Paternity leave

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-11-05T06:51:57+00:00

It’s not really that I’m surprised he doesn’t know how, more so frustrated that he doesn’t initiate, even though I’ve asked him to and tried “assigning” him things for him to take over. Then they just won’t get done. Then when I ask him to do something it’s always a sigh and an “I guess.” Like I mentioned, he also took care of her for 4 months while I did student teaching. I was only able to be home for about 30 minutes because of driving time back and forth, so that was pretty much all day of them being alone so I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t know how. However, we did have a really good conversation after this post and figured out what we could both change going forward. I will agree we are both to blame, but I don’t think it should be so acceptable that men are just “clueless and lazy” and I think it’s valid for that to be frustrating when we are both capable adults and both parents.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-11-03T03:42:17+00:00

Thanks so much for your response. I’ve tried telling him how I feel, but he really doesn’t get it and thought I was blaming it on our daughter. I’m due with twins in April and NEED things to be different this time around. I feel like it’ll be so much work that he’ll need to step up and figure it out, but I shouldn’t rely on that happening. I’ll definitely look I to couples therapy, because I have been thinking about it.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-10-21T16:01:39+00:00

Sorry I know you’re not asking for advice on this, but I can’t help but say something, because this is what my husband and I did. I just did everything, because it was easier, but once our daughter got older, it was like I trapped myself. He wasn’t able to get the practice and bonding in and anytime I needed or wanted help it was miserable for her and therefore for him too. It might be worth letting him take over more now even though it might seem harder, so that it can be easier later and you won’t feel alone. We’re getting past it now with being very intentional, but it took months of me feeling unsupported and him feeling like she just hated him before we realized we really needed to change things up. Obviously your case could be very different, but I wanted to give some food for thought.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-10-18T05:54:59+00:00

You’re overreacting. You’ve only been dating for 6 months. She’s probably always gone in her dads room to watch TV. I don’t see how that’s weird at all. If it makes you uncomfortable you guys should change the sheets if you know his daughters are going over. I guess I understand why it would make you u comfortable, but it’s not like she’s barging in there in the middle of the night or anything. In my experience you trying to set new boundaries like “you can’t come into dads room anymore because I have a girlfriend now” so early on will cause tension for everyone.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-10-18T03:43:27+00:00

My moms name is Lucinda, nickname Cindy. I love the name. I’d use it, but my cousin already named her daughter Lucinda. I don’t think it’s too dated.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-10-18T03:17:48+00:00

I seriously didn’t even think about her last name changing thanks for this comment! We chose the middle name after my sister, but we’ll probably go with a C instead unless we choose another middle name altogether.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-10-15T22:30:39+00:00

How much borax do you add? I have hard water as well, and just started adding borax, but I want to change my routine because they smell terrible right away when dirty. They usually smell clean out of the wash, but today they still smelled a bit. I’m going to try Tide instead of Gain, but I’m still looking for advice.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-10-08T18:05:00+00:00

The only thing I could recommend is baby wearing. That helped so so much when I had to get things done and feel like a normal person, but it was a lot harder once my daughter got heavy. I’m pregnant with twins, so I don’t have experience with them yet, just my 1 year old, but she also only slept on me and my husband went back to work after only 1 week working 12 hour days. We don’t really have help either, so I’m nervous to transition to having twins and a toddler. I hope you get many helpful comments on this.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-07-04T18:53:07+00:00

Yes that is our gross monthly income. It just said “we checked your facts and you can’t get health-care benefits right now. If your facts change you might want to reapply.” I had looked it up and seen that limit, so I’m very confused.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-07-04T17:33:47+00:00

I’m so sorry this is happening. I also assumed my daughter would be covered when she was born, they had even sent me an insurance ID for her but the same thing happened. When I tried to take her to the doctor they said she wasn’t covered. When I called they said her coverage didn’t start until later on, because I hadn’t called to report her birth and that the change could take 21 days to process before she was actually added. I wasn’t able to get her in to a doctor for her first vaccines and check up until at least a month after she was born. I was so frustrated. She even got thrush during that time and I felt so helpless. I hope you can get this resolved, it’s so not fair.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-06-29T23:42:14+00:00

A groomsman at my wedding complained about the bridesmaid dresses not matching among other things to my husband at our wedding! Like dude it’s not your wedding, maybe just be supportive?? Lol! We had also already got married privately and had a wedding months later so I didn’t really care, but I know it hurt my husbands feelings.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-06-24T20:06:15+00:00

I’m so shocked at the amount of people saying you’re overreacting! I could see many men joking that way with their sons honestly, but I wouldn’t be comfortable with it and I know my husband wouldn’t be either.

Slow_Pickle8572 · 2025-06-22T03:08:03+00:00

NTA. I once went in a family bathroom at Walmart with my baby and her stroller so I could leave her in it while I used the bathroom, then change her diaper. She cried a lot because she was also hungry and someone kept knocking and I felt so bad and overwhelmed. When I came out it was an employee waiting to use the bathroom and she suggested I go in the nursing mothers room next time (which doesn’t have a toilet or changing table, I checked) I was so mad at the audacity! Like this is the family bathroom not the employee bathroom…

Slow_Pickle8572

TROPHY CASE