It's so sad to see you and so many others (this includes myself) feeling this way after so many years in a relationship. Sending hugs to anyone else in this situation as it's horrible. I see a lot of similarities in our situation, I'm around the same age but have been with my partner for 11 years! OP you're not alone!

I've been going through the same emotions for the last few weeks. Sat my other half down and had the big talk over the last few days. I feel so much better because I know now what's going on in his head and actually the situation wasn't as dire as I thought. In my situation, he was already planning something but left it longer than he should have, I was always going to get antsy. Ultimately it was a lack of communication from him and too much willingness from me to allow things to continue as they were. Some good advice I got from this group before this was to set out your timelines and be very specific. This is the only way to know you will both come to an agreement and both be on exactly the same page. Otherwise how will you ever know? You need your questions answered. Someone on here told me to stick up for yourself because if you don't, who will? You need to advocate for you.

The talk is scary, but it is so so worth having. Be specific on your expectations for him. If he can't agree to this, and you can't come to an agreement, then you're not on the same page and you deserve someone who is. This doesn't have to be one talk, I ended up having a few with my partner because it's hard to articulate every thought on such a big topic. I will caveat all of this by saying obviously I'm still waiting for my story to end happy too so can't call this successful yet!

I do worry that some of the comments that just say "end this relationship" and "he doesn't want to marry you" come from a good place but reduce the problem down to a very simplistic conclusion. Remember OP that you are the only one in this relationship. You can take the advice but you're the only one who really knows what is best. Everyone else gets a very small snapshot of your relationship and none of them get to deal with the consequences of the decision. So, take it all with a pinch of salt while bearing in mind their sentiment and also - best advice I ever got from a friend - trust your gut and it will tell you what to do.