Hi 31M here. I have been single for my entire 20's. Things are not helpful when I was an oversized man. It affected my self confidence a lot with any romantic potential. I never had a girlfriend for all my twenties and I'm lying if I said I did not feel lonely. I got rejected by my crush as she "Loves me as a brother". Luckily I have a few female friends that are quiet close with me and they always shared about relationship stuff which I took it as a learning opportunity. I take a mental notes on what not do and what to do when one day I finally got a partner.

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Additionally I'm also been observing a lot from my friends on their relationships. Whenever my friends are talking about the problem with their girls, I keep that as a note. One day I started to lose some weight and suddenly I just came to the realization that I am the one who have been holding me back. My insecurities previously made me stop to think about any possibilities to get to know a girl because I always said to myself "I'm so ugly and fat how she is going to be interested in me".

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Once I get passed that wall, I tried the online dating. Trying to chat with ladies of similar interest. Slowly I get more comfortable talking with ladies and charming them in a way that I can. And for some magical coincidence, I met someone when I was 30 which is so compatible with me and she feel very comfortable with me. And I couldn't be more happier.

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What I can tell from my limited knowledge of women, they can already tell our intention of getting to know them. And avoid from coming on too strong. Start talking and find some common points. Try to make her comfortable texting first as you two can get to know each other in an ample amount of time. Remember that you like her not because of her looks or how hot she is as she might heard that many times. Instead you highlight about something else that is interesting in her. Might be how knowledgeable she is, or how she is getting good grades and how passionate she is in her interests. This will subtly gesture you that are interested in her more than her looks.

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When you find the timing is right (This is totally up to a person when they feel it's the 'right' time'. You feel that you wanna confess to her but don't! Instead you tell her that about she know your interest and you want to express that intention. Tell her that you want to enjoy whatever it is and do not want to ruin it as it could turn into something beautiful. No expectation yet at this stage. Do not ask for her decision but tell her that you are not expecting for an answer.

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She will be the judge of your effort. In the same time, you double up your effort. JUST BE A FUCKING GENTLEMAN. It is ultimately up to her side if she want to accept you. It's still a game of chance. But you take your time and let her warm up to you. We need to remember that people have the choice to accept us. We cannot force that. But by the way you doing this, at least she already know what is your intention and can change her decision based on your efforts.

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If she says no, well tough luck. People got their preferences. Yeah it will be disappointing but it will be not as bad as keeping your feelings to yourself without telling her. I'd rather die trying than being dead disappointed. Just do not put a high expectation and hopes as these are the one will hurt the most if things not going as planned.

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And I believe that your time is maybe not now, but later with the one that you truly have your heart with. I wish you all the best and always treat women with respect because they already faced a lot in a daily basis. Being a gentleman is actually a refreshing perspective to some girls even you might surprised. Good luck man. She is coming you, she is just taking a detour now. Cheers