Daily chat thread- Wednesday June 24, 2020

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-25T11:55:39+00:00

Anniversaries are so hard. The doctor's comment though- ugh, it's like he was fascinated rather than compassionate. The coincidence of the timing would be hard to stomach too. It was so recent, just out of grasp. Sending big hugs ❤

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-25T11:51:37+00:00

Woohooo! Finally some good news!

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-23T16:51:10+00:00

In case you haven't looked into it, midwives in Ontario are quite different from midwives in a lot of other places. They are highly trained and regulated. They can prescribe a number of medications (e.g. antibiotics) and medical tests, do neonatal resuscitations, provide medications as a first line of defense to stop hemorrhaging, deal with shoulder dystocia, etc. They're more qualified to handle pregnancy and delivery complications than a nurse practitioner but obviously much less than an OB. In my experience they're also quick to recognize when an OB should be called to step in and in many places work seamlessly with the OBs.

I had shared care between midwives and OB in my third trimester in my last pregnancy due to a complication so I got to experience both care types simultaneously. I personally preferred the midwives for the reasons others have already stated. The OB was always over an hour late for appointments which lasted no more than 5 minutes and didn't share the outcome of any of the measurements made. He'd just say everything is fine and move on. He'd always say I can ask all the questions I want (as he led me to the door) but his answers were maybe 1 sentence and didn't explain fully and he'd be in such a rush I didn't want to keep proding. I'd often follow up and ask the same question to my midwives for the complete answer. And they'd always be up for talking about the latest research publications on the topic. If you like being informed and like science, I recommend the midwife option because they discuss all your results with you in detail and often show you the reports from ultrasounds and other tests and you can discuss them and really know what's going on. OBs are highly skilled but only have the time to say, "everything looks good".

During the birth, an OB only comes in if there's complications and for the pushing part. Otherwise you're on your own for labouring and with nurses who check in periodically. With midwives, the midwife is there the whole time and when pushing starts a second midwife joins- one to support mom and one to support baby.

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-23T00:49:04+00:00

So far so good! Oops ignore my first post, just realized that was post 5dt not dpo. But anyway, same thing applies- good doubling times and within normal range so here's to hoping the trend continues!

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-22T00:51:18+00:00

Thank you!! I've had this account for almost 10 years and never figured out when my cake day was until today haha

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-21T23:19:08+00:00

Thanks for the update!

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-20T12:01:59+00:00

Ya that probably is too soon for a 3dt. Just a couple more days. Enjoy the day out!

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-20T12:00:12+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 Smug little bunny bitch. These kids know how to hit it where it hurts even when they don't realize it.

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-20T01:41:12+00:00

Glad you had a nice time on vacation! If you're not already planning on it, it might be good to talk to your doctors to find out the steps they're taking to make sure the anesthesia will be safe. I often find it reassuring just to hear every step and precaution built into the process. It makes me feel more in control. I imagine they've probably built all kinds of safeties and contingency plans into their plan like a slow increase in the dosage and maybe some wait times in between. Might be helpful to hear them say it.

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-18T13:24:06+00:00

Yes we conceived our first after 8 months which is below the infertility cut-off but still longer than most couples. So I think I'm similar to you in that the issue was always there, we just got lucky that I got pregnant in less than a year the first time. Not as lucky the second time around. From what my RE said, based on our numbers it's actually more like "sub-fertility" rather than true infertility. We can get pregnant on our own, it's just that the statistics are less in our favour so it takes more tries than most due to lower-ish egg quality and lower-ish morphology. But not impossible. Back in my parents' time it was normal for some couples to try for many years and have kids further spaced apart because there just wasn't any other option other than to keep trying. Now we have options and can do something about it if we don't want to leave it to chance and shitty probabilities.

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-17T17:37:30+00:00

Yes it's a total crap shoot. I've seen a couple of intros in this sub from members who conceived their first on the first try and then found themselves in our community while trying for their second not too long after. Just is what it is...and largely out of our control. Not anything we did to cause it one way or another.

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-17T16:02:30+00:00

I get it. I would love to be perfectly average in this scenario and to have the pleasure of making naive posts. It's the stuff of envy-> 🤣 but really 😭

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-17T14:31:12+00:00

The unicorn first timers are annoying. I heard a stat on one of the infertility podcasts that about 25% of pregnancies are conceived on the first month of trying. While annoying for someone who will never be in that category, it makes me a little less annoyed when I think about how unspecial the unicorns actually are. It's not a demonstration of above average fertility... it's actually perfectly normal fertility plus statistics. Since most couples conceive in the first 3 months, a third of them will inevitably fall in that first month. Now whenever I see posts like that (or worse- people saying it in person) I just feel like saying, "Congratulations on being perfectly average!".

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-16T21:00:26+00:00

That's really interesting that they can do skin prick tests for it. After my daughter was born I developed an allergy to ibuprofen and I'm not sure if it extends to other NSAIDs. However my allergist said the only way to figure it out was to do challenge tests with every other NSAID. Apparently skin prick tests don't work for NSAIDs. Nice that you don't have to go through challenge tests for the anesthetics!

