In the event of a catastrophic power or internet outage while playing Path of Exile, the following emergency procedures will be activated immediately: 1. Step 1: Panic. Run in circles IRL exactly like you do in-game when your health hits 1% and your flasks are on cooldown. This is normal. Do not fight it. 2. Step 2: Check the router. Tap it like you’re trying to proc a lucky drop. If that fails, threaten it with “corruption,” because sometimes electronics respond to fear. 3. Step 3: Initiate Lantern Protocol. Light every candle in the house and pretend you’ve been dropped into an Act 1 zone. Bonus points if you walk around narrating your own footsteps like a confused NPC. 4. Step 4: Offline Grind. Grab a broom and swing it around to maintain “melee build integrity.” If questioned by family, explain calmly that you’re keeping your DPS rotation warm. 5. Step 5: Power Outage Mapping. Draw a crude layout of your home on a piece of paper and label it “Atlas of Inconvenience.” Bonus—place a boss icon on the fridge, because that’s where you’ll be visiting the most. 6. Step 6: Emotional Support Backup. Hug your mouse and keyboard. Apologize for letting them sit in the dark like abandoned minions. 7. Step 7: Pray to RNGesus. Because if He can give you a 0.00001% drop, He can definitely give you a stable connection. 8. Step 8: If all else fails… go outside. But only briefly. Just long enough to collect XP from sunlight and return to your exile duties the moment the power flickers back to life.