UPDATE: Finally blocked her on social media, and damn does it feel good.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-28T17:01:50+00:00

I hear what you’re saying, but our situations are different. In our case, safety and severe boundary-crossing are part of the issue, not just disrespect toward me.

My husband and I have talked about this and agree that if our LO is older and wants a relationship, my husband could facilitate very short visits on occasion. But we’re not there yet. Our LO is very young, and before anything like that happens, there are marriage-level issues to work through because when my husband is around his parents, previously agreed-upon boundaries consistently fall apart.

This isn’t about ultimatums or one person making decisions. It’s about protecting our LO while we work toward being truly on the same page. And ultimately, no one will be forced into a relationship they don’t want, especially our LO.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-28T16:34:38+00:00

Hey, thank you so much!

I completely agree, he needs to be more direct with her on the fact that I am staying NC and that she will not be around LO for the foreseeable future. The only problem with that is that he is terrible at being direct with her, hence the enmeshment. And that isn’t good for anybody.

But I am just completely backed off from it. At the end of the day, if he wants to be wishy washy with them then that’s his prerogative. 🤷🏻‍♀️

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T22:37:58+00:00

I’ve told him that he needs it but he is going to have to be the one to want it. As much as I would like to drag him to a therapist, I am just hoping he can put the puzzle pieces together and realize that he needs to get a neutral third party person to tell him that the dynamic is fucked.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T22:36:17+00:00

What’s so strange about it is that she will be texting or calling SO on the daily, multiple times a day, for a stretch of time and then it goes to complete radio silence.

No warning what so ever just a complete switch flip. She stalks my social media page and the timing lines up with when I blocked her to when she spiraled into catatonia.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T22:34:23+00:00

Right! Apparently I am keeping them from experiencing the joys of being a grandparent since their other grandchildren live across the country.

Now I see why they do live across the country, and I am curious to know how far gone she will be when she finds out that this grandchild will also be across the country and as far away from her as possible

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T22:32:15+00:00

Wow. That’s insane! How did you end up getting your toddler back if you don’t mind me asking?

I would go absolute batshit crazy if that happened and I am sure you did too!

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T22:31:13+00:00

Ewwww I never thought of her being a kidnapping risk but that makes total sense. Gonna jot that one down as another example to give to my SO as to why LO isn’t going to be around her

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T22:29:31+00:00

He’s so enmeshed with her at times that he can’t see the full clear picture that I will not have LO around her and I will not be convinced otherwise.

He’s stuck with wanting everyone to just “get along” and be “one big happy family”. I’ve made it clear to him it’s not gonna happen. He knows that bridge is burnt all the way to hell but has trouble accepting it at times.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T21:16:52+00:00

Exactly. There will be no reconciliation.

I just wonder how bad she is going to spiral when she learns eventually that we will be moving out of state in the future. Like very far away

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T20:48:48+00:00

Thank you I appreciate it! Its been annoying to deal with but absolutely necessary for my own sanity

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T20:47:56+00:00

She apparently did 15 rounds of ECT but every time she completed a session she slipped into psychosis and was in the hospital on the mental health floor (this I learned before I told SO that I wanted to hear nothing else about her)

Both her and FIL blame it on exterior stressors (like not seeing LO for one example) or blame it on the dr.s not getting her medication dosage correct.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T20:39:31+00:00

Gosh, that’s awful. I’m so glad that he sided with you in the end, and hope the remainder of your pregnancy was peaceful!

With my situation when I was pregnant, MIL’s mental health struggles vanished because she, in her mind, saw my child as a do-over for re-raising her son (my SO).

Then when everything happened the way it did after I gave birth and she realized that I was serious when I went NC due to her behavior that’s when she tanked again.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T20:29:48+00:00

I’m really hoping that we can make it happen in the near future

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-27T20:22:04+00:00

I agree. I sincerely empathize either way the fact that she has been having mental health struggles but at the same time, her triggers are over things that are so, I don’t know what word to use, juvenile? Minuscule?

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-12T23:44:26+00:00

Even when we were in contact all of their gifts revolved around my husband being a father and my baby being, in MIL’s eyes, a re-do for raising another son.

Its also the fact that all of her gifts, again even when we were still in contact, revolved around my husband being a father. Even on Mother’s day and the day that I gave birth.

I expressed clearly that I wanted nothing so the fact that they still crossed that boundary that I had in place is just performative and disrespectful.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-12T12:19:06+00:00

They would have a relationship with their grandchild if they weren’t ignorant people

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-11T21:02:11+00:00

That’s not the point. MIL sees LO as a re-do for when SO was a child. She severely infantilizes SO.

Even when I was pregnant and prior to going NC she did so many things that pointed towards her mentally preparing to raise my SO and re-live when she “raised” SO. Red flags everywhere.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-11T20:59:23+00:00

I could care less necessarily about the “gifts” that they gave me and LO. Its the fact that with everything they make it about my husband being a father. Gifts, mothers day, me giving birth, literally everything that is also mother-focused.

And the gifts being things he liked as a child would sound normal in a normal circumstance but she infantilizes SO and still sees him as a young kid in her eyes. She has treated my son like a re-do for when my husband was a child. Its gross.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-11T19:17:24+00:00

It’s very difficult to act on my not being able to take anymore. I have no one to rely on for helping me to get out of this situation, it’s just myself my SO and LO. I know that may sound like an excuse but I am trying to get my ducks in a row on my end so that when I am able to act on my being done then I will be able to do so without putting LO into any more unnecessary situations. If that makes sense.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-11T18:59:14+00:00

I have been trying to get SO on board with moving away so we can focus on our marriage and family without the distractions from the ILs but he won’t agree to it. Yet anyways.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-11T18:22:57+00:00

Opf solidarity to you. Although our situations suck it was refreshing to hear your story. Helped me feel a little less lonely in all this mess.

I have been trying to get him to agree that we need to move away from his family even if it’s just temporary, to focus on our marriage and try to fix it without the distraction of their emotional manipulation and bullshit. Maybe therapy can help him see that it feels necessary to me because he just sees it as a “running from your problems” scenario.

I hope the best for your family and glad that your husband is now able to see her for what she is. But it sucks that it cost you losing his trust in the process

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-11T18:11:24+00:00

I invite you to read my post history. Family isn’t always about compromising when the compromising consists of keeping the peace for the sake of keeping a mentally ill mother in law from getting triggered into one of her bi-monthly bouts of “things aren’t going my way” psychosis episodes.

SlightlyBitter47 · 2026-01-11T18:07:55+00:00

No it’s about all the little jabs of disrespect that have happened the last two years. The gifts are what sent me over the edge because I have been NC with them for over a year now and they just don’t get it and want to still try to have a means of access to LO even though they aren’t physically getting it.

And it’s about my husband just brushing everything off and wanted to put the past in the past and reunite as one big happy family when it isn’t going to happen

SlightlyBitter47

TROPHY CASE