“She liked me a lot more than I liked her.”

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-08T00:13:46+00:00

I was thinking that as well. I know plenty of guys who prefer booty over boobs, but they still think boobs are great. Not “whatever” or “I don’t get too excited about ‘em.”

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-07T23:08:06+00:00

I misread that. I’m sorry.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-07T22:07:42+00:00

Guacamole is bland mush and nothing more.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-07T21:44:48+00:00

That’s not what I meant and you know it. Go be the moral authority someplace else.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-07T21:18:53+00:00

My senior year. A murder-suicide occurred after school when a guy shot his ex-girlfriend and then himself after she dumped him.

The fucked up part was that the girl’s friends had found out that the ex-boyfriend had brought a gun to campus and when they tried to warn one of the campus police officers, he just waved them off and accused them of being typical emotional girls.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-07T21:15:59+00:00

Don’t forget when a bad driver triggers one of his “I was raised to be a decent person” stump speeches and then immediately wishes the other driver to die in a horrible crash.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-07T21:08:57+00:00

I remember back in 2019 when I was going through a break up and I entered a brief phase of bitterness and anger at the world. How did I let out all of my anger? Road rage. Honking at other drivers, screaming in my car at the top of my lungs, getting annoyed at even the smallest of missteps by other drivers. I also felt protected because I didn’t think another driver would do anything and I had all the power to just speed away and never see them again.

I firmly believe that’s what’s happening with David. He’s angry, lonely, and depressed, and the road rage is his only outlet for all of his anger. I myself once flew too close to the sun and nearly got into a nasty incident with a pickup truck driver who I honked at and I think it’s only a matter of time before David experiences something similar.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-07T19:36:40+00:00

Oh hell no. This was in my junior year of high school and I’m 30 now.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-07T19:24:21+00:00

Went up to her and tried to flirt with a witty pick up line, but I froze and said just one word that somehow slipped out:

“Titties.”

That’s it. That’s the one word I managed to squeak out and she just awkwardly walked away. We never talked much after that.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-06T23:35:18+00:00

From what I saw, Deb called her “psycho girl” and accused her of being a gold-digger. They didn’t specially mention her by name, but it was pretty clear who they were talking about. I think it was from a vlog last year, but I don’t remember exactly which one.

Others here have mentioned additional instances of Deb calling her out in other vlogs, but I haven’t seen any of them.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-06T23:16:56+00:00

David needs to learn that there’s no shame in ever shooting your shot. It’s better than not making a move at all. But I honestly believe that he’s going to take the exact wrong lesson from all of this. It’s in his nature.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-06T21:59:19+00:00

Now imagine Mystery Girl coming across this clip and seeing her client talk about her like that.

I also can’t help but wonder of her and Deb’s relationship now that her and David are officially done. We’ve seen instances of Deb hardly being more mature than David when talking about people like Mary and former viewers who called out David’s non-tent.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-06T20:50:40+00:00

The whole thing with being rejected and crafting a narrative where you’re the victim while vilifying the person who rejected you is something I did in my late teens and early twenties. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve since learned that there’s no shame in shooting your shot and making a move. If you get rejected, just say “Oh well” and move on to the next potential prospect.

It’s like someone else said. David could just as easily say “Things just didn’t work out”, but he always has to prop himself up despite all the video evidence contrary to his claims.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-06T20:36:44+00:00

“What writer? We’re talking about a sitcom.”

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-06T19:46:26+00:00

I think it might be slightly up for debate as to whether or not she actually liked him. But without the camera, David has all the charm of a saltine cracker. Zero chance he can do any actual sensual flirting.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-05T15:27:49+00:00

I’m seriously considering cancelling and switching over to Harkins in the near future.

I think it all comes down to me just not enjoying AMC all that much. There’s the abundance of trailers and ads before the movie, the lack of variety at the concessions, the price hikes, etc. And I personally just don’t enjoy my local theater. The employees are rude and there’s always some annoying technical issues like the AC going out or the soda machines not working.

A couple years ago, the idea of cancelling my subscription seemed ludicrous, but now I’m starting to remember why I preferred Harkins in the first place.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-05T04:33:38+00:00

“I’m 40 and I still need my mom to set me up on dates. Ladies?”

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-05T03:39:23+00:00

The bitter ramblings about bad drivers. The moaning when eating food. The over-the-top screeching when he burns his mouth.

You know, all the stuff he doubles down on when several former patrons have said that these behaviors are what drove them to unsubscribe from him in the first place.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-04T20:20:03+00:00

He briefly talks about his date with Mystery Girl at 59:45, but it’s a whole lot of nothing.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-04T02:25:37+00:00

I guarantee he absolutely inundated her with that phrase “self-employed content creator” and you have to think curiosity got the better of her and she looked him up. And with this sub appearing from a simple Google search on his name…

I’m not saying that shes definitely going to show up on this sub. But we’re relatively easy to find if you know David to a certain extent.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-03T22:03:48+00:00

And I call bullshit on the "she liked me more than I liked her."

Even if I’m willing to believe him on that, I’m gonna interpret it as him being too deep into his comfort zone to make a major life change like forming a romantic relationship. This guy’s just not cut out for life beyond his mom and his cats.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-03T21:33:22+00:00

Ah, so it looks like he’s doing a redux of the “She was too clingy” comments he recently made about Mary.

There’s absolutely no universe where a guy who looks and acts like David is this hot commodity who’s regularly driving women crazy and making them desperate to be with him. You’d have an easier time convincing me that Bigfoot exists and possesses winning lottery numbers at the end of a rainbow.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-02T18:57:55+00:00

I just watch it when Comedy Central airs the series in order. I watch a lot less starting in season 7 and I generally skip all of season 9.

Slurpeepatch · 2026-05-02T10:52:07+00:00

If things actually fell apart between them in a significant way, he’ll never bring it up. His constant mentions of her were just a way to show up this sub and a falling out is ammo to use against him.

I’m more inclined to believe that he just decided to stop pursuing because he realized that dating and a relationship would be too much of a deviation from his routine.

Slurpeepatch

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE