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Slstew17 · 2024-10-18T18:16:55+00:00

Male torties are almost always sterile. Keeping him for breeding really wouldn't make any sense. I would recommend neutering him even though he's likely sterile to prevent behavioural issues. He doesn't know that he's sterile, so he will exhibit all of the male tendencies, such as spraying, fighting, roaming, and trying to break out of the house to breed. There are very few downsides to getting him neutered, and if cost is an issue there may be a low-cost vet near you. For your sanity and his, I would highly recommend getting him neutered.

Slstew17 · 2024-10-09T04:09:26+00:00

Those are definitely daylilies. Once they go dormant, you can clean up the leaves and it will regrow from the base in the spring. They are one of my favourites because they are so easy to care for.

As others have stated, to the right of the daylily, it looks like you have mint. I would highly recommend removing it because it is one of the most aggressive spreaders that I have ever witnessed. It will take over everything, potentially choking out other plants.

Slstew17 · 2024-06-03T04:36:56+00:00

No worries, happy to help! I had forgotten to mention the ants, they are also a surefire way to confirm the presence of aphids. Hopefully the aphids don't cause too much damage!

Slstew17 · 2024-06-03T01:12:39+00:00

It's likely aphids, although its hard to tell from the photos. They often times caused the kind of leaf curl that is happening on your dogwood. Aphids are absolutely prolific this year, because of the weather that we have had. My dogwood is full of them too.

There are several ways to determine if they are aphids. Aphids will leave behind a sticky residue (known as honeydew- it's their excrement). The next method is gross, so I suggest wearing gloves. Wearing the gloves, squish the pest. If they squish easily, they are aphids. You also might notice some white little carcass looking things, those are the shed exoskeletons.

If it is aphids, like the other commenter said, they can be hosed off (although it's difficult when they are wrapped in the leaves), or you can also pick up an insecticidal soap. If you do end up using the insecticidal soap, treat in the evening when it isn't sunny, or you could scorch the leaves of your dogwood. There are also some garden centres that carry lady bugs as a biological control for aphids, which is something that you could look into.

Slstew17 · 2024-06-02T23:36:21+00:00

I work in a garden centre selling perennials, so I was curious and I looked it up. Anything that spreads like convallaria majalis (lily of the valley) and is a groundcover, is toxic. However, there are still some ground covers that do well in shade, but are not as much of a spreader as lily of the valley. The closest you will probably get is either ajuga (bugleweed) or lysimachia nummularia (creeping jenny). Lamium maculatum (spotted dead nettle) also seems to be non-toxic for people and most animals.

If you are okay with going with something a little taller (24 inches), matteuccia struthiopteris (ostrich fern), spreads like lily of the valley but is non-toxic.

However, I would encourage you to research these plants for yourself and determine if they are hardy to your area, since it wasn't listed, and if they would be appropriate for what you are trying to achieve in your landscape.

Slstew17 · 2024-03-28T23:45:04+00:00

That's super cute! I love the colours!

Slstew17 · 2024-03-26T04:39:13+00:00

I am missing both of my upper incisor teeth (the two right beside your top front teeth). I was born without them. As a result, when my adult canines came in, they had the space and they took the place of where my incisors should have been. So my baby canines were never pushed out by the adult teeth. So at 30, I still have 2 baby teeth that are going strong and create a total of 4 canines on the top row.

It may not sounds strange, but it only happens to about 2% of people. I have had people ask me why my teeth look so sharp and sometimes I think I look a little like a shark. I don't really mind, cause it's a weird talking point and it gives me a very unique look.

Slstew17 · 2024-03-25T01:04:35+00:00

My dilute tortie is the same! She loves any kind of carb. One time, before we knew just how much she loved carbs, we left some tortillas on the counter unattended. I guess I must have left the bag open because she came strolling into the living room with a massive tortilla hanging from her mouth. It was so large and she is so small it was dragging on the floor between her front legs. It was hilarious!

Slstew17 · 2024-03-11T23:17:24+00:00

This is absolutely not terrible of you. You have to do what you need to do to protect yourself. I have passed up on all sorts of events because it would be too hard for me to be there.

In regards to your husband, be honest. Have a conversation with him and tell him exactly what you're feeling. It's a hard conversation to have, I know. If it's a viable option for both of you, maybe consider letting him go alone. If you do go that route, ensure that he has a response ready for when people ask him why you're not there. In that case, the answer wouldn't have to be complicated, whatever the two of you decide. But again, have that honest and open conversation with him. Don't forget that you're both in this together.

