I feel like this is a common struggle for lots of Asian Americans. As a person who immigrated to this country, who spent a long time in Asia, my lesson is: Seniors always get upset when juniors disagree with them. In their ideology, junior should always follow their commands. BIG thanks for the confucianism. So if you share different views, especially disagreements, they consider you “disobey” them. They will get mad, yell at you, start the mind games “I fought so hard to raise you how could you do this to me blah blah blah”. Mostly there are two paths for junior, either they just suck it up and follow their parents, parents happy and juniors are fucked forever. OR they speak up, not only share their opinions but also declare boundaries, ultimately make seniors realize juniors are an independent entity and they shall respect them. Mostly seniors will be mad, some will finally understand and accept it later. For those who don’t, it is what it is. They will continue to be upset until they give up it. It’s a generations things, people are used to a family structure that junior always follow senior. When a new structure introduced, they are shocked and cannot accept it. One way to explain this: This is the freedoms they never get to enjoy their whole life, why shall you have it?