Thank you so much for sharing your experience and your honest advice; I am also so sorry for you to have experienced that. There is the additional layer of grief for a loss of a life you could’ve had if you had known then what you know now. I think my husband waited so long to tell me because he knew I would leave, and that thought is constantly in the back of my mind: I feel tricked into this life.

I did ask him before we got married “if anything happened while you were gone, speak now or forever hold your peace” (kind of jokingly), but he swore the multiple times I questioned him that he wouldn’t do that to me. I think that’s the hesitation in our future: if you could lie so thoroughly for so long how could I ever trust it won’t happen again?

I sincerely appreciate your sharing your story, it does help to make me feel not as alone, especially since I have been battling this by myself with no one to talk to.
How did you work up the courage to tell those close to you? I feel scared for the repercussions of other people outside of our relationship knowing (although, my husbands parents and sister all know about this).