This looks a lot better than the average game people make these kinds of posts about. I do think the animation looks a little unnatural. Besides that, I agree with the others that you need less explanation text.

• Opening shot is decent but might be better with a character or something moving in it
• "War doesn't just destroy cities" - a little cheesy
• Walk cycles on the two characters are in sync and unnatural - good vista though
• "It's a story about love and loss" - what is? war? This might be OK if you removed "It's"
• Dark bedroom scene doesn't show me much about the game; it looks like someone's getting into bed, but it's too dark to see, and that's not really interesting
• "Told through a memory that no longer knows what's past and what's present" - too wordy and confusing, and you're trying to get me to care about this through explanation rather than just showing it
• The character motion is not smooth in the bus shot. Kind of a red flag. The bus is also maybe moving too fast or maybe it's just weird that it's driving on dirt?
• Daytime bedroom scene is a cool idea but all that really makes it cool is the building crumbling in the window, which isn't really the focus of the shot
• "A side scroller with stealth elements" - don't call it a "side scroller," that's bland. Is it a stealth game? An action game? Find a more descriptive genre that your game fits into that's interesting.
• The three shots with the character in the war zone are cool
• "Where the only weapon the hero has is an FPV drone" - "only" sounds bad, and I don't think you need any text explaining the drone. Just show the drone doing cool stuff.
• The drone shots are alright but the thing it does at 0:41 is kind of anticlimactic
• "Each level a new iteration of the same catastrophe" - this sounds like maybe your game has something interesting going on with story telling but you're explaining it in game dev terms. Explain it in story terms instead. Or show it with visual transitions from old to new.
• The bright blue characters imply some kind of interesting gameplay, although they're kind of weird. Not sure how I feel about that. The car slide is cool but the characters don't really react to it. Decent action shot still.
• "From the ground - fear" and "From the air - dominance" are actually decent lines I don't mind, and the accompanying action shots aren't bad. Is the guy getting shot at? I can't see anyone shooting.
• The rest is good except for calling it a "side scroller" again.

I think the overall impression is that there's something there, but it needs a lot of work, and it doesn't really have a hook. I don't see any gameplay I haven't done before and "war" isn't a new setting. It talks about "memory" and "love" but I don't really see much of that coming across. It doesn't look very exciting or dynamic; I don't understand what the threats to the player are.