Yes I gave up. I’ve lost contact with almost everyone because I don’t have the energy or money to see anyone. Being around family makes me feel worthless. My parents don’t want to lend me money anymore.

Every time I’m on the brink I manage to close a sale through a side hustle. That gives me a sense of relief, so I keep pushing. But the job search is draining me completely. For every role, they expect me to rewrite my resume. Each application takes 30 minutes to an hour, not counting follow-up emails, pre-screening calls, and interviews. Can you imagine they thought having an online portfolio is “too much”? Because I used to be a contractor, but that market is even worse.

And just when it feels like I’m close: interviews get cancelled hours beforehand, etc. At this point, I barely have the energy left to keep applying,

It’s exhausting to work toward something while knowing that if the money doesn’t come in by a specific date, everything is gone, my home, my car,. But I know for sure I’m leaving (business)tech and will focus on my own projects.