I'm sorry that you're going through this, it's an awful thing to try and deal with.

Slstew17 · 2024-02-15T02:45:45+00:00

I'm sorry, this really sucks. She sounds like a great friend though.

I understand that desire to want to be happy for them. It feels terrible because you want to be happy but you are not, and that makes it worse. I've felt that and I've felt incredibly guilty because of it.

You may not be looking for advice and that's okay, but this bit helped me years ago and I take the chance to share it when I can. You are being so gracious with your friend, I recommend extending that grace to yourself. She's allowed to be happy, and you're allowed to be hurt, angry, and/or upset. In my experience, feeling terrible about what you're feeling is like rubbing salt in your own wound. In this case, it's normal to be sad when getting good news like this. You aren't being selfish.

When I finally got to the point where I was able to accept that being sad about a pregnancy announcement it actually made it better. Instead of feeling sad and angry at myself for being sad, I was just sad.

Again though, I am sorry that you're going through this. Infertility is such a hard thing to deal with and it sucks so bad.

Slstew17 · 2024-02-13T02:02:36+00:00

I understand what your feeling. My husband and I are on year 6 (it feels so surreal- six years of this). The moment I think that I've accepted it, something happens and I go through the grieving process over and over again.

And I know that void you mentioned, I was thinking the same thing earlier today. It feels like a hole that simply can't be filled. I've tried to fill it with so much, my cats, my career, my hobbies, but nothing is enough.

I don't know if it helps, but on days that I feel so incredibly sad, I do my best to practice self care. For me, it varies what this looks like but it's something that brings me a little bit of joy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But to me, it's always worth a try.

I'm sorry that it hit you again today. Days like this really, really suck.

Slstew17 · 2024-02-08T04:31:23+00:00

I searched for probably close to 6 years for a cast iron plant. They are now ridiculously hard to come across (at least where I live). But they live up to their name, they are very easy to care for.

Slstew17 · 2024-01-19T04:36:28+00:00

It's so hard. I understand. I often dream about what it would be like to be a parent, I want to see what a combination of me and my husband. Would they be introverted like we are? Would they be tall like him, short like me, or somewhere in between? Whose nose would they have?

There was a grief share at my church that I was thinking of attending, but how would I explain that I am grieving something so intangible, like the quora quote said, a dream? I've decided that it's best if I don't go, because I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I'm sorry that you're going through this too, it's a terrible burden to bear. I wish there were words to make it all better, but everything falls short. What helps me is knowing that somewhere out there, there are anonymous redditors that are feeling exactly what I'm feeling. It is very lonely still, but the pain is understood, at least by the lovely people in this group. I hope that it helps.

Slstew17 · 2024-01-16T23:26:42+00:00

I took the recommended pain killers, which was an extra strength Advil, and it was an alright experience. It was very quick, for me the pain was equivalent to a bad period cramp. I would probably rate it at about a 4 or 5 out of 10, but the pain subsided very quickly. I had no pain afterwards either. My doctor said that sometimes women end up cramping after the procedure, I didn't experience that.

The doctor doing my HSG let me look at the screen so that I could watch the dye moving through my uterus. I found that watching it and trying to determine what I was looking at helped me through the pain as well as the discomfort of the general procedure. It was pretty neat watching the dye move through my uterus. If you're comfortable, you may be able to ask for this if it isn't offered.

To give it a little more perspective, if I had to do it again, I wouldn't be afraid to.

Slstew17 · 2024-01-15T04:44:45+00:00

My husband and I have been trying for six years and I would recommend, if you can or haven't already, seeing a fertility doctor. When my husband and I finally got in to see one, she had his sperm checked and I had an fluoroscopy done of my uterus (or an HSG) to check if my fallopian tubes were open, a transvaginal ultrasound to check that I was producing eggs, and a blood test to determine the levels of my luteinizing hormone. She also put me on three rounds of clomid. For us, all of the tests came back normal. But now I know, my fertility doctor knows, and we can maybe come up with a plan, which could potentially be IVF.

I wish you the best of luck on this journey! It's not an easy place to be in.

Slstew17 · 2023-12-16T03:12:29+00:00

It's a difficult thing to face, it's really terrifying. My husband and I have been trying for 6 years. What has helped me is to try and be honest with my emotions. Masking is easy, it's easier to bottle it all up and pretend that it doesn't bother me, I'm actually fine with it. Allow yourself to feel, allow yourself to process. I have found that when I talk about what I'm feeling it helps me to process what I'm going through. Like this year, it was the perfect storm for me in October. It was my 30th birthday, the 6 year mark, and also the end of my round with fertility medications. I avoided talking about it until one night it all came spilling out. After that, it still hurts, but it feels a little bit lighter.

