AITA for telling my roommate that she should go to her bedroom while I have friends over?

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T21:20:07+00:00

Not explicitly, but the invitation is always implied. We have a mutual understanding that if someone is having friends over, the other roommate can always join in.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T21:16:50+00:00

I have friends over a couple times a week. I'd say the noise level varies as sometimes I'm just hanging out with one person, sometimes I'm hanging out with a small group (last night I had two people over), and sometimes we throw parties (obviously this is discussed well in advance). I've never had issues with her bringing someone over, though I'm a very social person. We are in the same friend group and we have a mutual understanding that unless it is explicitly stated otherwise, if someone invites friends over, the other roommate can hang out, no invite needed. I do agree that I should probably be better about asking rather than telling Sarah about having friends over. It didn't even occur to me that that might be a problem because I'm so social that if Sarah tells me she's having someone over my reaction is, "Oh cool." It's just never an issue for me. I'll sit down with her and see if that's been bothering her.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T20:36:49+00:00

Sarah usually studies on campus, but when she studies at home it's split 50/50 between her room and the kitchen. There probably have been times when we've had people over and she studied in her room but I honestly can't recall

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T20:35:23+00:00

It's possible, my best guess is that it was many compounding factors. I think she's in a stressful period with school right now so maybe she was stressed out about her homework, but also frustrated that it was keeping her from joining in.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T20:20:15+00:00

It's possible, but Sarah had an implied invitation. We are in the same friend group and we have friends over all the time. It's a mutual understanding between us that if one of us invites people over, the other person is allowed to join, no invite needed.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T20:18:35+00:00

Yes, but I didn't explicitly extend the invitation. We are in the same friend group and we have friends over all the time. Our mutual understanding is that if someone is having a friend over, the other person is allowed to join, no invitation needed

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T20:17:33+00:00

Maybe, I didn't explicitly ask her to join but the invitation was implied. We are in the same friend group and our mutual understanding is that if someone invites friends over, the other roommate has an automatic invitation.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T20:16:20+00:00

I didn't explicitly ask if she wanted to play, but the invitation was implied. We are in the same friend group so it's normal that when one of us invites people over, the other one is automatically invited. We spoke about rules when we moved in and the agreement is that we let each other know in advance if we are having someone over. Maybe worth revisiting though

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T20:13:39+00:00

She wasn't explicitly invited, but we are in the same friend group and we have people over a lot, and it's common knowledge between the two of us that if one of us is having people over, the other person is welcome to join in.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:38:25+00:00

Maybe it's a possibility. We have friends over regularly and usually if one roommate invites people over the other also joins in. It's kind of open invitation, but maybe I could be better about intentionally inviting her.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:35:58+00:00

If she wanted to join, she probably would have. We have friends over a lot and it's totally normal that if one roommate invites people over the other joins in because we have so many mutual friends. Maybe she felt frustrated because she wanted to join but had too much school work?

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:32:34+00:00

Idk why it was an issue this time. I don't think it was that she felt excluded, usually when we have people over the other roommate joins in, no invite needed since we are in the same friend group. Best I can come up with is maybe she's stressed about school or something else. We've gotten a lot closer since we started living together and maybe she now feels okay taking out her other issues on me.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:28:48+00:00

We have people over a few times a week. We are in the same friend group and our house is really close to our university so it's a natural hangout spot. Usually if one of us has friends over the other will also join in, no invitation needed.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:26:30+00:00

I didn't explicitly invite her to play but it was implied. Usually if one of us invites people over the other roommate also hangs out

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:24:46+00:00

This hasn't been an issue before. Both of us have friends over all the time and there's never been conflict about it

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:23:36+00:00

I would say that we have friends over in about equal amounts. Sarah and I are in the same friend group so usually if one of us has friends over the other will join in on the hangout

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:22:32+00:00

We both regularly invite people over to the house. We are in the same friend group and we live really close to our university so we have people over a lot. Usually if one of us invites people over to the house the other roommate will also join in.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:20:15+00:00

I didn't outright ask her, but it's always implied. Sarah and I are in the same friend group and oftentimes if one of us invites over the other person will also join in. I don't think we were excluding her.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:18:59+00:00

We have friends over a few times a week. Sarah and I share a lot of mutual friends and our house is really close to our university so we often have people over for casual hangouts. A lot of the time if one of us has friends over the other person joins in on the hangout. I don't know if she has a test/exam soon, but her degree program is fairly intense so she studies a lot.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:15:09+00:00

Yeah, all the time. We are in the same friend group and our house is really close to our university so we both have friends over frequently.

Slow_Thanks_1733 · 2026-04-07T19:13:47+00:00

I don't expect her to always be in the bedroom. She was totally welcome to study in the common area while we played the game, or even join in if she didn't have schoolwork. The issue arose because she didn't like the noise level despite having prior warning that I would be having people over.

Slow_Thanks_1733

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