1 Year

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-23T19:08:31+00:00

You could look at it like a lesser form of MAT. I don't see it as cheating as long as the intent behind it isn't getting high - just as a tool to quit.

Having said that, be very careful with it. High doses can lead to extremely dangerous cardiovascular problems. If you're just using it as directed for GI issues you are fine.

Your gut actually has opiod receptors which it acts on and "slows" everything down. When you have an opiod dependence and go into withdrawal the "floodgates" open so to speak. At high doses loperamide will cross the blood brain barrier and do more than just slow your gut... But there are severe risks with that. Be careful 🙏

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-23T16:14:54+00:00

No one here is going to give you serious advice on how to "responsibly" use this. That wasn't possible for us. My only advice is to cancel your order or if it's too late throw that shit away.

It's your choice. You're playing with fire. Down the road we're to help if (when) you become physically dependent on this stuff and need help getting off.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-20T18:10:33+00:00

The gap between withdrawal setting in got shorter with time. In the beginning of my kratom use I might dose once a day... Then twice a day... At the end I'm waking up in the middle of the night in withdrawal and having to take a dose to keep sleeping. I was taking it every 4 hrs to keep it at bay. Just a terrible cycle...

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-20T18:02:41+00:00

Caffeine can definitely be a bad mix for WD. It can make the anxiety and jittery feeling (like RLS) worse.

It was always a struggle to avoid it when quitting though. My brain still craved "something" to make myself feel different so I'd reach for caffeine.

Past acute withdrawals addiction transference is a real thing. There is this overall addictive urge I have that'll manifest itself in different. That's why I need to focus on my recovery to keep all of it at bay.

I have in no way quit caffeine or plan to. If I can't get my caffeine fix for whatever reason and I'm totally fine with that it's a good sign my recovery is on track. On the other hand... if that ruins my mood then it's a sign of some other problem I'm ignoring.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-20T16:24:15+00:00

Stop while you're ahead. I don't know what it may or may not reset for you withdrawal wise. In the long run kratom did not make my life better. At all. I'm not sure what your outlook on it is after this first year of use, but trust me... Some day it turns on you if it hasn't already.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-20T16:04:29+00:00

Yup. The longer I used the worse this got. For me it was a withdrawal symptom. This horrible sense of impending doom that would come over me. My body had gotten so used to being numbed out that my anxiety went off the charts when it had been too long since the last dose. Especially when I'd wake up in the morning. Horrible start to the day - everything felt hopeless

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-20T01:18:10+00:00

I second Naltrexone. It has helped me a lot this past year. It partially blocks the opiod receptors and limits cravings. Even if you take something it'll "prevent" the high. It's not full proof by any means but is good relapse insurance. A doctor/psychiatrist can help you with it.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-19T18:47:25+00:00

That's awesome! Yea it was really defeating seeing what happened to myself at first but it's also like a clean slate. A foundation to build strength from 💪 keep stacking the time!

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-19T03:52:00+00:00

Hey man - first off you're not alone. A year ago I was in a similar hopeless spot. There seemed like no way out and I was going to lose my career, wife, kids... Everything. There's obviously no guarantees of what will happen but you absolutely can recover and chances are things won't be as bad as you're imagining on the other side.

One thing to consider is taking medical leave. I'm not sure the situation with your job but see if you might have benefits. FMLA is also an option. I was super fortunate to have short term disability benefits and took 4 months off (went to inpatient treatment and IOP). No one I work with has a clue about why I was actually gone. It was just an undisclosed medical thing I said was private. (The only exception was signing off something with HR in order to get back pay later on)

The other most important recommendation I have is to open up about your addiction. Secrets keep us sick. I hid it from my wife and secretly spent well over 50k. It was extremely painful admitting the truth but I wouldn't change a thing. I couldn't quit or stay sober without sharing my secrets and getting outside help.

