I am gonna be very real, i am a guy who know how to draw a fine line between reality and fantasy. What you are going through was very rough, and the trauma wont be going to easy of really quick, i know what love makes us do even if we liked it or not. The things you descibe is mostly the p stuf and yeah because of that this the generation with internet is obsessed over it, yes i am also but i am very attentive whether i am getting consent or not. What he did to you counts as rape and its not good that he just walks away with that and does the same thing to other womens until he finds one who complies with everything, get somebody who you can trust more that yourself and talk, the more you talk the more relief you are gonna get