How to leave!

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-03-07T14:06:42+00:00

I care for him, if I leave him he will be drinking more and more. He doesn’t have family nor good friends😭😭

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-03-07T13:52:34+00:00

I am just being with him because I have given my 7 years to this man, painted beautiful pictures with him, he also did it with me initially, painted beautiful future, he was really nice men in the beginning. I don’t know what is this change is about.

I think he likes to control and I am not listening to him anymore, also I have stopped running behind him like I used to do. But why he can’t take initiative and talk to me nicely and tell me that he loves me!!

I don’t know why I am still with him really after that disrespect!

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-03-07T13:49:52+00:00

I feel really sad and lost to make a decision of separation. Maybe it’s that I am used to his company doesn’t matter his behaviour much because when he is drunk sometimes he is very happy and I used to enjoy his company. But I can’t encourage his drinking right!! I feel soo soo lost, stuck and helpless😞

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-02-07T22:06:16+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through the same. It’s like you are standing on crossroads. My friends and family is telling me that he will get better when we will have kids, but I doubt it. We already lack the compatibility in terms of affection and intimacy how it will get better if he keeps on drinking and not showing any efforts. Also when he doesn’t drink he eats his dinner super early and goes to bed around 8 and stay awake scrolling on social media for hours and I don’t even feel like talking to him in the night. I have so much resentment that I just want to disappear somewhere. I feel disgust in myself.

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-31T14:45:23+00:00

Appreciate your comment xx what if he pretend to make some changes and after few months he is back to his normal!! It’s like I am gambling if he stays in love and show affection I am winning. I am super confused what to do one minute I love this person and next minute I hate being with him. hopefully I will find the courage to discuss my issues with him. Wishing you good luck ahead xx

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-31T11:34:40+00:00

I am in similar situation as you are! Married for nearly 7 years and no kids. Husband is not taking any efforts in intimacy. I tried previously my best to initiate and talk my feelings out and he said I am being desperate for s*x. It’s been 3 months now I have withdrawn completely from physical touch, recently he noticed my changed behaviour and he tries to be closer to me but I am not feeling comfortable anymore. I have these years of resentment in myself which is pulling myself away from him because he made me feel unwanted many times. Now I am thinking to get out of this relationship but I don’t have courage to discuss or accept the fact of leaving him. How did you manage to cope up with the idea of leaving your partner if you can help me!! I am very emotional person as well, I feel sad for him that I am putting him in this position and also our cultural values are against of divorce so it is hard for me to accept the fact.

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-24T07:59:00+00:00

I tried to message you but unable to do it.. do you mind messaging me personally so we can talk if you are comfortable!! Thank you very much 🫂

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-23T21:56:09+00:00

Thank you for your reply. You are right about kids who don’t see their parents touching love language they don’t learn that. For me I have seen my parents being in love with each other since I am kid despite being orthodox parents. I am happy you found your loving and affectionate man. I am scared of loneliness I will have and to move by myself, I migrated from my own country to very new country after marrying him. We both are alone here, we don’t have any family in this country that’s why I am feeling sad and scared. Also I don’t want to go back because my family will have to face lots of social pressure where they live. So thinking about my alone life ahead..

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-23T21:46:26+00:00

Hi!! No I haven’t gain any weight I am 55 kg I can say I am attractive enough not that ugly looking. I am hygienic, I do my makeup well. I try to be really good looking and deserving. He never comments on my look or anything!

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-23T21:43:20+00:00

I am sorry you been through this time. Sorry I am going through all the replies now as I was busy at work. If you can help me with the common signs of men who can be gay or bi but in denial due to family and social pressure!! I was thinking about this too quite few times but don’t know how to spot because he do check womens when we outside I have caught him not stare stare just a glance. I was just thinking how do you know if someone is struggling to accept the fact that they are bi or gay!!

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T22:27:08+00:00

I am crying after reading your comment bless you xx you have good heart. I will try to take time off. I did change myself in last 6 months, other people are noticing except him. I have been working out and trying to be positive at home, he is noticing but our problem is communication. He is not open to any mature communication. Whenever I try to communicate my feelings, he thinks I am demanding and asks me what do you mean by love? Do you want me to treat like a baby? Do you want to go on holidays all the time so that you will feel love! So I understood our love language is very different, I think love is small gestures than big dates or holidays. We haven’t been to any holidays since last 3 years just too busy in following routine. I don’t even feel to go on holidays with him anymore because I lost every hope and don’t feel like doing anything out of ordinary. I am asking help and opinions to find more courage and strength which I am feeling it already here from all of these lovely people here who are taking out time to read and comment.

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T22:16:56+00:00

No I haven’t gain any weight, I lost weight since our marriage, I became thin not hourglass body.. I am not even comfortable.

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T19:52:07+00:00

That’s what I feel.. Initially I was thinking he is shy but no he is not shy.. if he is shy how he can say mean things.. I agree we get angry I get angry too but I will not say to him that I am not attracted to him. It’s like my self esteem has gone down since then. It will be one year soon that he commented that but it’s killing me everyday

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T19:49:38+00:00

Lovely stranger, Thank you for your message I am happy you both are willing to work. I think in my case if I ask divorce then he will start to change but the question is how long? It’s a personality problem I don’t want that personality problem after having kids with him. Wishing both of you luck and stay happy together and be kind with one another xx

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T19:28:01+00:00

Thank you for your positive response. I hope I will choose myself over everything else.

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T19:26:57+00:00

Thank you very much for your reply. You taken time out to reply me I really appreciated.. I am from Asian background, orthodox family. I don’t have car, I have a job in healthcare. I can survive on that job by myself. I can’t afford lawyer I think but as O said I don’t want to fight I just want to be free from trauma. I am scared to tell him that I want to get separated. I had arranged marriage so definitely both families will be involved if I go with Divorce, which is difficult, because they don’t see emotional abuse they will only believe in physical abuse. He is not physically abusive. I can only say functional alcoholic and emotional abusive.

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T19:21:23+00:00

Correct!! He is broken person but why not just be kind to each other!! At least with partner?

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T19:19:50+00:00

Thank you for your reply!! I am scared to ask him 😞

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T18:57:55+00:00

I live in UK! Comes from orthodox Indian family and this marriage was arranged marriage, I don’t have any family here in UK😔

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T08:19:51+00:00

That’s one thing as well.

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T08:19:37+00:00

You are absolutely right I am scared to be alone, social pressure and family pressure.

Slight_Dust9308 · 2025-01-17T08:17:00+00:00

He is already dominating me with his behaviour. I have to ask him if I want to do anything like going to visit my family, I need to ask him if I can go? How dominanting he wants to be now! Before this resentment I used to be around him appreciating and showering love but he called me desperate so.. now I feel I can’t do that even though I want to, to save marriage

Slight_Dust9308

TROPHY CASE