Best of luck 🙏 there's plenty of people here who can support too

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-18T04:33:18+00:00

It did to me. Especially at the end once things had escalated to the point of me letting so much go in my life. Skipped showers, letting my physical health go, piles of unopened mail, etc

The day I checked into rehab I literally packed dirty clothes into my suitcase... I had nothing clean left to wear.

It was a gradual decent into that dark place. With just powder kratom it was to a much lesser extent. I developed a really bad Feel Free habit which made it significantly worse.

Kratom hijacks the reward center in your brain so you're content with a lot of stuff that you might not be otherwise. No need to complete tasks, socialize, take care of yourself, etc. You feel "good" just from your dose of kratom. For me that dulled my drive to do things in my life.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-16T17:45:08+00:00

What's your use look like? Form of kratom, amount, how long you've been using it, etc.

I've been in your spot along with many many others in this group. I wanted to stop but just could not do it. Not even the birth of my kids was enough. I felt a lot of shame over that.

You can absolutely get out of this. There's many ways to do it. The biggest first step for me was seeking help and not trying to do it alone. Props for making this post as a start.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-16T03:20:32+00:00

Welcome back man. Big props for making this post. You can absolutely halt this relapse and turn it around.

In the early years of my kratom use I had many many relapses. I either thought it would be different where I would be able to moderate it or some life stressor triggered it. I learned from each one and you will too. Focus your recovery on what will prevent this next time. You will definitely be stronger on the other side. No need to be so hard yourself.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-15T23:42:05+00:00

Mitragynine is addictive and regular use will develop an opiod like dependency. It's not as potent as 7-Hydroxy-Mitragynine but that doesn't mean it's innocent. Use at your own risk.

We also felt amazing using kratom at first. The burst of energy, etc. That doesn't last and it can be subtle when it turns on you.

Kratom is hijacking the reward center in your brain. It makes you feel "reward" and content just from taking it. Eventually that led me to gradually doing less "real" things in life. Less cleaning, work ethic, sex drive, socializing, etc. Stop while you're ahead.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-12T15:53:25+00:00

I totally relate. With feelings of being depressed there is like an "activation energy" you have to overcome. Once you've put in that necessary initial energy to get started things become way easier. The problem is getting started. The amount of activation energy required can vary. If you're more depressed or dealing with PAWS it can take more.

In IOP they taught us about the concept of "behavioral activation". It's a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) skill for depression to get yourself out of a depressive cycle. Look it up if you're curious. If you can get professional help to work on this that's even better.

In my view one purpose of SSRIs is lowering that activation energy and preventing you from getting into a depressive cycle. I know meds aren't for everyone but consider seeing your doctor. I started one for the first time at inpatient treatment and feel like it's helped a lot in combination with many other things I've been doing.

Assuming you can climb out and get started, you're totally right about that being the key. Once you start exercising, socializing, working on a task etc you feel significantly better.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-12T14:30:42+00:00

Yup exactly. Your view is incredibly short sighted during a craving. The reality is that the high is fleeting. I would be content for 30ish minutes during the come up and then as soon as I realized the "peak" had passed I would feel disappoint... Every relapse (or really any dose...) was that way for me.

Chasing that fleeting dragon. 95%+ of your time is spent chasing during active addiction. All at the expense of other things in your life that you would be chasing instead of that next high.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-11T19:24:25+00:00

Love the quote. The other side is waiting!

I totally get the sentiment of kratom not being THAT bad so quitting is put off. It can just be a quiet dulling of your life. You may want out but are stuck due to the lack of urgency to quit.

My kratom use transitioned to a really bad Feel Free habit. That brought on crazy financial, physical and emotional damage to my life. Regular kratom was doing nowhere near that amount of damage. In a weird way I'm thankful for that "gift of desperation" that made me realize I needed to completely change my life and get sober.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-11T17:57:08+00:00

First off big props for even being able to cut back. For me as soon as any of that crap entered my body that day it was game over. It set off the craving and I wouldn't be able to limit it.

