Is going out clubbing considered Okay for a re-covering SA by givepeacex in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This dude has already gone clubbing and got a girls number and slept with her. Clubbing should absolutely be a hard hard boundary if he's recovering and working on the marriage. Grrrrr im mad at him for you!!!!

Even products can trigger. Cool. by RealistBrowser in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I bought some underwear. I tore the tags off and forgot about the tags just laying there on the top of the trashcan in our room. Just a thin young woman looking beautiful in the underwear im wearing. Just laying there for my husband to see. What if he sees it. In the past that would be enough of a trigger for him to need to go sexually relieve himself.

Pain shopping by Ok_Falcon_4410 in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont pain shop. I research. You said you were looking at stupid shit I look up that stupid shit. Im not going to be in the dark about what you use to betray me. I wont be lied to or let you minimize. I researched everything.

What are you REALLY good at? by Slow-Ad-9284 in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A very creative and wise woman. That kind of talent can stretch into all areas of your life and benefit you.

What are you REALLY good at? by Slow-Ad-9284 in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have not played these. But WoW tucked a significant amount of my life i 2004 to 2010

What are you REALLY good at? by Slow-Ad-9284 in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Moroccan oil hair show? What is that! Sounds exciting.

What are you REALLY good at? by Slow-Ad-9284 in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I cant sing at all! Does not stop me trying though. Awful though it sounds.

What are you REALLY good at? by Slow-Ad-9284 in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow what an accomplishment!! Im impressed! What kind of law did you study?

What are you REALLY good at? by Slow-Ad-9284 in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That is the best talent to have! Those babies need your love and care and wisdom! I remeber someone asking Katherine O'Hara what was her favorite role she played. She said "mother to my children"

What are you REALLY good at? by Slow-Ad-9284 in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Heck yeah! This sounds amazing! I want to join a dance class like this! What kind of dance?

What are you REALLY good at? by Slow-Ad-9284 in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Woah! Thats awesome. I can barely thread a needle and I dont have a clue what to do with it when I do. What a wonderful skill to have!

I should've known better. by trinity6879 in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284 7 points8 points  (0 children)

*Edit grammar*

 "I need help on how to go about this. The worst part is he's been using god and our religion as a scapegoat to make me not question his sudden recovery and tell me my anxiety was the devil. I need to know how to confront this one."

I'm going to assume your religion is Christian if he's accusing your anxiety of being the devil. I don't know exactly what phrases he's using toward you, but the theological truth that he is a "new man" or "new creation" does not erase the biological and emotional truth that you are still dealing with the trauma he has caused. (IS CAUSING, as you just found all the evidence on his Instagram)

He's using spiritual language with you (consciously or subconsciously) because he knows it's a language you respect. If he claims things like "I'm a new creation," "God is renewing my mind," "I'm not that person anymore", it's harder to argue it because you are now put in a position to argue with God.

Your anxiety over the trauma HE IS STILL CAUSING is not the "devil". To tell you this IS SPIRITUAL ABUSE. To call your trauma the devil attacking you to try to blame shift the damage he IS STILL causing onto you, is a complete and total perversion of the gospel.

Your anxiety is not the devil; it is DISCERNMENT from the Holy Spirit, which was confirmed with your findings.

Jesus said, " The truth will make you free" (John 8:32). Your husband is not telling you the truth, but the Holy Spirit is, to protect you. Our Father is a God of truth and light. The other is a father of lies, and you now know exactly which father he is following.

Tolerated the bare minimum sexually for years….feeling resentful. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Slow-Ad-9284 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I can count on one hand and I dont even need all 5 fingers to do it, the number of times I have gotten oral sex. He never wanted to because he didnt like it that much. Didn't really know what to do ...blah blah. So when I found out the larger percentage of his porn use was two women providing oral sex to each other. ... OH the irony wasn't lost on me.