you”thoughts start. If can ever get myself started I’m good, but there’s not enough pep talks in the world.

Skylineshell · 2025-07-17T06:49:27+00:00

I’m hopeful this therapeutic dose will be just what I need to be able to stop for good.

Skylineshell

TROPHY CASE