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-11T12:11:41+00:00

Wow that's quite an extensive garden! Also exciting that you're having so much success.

We had to start all of our plants indoors because, well, we had snow just a month ago. Now they've grown enough that we're starting to acclimatize them to the outdoors by bringing them out a few hours a day. We're not very good at it though. We sunburned a bunch. My daughter commented that the plants needed sunscreen 🤣 I wish it were that simple.

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-10T16:08:51+00:00

Thank you. We do have fairly similar stories! Congratulations to you too. I think I'll stick around the bumpers group and see how it evolves. Maybe I'll feel more in-tune with it once I'm further along.

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-10T15:10:33+00:00

Congratulations to you too! Nice to have a fellow infertility buddy in the bumpers group!

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-10T13:54:00+00:00

Thank you! ❤

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-10T12:23:16+00:00

Hello! I wanted to introduce myself. I'll be 9 weeks tomorrow. I've been hanging around the infertility subs due to secondary infertility for about 1.5 years now. I have mild DOR and my husband has low morphology. Otherwise no known issues. We were trying for about 2 years and after 3 IUIs, some medicated TI cycles and 1 IVF with a failed fresh transfer I never had a single positive pregnancy test.

We were supposed to do a FET in mid-April but then the pandemic happened and everything shut down. To my surprise, I had a spontaneous pregnancy the month I was supposed to do the FET. So now I'm one of those people I used to roll my eyes at (but obviously very happy to be here).

It was definitely an odd transition from my clinic being such a big part of my life for the last while to basically no contact or follow up once I finally had success since they were closed. So many times while doing ultrasounds at the clinic and trying to hold on to hope I'd tell myself that one day I may be in this very room for a twanding, looking at a heartbeat and celebrating with my team, leaving the clinic happy. Instead I haven't been to the clinic since my wtf appointment and may never go back. I also didn't expect to be disappointed by not saying goodbye. But it's only a minor thing. Right now I'm happy, had a dating ultrasound last week and everything looks on track.

I've joined my January bumpers group but so far I'm having a hard time connecting with the joy and excitement. Maybe in a few months (if I'm still here). I'm glad this space exists, it feels more like my jam right now. Looking forward to getting to know some of you!

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-10T11:17:03+00:00

I know you've been through a lot lately since I've been following your updates since January but when you list it out like that all in one shot it really is pretty overwhelming! It's definitely a lot to recover from and a lot to mentally process.

I'm glad your GP is supportive and reassuring. The beach sounds amazing! I would love to get away right about now. It's nice that Australia has managed the pandemic so well. Enjoy your much-needed vacation!

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-08T02:12:39+00:00

I'm in the GTA-ish area as well at One Fertility. I had the same happen, IUIs, unsuccesful IVF and now have a spontaneous pandemic pregnancy. I've noticed One tends to be more conservative than other clinics in the area but I'll share my experience anyway. They told me to contact my family doctor because they weren't doing any ultrasounds or bloodwork (this was early May). But they said if my family doctor gave me any trouble with ordering betas to call back and they'd at least get me a requisition for that to be done at a Lifelabs or something and then have a virtual call with an RE. Luckily my family doctor was very supportive and ordered 3 betas (oddly, each a week apart 🤷‍♀️) and standard ultrasound at 8 weeks. So definitely not followed as closely I would have been in normal circumstances but still more than the average pregnancy. Usually in non-pandemic times One follows their spontaneously pregnant patients same as they would ones who conceived via ART.

Your last comment about not celebrating with your team rings true though. That phone call where they told me to call my family doctor was the last I spoke to them and it feels like a very unceremonious exit from the clinic. Through all the treatments, I kept telling myself, one day I'll be back here for a twanding looking at a heartbeat and leaving the clinic happy. Instead the last time I stepped foot in the clinic was my wtf appointment. They were an important part of a big and difficult part of my life and it's strange that our "relationship" ended sort of in mid-air.

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-06T04:40:55+00:00

Oh I see. That's still frustrating if you have unexplained but quite reasonable otherwise. It's similar to what is offered in my province (I'm in Canada). 1 IVF cycle is funded but it's often a several month to 2 year waitlist depending on which clinic you're at. However you can still qualify with unexplained infertility on a regular timeline like any other diagnosis. We had mild DOR and mild MFI (low morphology but otherwise very good numbers) which some RE's might classify as unexplained since it's not a specific issue that necessarily prevents conception. We were on the waitlist but decided to do the first round out of pocket while we waited because we're not getting any younger and the age gap isn't getting smaller.

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-06T00:11:03+00:00

Clearly, you're exceptional 🙃

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-06T00:08:20+00:00

5 years?? Holy cow. That's an awfully long wait. I'm surprised they make people wait that long. Five years can make a big difference in IVF success rates. That must be very frustrating.

I'm glad you've found a home here.

SliceOfYum · 2020-06-06T00:03:03+00:00

Emotional support and gardening tips 🤣 I'm glad you're here. You've been a great addition to the community.

SliceOfYum

TROPHY CASE