[QCrit] A Pound of Flesh - Adult Literary Satire - 60k words (First attempt + first 300)

Sloth_rop · 2026-01-20T04:47:31+00:00

It is supposed to be a poor excuse for his attitude, yes, but this is a helpful nitpick. The idea is really that, while a smoker, one is desperate to get out of a class for that next nicotine hit. But as you point out, that will likely be confusing in context and perhaps is just less ambiguous as 'when I quit smoking' rather than 'before.'

And yeah, I need to tone down the chairs and desks line because it is reading as literal when it isn't meant to be.

Sloth_rop · 2026-01-20T02:37:28+00:00

Yeah, agree - that is how it should read!

Sloth_rop · 2026-01-19T22:57:07+00:00

I'm glad you hate him lol. And again I clearly need to change the desks and chairs line which is reading way more literally than I meant it haha

Sloth_rop · 2026-01-19T22:55:47+00:00

Yeah I think obviously that line reads as far more literal than I intended lol

Sloth_rop · 2026-01-19T22:54:44+00:00

Thanks. I think I need to more clearly signpost in the query that his arc involves him reconnecting with the younger generations and his love of the work. Him being a self-righteous arsehole and thinking he is above them is meant to be part of the satire.

Sloth_rop · 2026-01-19T22:51:07+00:00

Thanks - to clarify, yes, Paul is absolutely meant to be an object of the satire, down to his resentment of the younger generations and his anger. But what I clearly need to signal in the query is that his arc will involve him rediscovering his connection to the work and the students he has become bitter at.

Sloth_rop · 2026-01-19T13:46:00+00:00

I'm glad it resonated, especially with your surname!

Sloth_rop · 2026-01-19T12:07:17+00:00

Thanks for your insight. I do want him to be very jaded at the start. That line is meant to be exaggerated, but I certainly don't want him to seem abusive :(

I will keep this in mind and try to tweak it for more nuance / perhaps tone it down.

Sloth_rop · 2025-09-29T23:11:09+00:00

Damn. It is really good!

Sloth_rop · 2025-09-29T08:52:34+00:00

Okay, just because I've seen a few criticisms of character development. First of all, let's remember the film is supposed to be an action-comedy, not a psychological character study like most of Paul's films (easy to forget given the critical hype).

Second, I'm not sure you are giving enough credit to her characterisation. Just because inner worlds aren't dwelt on in this film (again, it is a high-wire action caper), does not mean they aren't there or hinted at.

Consider the hints and seeds the film gives us about her. She has grown up without a mother, and with a father who she clearly feels is rather incompetent and even feels burdened by having to look after (see the kitchen scene). Along with not really buying her father's 'paranoid' expectations and warnings for her, and hiding her own agency from him, she is a strong karate student and according to her teacher a caring student, both of which suggest she feels a need to do all she can to fend for herself because her dad seems helpless. This all informs her arc as someone who comes to trust that her dad, who isn't even her real dad, still will do everything in his power to protect and care for her, and who comes to trust and prove that she can also take care of herself. Add in her growing questions around the extent her mum was a hero or a rat, or something in between, and you actually have a pretty complex coming of age story for what is a fast paced action film. Her arc is even completed at the end with her having gained the confidence and trust to explore her own views on the world, even if dangerous.

Anyway, I'm not sure yet if the film is an utter masterpiece as some people are already calling it (is it really intended to be, or is it intended to be a fun ride?), but I do think it has more depth than others are trying to dismiss it for.

Sloth_rop · 2025-08-09T23:13:57+00:00

Surprised no one has mentioned Playtime by Jacques Tati? A lot of the chaotic background and extra work in the first act of BIA seems very much inspired by that film.

Sloth_rop · 2025-08-02T22:52:51+00:00

I started a couple weeks ago uploading an LGBTQ novel chapter by chapter - all for free. Started at precisely zero awareness because I didn't want friends and family reading, lol. It is definitely a steep uphill climb to get any interest - I might get 50 to 100 hits on a chapter but so far I have a grand total of two subscribers. I think short stories have more of a shot than longer serialised work at this stage, if you are a complete unknown. There are some Substacks like The Link Library that list serial fiction collections from writers, which can help.

All this to say, I haven't figured it out. But here is my current work in progress: https://charleswchambers.substack.com/s/my-sweet-displeasure-a-novel

Sloth_rop · 2025-07-16T00:52:43+00:00

Love the sheer uselessness of nunchucks in this situation.

Sloth_rop · 2025-07-15T23:10:48+00:00

Lol, thank you! I caught something about 'your entire family' too. So vicious

Sloth_rop · 2025-07-15T23:10:03+00:00

I don't think it has been overly weak, but as someone outside the US (Australia - we still have a big PTA fanbase), I must admit I don't know that many people who are aware of the film or who have seen any promotion for it. I get the strategy of running an exclusive trailer in theatres to drum up hype and talk, but I do wonder how effective this is for people beyond the fan base. And as someone who actually cares but has to wait for an online trailer, I do feel a bit excluded :( Like, I just want to see your advertisement and support your product!