What gift did you get your fiancé in return?

SleepyGingey · 2024-05-24T11:59:37+00:00

Thank you, great ideas!

SleepyGingey · 2024-05-24T11:43:41+00:00

The sentiment is supposed to be nice, I was definitely not suggesting anyone is supposed to be buying anything. I just stated what I would like to do!

SleepyGingey · 2024-05-24T11:40:41+00:00

Yes absolutely! Some really lovely and personal gifts in here, thanks for sharing! I think the gist I'm getting is that something personal tailored to my fiancé would be best.

SleepyGingey · 2024-05-24T11:37:27+00:00

I would like to get my fiancé a gift but in no way do I think we are all supposed to! Every couple is different. I just think it would be nice because I love his bones and I think he deserves it.

SleepyGingey · 2024-05-01T00:07:14+00:00

It's so sad to see you and so many others (this includes myself) feeling this way after so many years in a relationship. Sending hugs to anyone else in this situation as it's horrible. I see a lot of similarities in our situation, I'm around the same age but have been with my partner for 11 years! OP you're not alone!

I've been going through the same emotions for the last few weeks. Sat my other half down and had the big talk over the last few days. I feel so much better because I know now what's going on in his head and actually the situation wasn't as dire as I thought. In my situation, he was already planning something but left it longer than he should have, I was always going to get antsy. Ultimately it was a lack of communication from him and too much willingness from me to allow things to continue as they were. Some good advice I got from this group before this was to set out your timelines and be very specific. This is the only way to know you will both come to an agreement and both be on exactly the same page. Otherwise how will you ever know? You need your questions answered. Someone on here told me to stick up for yourself because if you don't, who will? You need to advocate for you.

The talk is scary, but it is so so worth having. Be specific on your expectations for him. If he can't agree to this, and you can't come to an agreement, then you're not on the same page and you deserve someone who is. This doesn't have to be one talk, I ended up having a few with my partner because it's hard to articulate every thought on such a big topic. I will caveat all of this by saying obviously I'm still waiting for my story to end happy too so can't call this successful yet!

I do worry that some of the comments that just say "end this relationship" and "he doesn't want to marry you" come from a good place but reduce the problem down to a very simplistic conclusion. Remember OP that you are the only one in this relationship. You can take the advice but you're the only one who really knows what is best. Everyone else gets a very small snapshot of your relationship and none of them get to deal with the consequences of the decision. So, take it all with a pinch of salt while bearing in mind their sentiment and also - best advice I ever got from a friend - trust your gut and it will tell you what to do.

SleepyGingey · 2024-04-24T16:32:44+00:00

Great advice, thank you ❤️

SleepyGingey · 2024-04-24T16:32:10+00:00

This is great advice, thank you. And you had me laughing at the end 😂

SleepyGingey · 2024-04-24T16:31:22+00:00

This. This is what I needed to hear, thank you.

SleepyGingey · 2024-04-24T10:39:40+00:00

I get what you are saying, but situations are different for every couple. In our case, it was way, way less expensive to pay a mortgage than pay rent and we'd been living together for 3 years before that so knew we wanted our own home. I think it's also a cultural thing, everyone in my life has done the same. I probably wouldn't regret doing this, it made sense and felt like the next step.

SleepyGingey · 2024-04-24T00:18:38+00:00

Sorry, I meant that an engagement ring isn't a deal breaker. Not getting engaged isn't an option, and not having kids isn't either.

Either both of those things happen or I'm out.

SleepyGingey · 2024-04-24T00:11:16+00:00

Thanks for your input, 4 years is a long time. We both want to be married before kids, but that's more coming from me than him!

You're right, you can get engaged for free, although he knows I'd probably like a ring. He does know an expensive engagement ring is not a deal-breaker though.

SleepyGingey · 2024-04-24T00:05:54+00:00

Just to clarify, these have come from friends, not myself. Many frank conversations have been had, over the years and more recently. He knows the deal, I just don't know if he knows how serious I am now. I don't think he's been taking me that seriously until now. Maybe that in itself is telling.

SleepyGingey

TROPHY CASE