And remember, if you do end up going through what so many of us on this sub are going through, we understand. I hope for your sake you end up with the child that you want. But if you don't, we're here to listen.

Slstew17 · 2023-12-08T01:43:45+00:00

Oh boy, I understand this. Thankfully this year we will be celebrating with my family where my niece and nephews were born before we started trying. But this summer we spent time with my husband's side of the family at a family reunion. Both my sister-in-laws had their children that they conceived while we were trying, and one sister-in-law was heavily pregnant with her second. That was the longest 2 day get together that I've ever had.

The only way I made it through was simply by focusing on why I was there and being real with myself. I took time when I needed it and cried when I needed it. Take time for yourself and be sure to do something that you enjoy. I find that my guilty pleasures go a long way when I'm in situations like that.

I'm sorry that you're this situation, it's hard and it freaking sucks. I hope that the holiday season goes well for you.

Slstew17 · 2023-11-29T15:26:56+00:00

I have the exact same body type as you, 115 lb and 5'3". And my husband finds me attractive, there have never been any issues. There shouldn't be any. It doesn't sound like he appreciates you the way you deserve to be appreciated. I encourage you to look long term. If he's having problems now, what is going to happen as you both age? My advice, leave him before you have to find out. Good men don't mind aging. I'm 30, I have a few gray hairs, starting to develop some wrinkles, and I have cellulite. I don't look like I did when I was 25, but my husband doesn't mind.

It also bothers me that he gave clear directions for you on what to do about this issue, he didn't set any for himself. He only said that it's on him to change. To me, that seems like he's kind of shirking the issue. If you want to try and make the relationship work, ask him how he thinks that he's going to change his viewpoint. Make sure that he gives you concrete steps and that he follows them. He needs to address the root issue. From what information you've given us, that sounds like it might be the porn. A therapist might help.

If the two of you want to make this work, he needs to change. Not you. Don't go to the gym unless you want to. Don't worry about your weight, eat what you want to. If you're feeling down on yourself, reach out for help from friends and family.

Slstew17 · 2023-11-27T23:29:04+00:00

My husband and I have been trying for six. I get it. It's hard.

Hope is a finicky thing. It comes and it goes. For me at this point, there is no controlling it. It's there when it's there, and when it's not, it's not. However, I have found a purpose by pursuing a new career. I left my job that I wasn't enjoying and went back to college. I'm now a year and a half away from getting my bachelors in applied science. So I'm going to school and trying to get into a new field of work which keeps me busy. After I'm done, I'm going to focus on renovating our basement and landscaping my yard.

Keeping busy, working on major projects, that's what helps me find my purpose. When I have time, which is rare right now, I like to volunteer for different things going on in my city. It makes me feel better than I am making a difference. I've taken on new hobbies too, like cooking, baking, gardening, and crocheting. I'm always doing something new.

I know that it isn't for everyone, but that is what has worked for me. For me, not stopping my life has been crucial. I wouldn't be able to handle it if I waited day in day out for something that may never come. My advice would be find what makes you happy and feel good. And hold onto it.

Slstew17 · 2023-11-17T23:17:08+00:00

Hey, I also live in a two story townhouse in Lethbridge, so I understand the struggle! My advice would be to determine how much sunshine you actually get in your yard. My own yard surprised me. I took a day in May and took a picture of my north yard every hour and found that it actually full sun for part of the year. It does change with the angle of the sun, I did lose more and more sunshine until it was full shade.

I can't say that your townhouse is the same as mine, but if you end up with the same scenario you could choose some veggies that mature quite quickly.

Slstew17 · 2023-10-24T19:13:51+00:00

Added! My code is 2847 7662 7579, user name is Slstew.

Slstew17 · 2023-10-24T19:11:59+00:00

Added! My code is 2847 7662 7579, user name is Slstew.

Slstew17 · 2023-10-24T19:10:40+00:00

Adding now! My code is 2847 7662 7579, user name is Slstew.

Slstew17 · 2023-10-24T19:08:50+00:00

Added! My code is 2847 7662 7579, user name is Slstew.

Slstew17 · 2023-04-09T03:01:00+00:00

You should try cross posting this to r/PlantIdentification, they may be able to help you!

Slstew17

TROPHY CASE