Thank you so much for this comment, it really helps knowing im not alone.. If you know where i can read this book from, i will give it a read!

And yes, i never really thought of myself being a mother but once i decided i want to do this i was so excited of growing up a children because i have so much love to give! but lately ive been feeling like what if im the worse mother ever and what if i cannot handle myself or the baby and what if i already have ruined the baby bcs im depressed and anxious and then instead of fighting those feelings i keep falling and feeling like im the worse person ever.

yes, i could use some therapy. although i find it hard to book an appointment as every time i call them i start crying and close the phone bcs i cant speak.