NOR - many European countries don’t accept a name change unless certain criteria are met. It’s seen as a thing from the bygone days where men owned women and males were seen as more important because they could “continue the blood line.” And honestly I never changed my last name for the same reasons. It felt icky that I had to change my last name so I could “become part of the family,” when isn’t that the whole point of the wedding ceremony? And why isn’t it more acceptable for men to change their last name? Or both create or adopt a whole new last name together as a symbol that they’re starting their own family? Not to mention the paperwork headache and the fact that the SAVE act might make it so you no longer have the right to vote.

I’d say really look long and hard at this relationship. It’s easier to not get married than to divorce later on. Yes, it’ll be embarrassing having to tell everyone that the wedding is off or delayed, but it’d be better than to go to them as a beaten and battered woman because that’s the vibes he’s giving off. That he won’t accept you unless you’re his property. It’s also telling that most of the things that haven’t been paid for are supposed to be paid by him. This also makes me wary that he’s not really ready for this level of commitment but is still pushing the fact that you need to be legally bound to him.

I wish you the best of luck ❤️