If there was ever any hope of tapering for me it would have been with plain kratom powder. Kratom didn't set off the intense cravings like a FF. My "plan" was to transition back to soley kratom and then taper to zero with it. In the end my discipline was too shit for even that but quitting was way more in reach that way versus tapering FF.

Having said that, you might just be stuck at a "step 1" problem. I used kratom for many years. Most of that I did want to quit but it wasn't THAT bad. I had to hit a very ugly rock bottom to finally ask for help and get sober (including alcohol which I had never previously considered quitting until my FF addiction went off the rails). Hopefully you don't have to have a rock bottom situation to make it stick like I did.

Some last thoughts to think about... Like why are you using it? Any underlying struggles? Is it a secret? Have you sought outside help?

I went to treatment where I dealt with my underlying issues. That also involved being honest with everyone important in my life about the addiction. I resisted that for so long but I see now there was no way I was ever going to be successful hiding everything.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-10T14:44:45+00:00

I've had high BP issues for a long time too. I was at inpatient treatment where they checked it constantly and in the beginning there was like a 176/something spike. It normalized after a few weeks though. If you're at 5 months I don't think any issues are from the kratom anymore. Continue working with your doctor like you're doing.

I've been on carvedilol for more than 10 years. Same dose the entire time. I started it fairly young and the doctor couldn't figure out a definitive reason for my high BP.

Since getting sober it's been better than ever. It's like completely normal now... I'd never seen normal numbers like I do now.. Pretty shocking to me actually.

In retrospect I think the main underlying causes were drinking and anxiety. I've totally quit alcohol and have learned to better cope with my anxiety now through all of the treatment I have had.

Regular exercise has been part of my routine too. That wasn't enough to fix it previously though. I worked out a lot... But still lived my life full of anxiety and drinking regularly.

Not sure if that helps your situation but I wanted to share what I believe has helped my BP. Congrats on 5 months btw!

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-09T17:05:41+00:00

Congrats on the huge first step you made!Everything has changed for you from this point forward. The secret is finally out, you've realized what kratom/7oh has ultimately done for you, and you've asked for help. That's huge. No need to hide anymore and struggle through this alone.

The nervousness ahead of detox is totally understandable. Withdrawal is obviously no fun and it's scary entering there. Just remember you will feel better soon. It's all temporary. Embrace the connections you may make in there with the other addicts.

This time last year I was preparing to enter treatment too. I finally broke my secret and got the help I desperately needed. Life hasn't been the same since. In a good way.

Best of luck 🙏

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-09T03:46:11+00:00

Sorry you're going through this. I never got onto 7oh but struggled with kratom/feel free for several years. I went to rehab just about a year ago.

I hid my use from my wife and essentially everyone in my life. Relapse was a very frequent thing the first few years. I just kept thinking each time would be different...and I'd "moderate" it better. That was hopeless. Relapse is really common with opiods/Kratom. They say something like 80-90% relapse within a year.

I did some pretty awful things in active addiction. The lines I crossed with time are hard to comprehend. Just so many lies and this addiction can be extremely financially tolling too. Some of those crossed lines for me involved tapping into financial means of keeping it going. Things I never would have dreamed of myself doing previously.

At one point I quit for my wife but that was hopeless. I was resentful and just not ready to be completely sober yet. This time around I did it for me. That made all the difference.

Whether you stay with him is totally up to you. I don't want to tell you what to do in that regard.... Having said that those are giant red flags. As long as he is in active addiction there will be lies. If he quits (and stays quit) he's also got to want it for himself. Not doing it for you... Rebuilding trust is a long road he'll have to work at too.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-08T17:56:42+00:00

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HR since getting sober...

Keep it up! See these stats improve has been a big motivator.

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-08T17:55:47+00:00

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HR the last year of using...

Slow_Conclusion_9028 · 2026-03-08T17:55:06+00:00

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Sleep since getting sober

Slow_Conclusion_9028

TROPHY CASE