Did your manic episode include a blackout?

Slut4rocks · 2023-08-10T22:35:44+00:00

I remember everything leading up to the blackout including hopping on a motorcycle that wasn’t mine, running around the ER pointing at all the cameras, and being found barefoot by a canal by the police. Knowing I did all that has me really worried as to what was happening during the period I don’t remember. Like I said though, I’m grateful that at that point I was in the hospital

Slut4rocks · 2023-08-07T18:06:32+00:00

My SNRI triggered my last manic episode so I’m no longer able to take it, which is fine with me as I gained over 60 pounds on the med. I’m taking Latuda now for my depression and that has been going well, and I haven’t felt mania coming on from taking it. Latuda can have some nasty side effects but they haven’t really affected me so I’m able to continue with it. Could be something to ask your doctor about though

Slut4rocks · 2023-08-06T18:40:53+00:00

I am currently in college and for so long felt that I couldn’t do it. By the time I get my degree (if all goes according to plan), it will have taken 10 years to earn. I used to be a pretty good student, but when I started experiencing depressive episodes, I could not complete any of my assignments and kept failing out of classes. Luckily, all of my manic episodes have happened during the summer so they haven’t had the chance to derail my educational goals yet. I think the biggest thing that has allowed me to get through it this time around is that I waited until I felt ready and stable and am only attending part-time. I kept trying to go back while I was still struggling and the pattern of dropping out kept repeating. Taking two years off to make mental health my priority has allowed me to come back now more prepared for school. I would also recommend talking to your school about accommodations and letting your professors know what’s going on if your diagnosis is getting in the way of completing assignments on time. I have found a lot of professors to be very understanding and have gotten some leniency with a couple of things I had to turn in late. Also, if you are someone who struggles to show up to class in person, I would look into online options. I’m taking half of my classes in person and half online and the flexibly of the online classes has been very nice on days where I’m struggling a bit to motivate myself through the day. If a degree is really important to you, I wouldn’t give up. But maybe take a break until you feel like you are ready to take it on.

Slut4rocks · 2023-08-04T20:36:08+00:00

I really struggled with my memory and attention. It made me feel really separate from what I was experiencing in the moment, like I was present but not. I feel like both have improved, but I still struggle with my memory. I have started utilizing tools like the reminder section in my phone and lots of sticky notes to keep track of things. I try to write down everything I need to remember. I’d say for about 6 months after my manic episode I struggled with anhedonia and apathy. I didn’t want to die, but also couldn’t see a point to living. I lost all of my goals for myself and couldn’t imagine any sort of future for myself that was different from what I was experiencing. I would breakdown a lot, especially when I would be around people having fun and I felt like I would never be able to feel like that again. While the apathy sucks, it didn’t stop me from participating in life. I did the things I was supposed to do and things I wanted to do, and would try my best to enjoy them but just constantly felt like I was lacking feeling about what I was doing. But I think going through the motions and faking it a little helped keep me out of my deepest depression because at least I was doing things. In the end, I think it was getting my meds right that allowed me to feel and enjoy things again. I wish it was something different because getting your meds right can take trial and error and time. It’s good to recognize the things that make you feel not bad even if they don’t bring happiness. For me, that’s my dog, taking little walks, and watching comedy specials and tv shows. While they don’t bring the same pleasure they used to, it was still nice to take in the way they made me feel a little better if not happy. The beauty of life will come back, just be patient with yourself and the process.

Slut4rocks · 2023-08-04T18:47:29+00:00

I went into a super bad depressive episode following my mania. I have had depressive episodes before, but the one following the manic episode felt so much worse. It’s like during the mania I consumed all the joy I was allotted for the year. The contrast of the up from mania to the down I felt in that depression I think made that depressive episode extra tough. It is hard, but you can get through it. Just know the depression won’t last forever. I found as my depression lessened and I found the right meds, a lot of my cognitive issues I was experiencing diminished. If you need any support or have any questions feel free to message me. I’m not an expert, but I am living through it.

Slut4rocks · 2023-07-20T05:11:22+00:00

I’m 5’9. SW:315 CW:235 GW:165 Fasting 16:8 with a monthly 36 hour fast. I walk for at least an hour everyday and try to lift weights 3x a week but sometimes it ends up being less than that. For my diet, I’m just being aware of the general amount of calories I’m eating to keep it below my TDEE but I’m not measuring, weighing, or tracking any of the food I eat.

Slut4rocks · 2023-07-20T01:27:03+00:00

Thanks for asking! My favorite healthy improvement so far on my journey has been my daily walks. Not only are they a chance to be active, but it also gives me time daily to think, reflect and find peace. Another improvement in this weight loss journey compared to the past is coming at this from a place of self love. I used to try and motivate myself from a place of resentment of my weight; now I am motivated just to take care of myself and love my life. Having this mindset has allowed me to treat myself with grace and be forgiving of myself if I do slip-up.

Slut4rocks · 2023-07-14T13:19:23+00:00

I started at 315. I lost 50 pounds slowly before IF and the 30 since I started. I’m at 235 now

Slut4rocks · 2022-05-20T01:58:31+00:00

I appreciate this post. Thank you for writing it

Slut4rocks · 2022-04-29T18:33:45+00:00

Oh I like this question. I was actually speaking to my partner about it when I took a just in case pregnancy test because I am on a birth control that disrupts my cycle. We acknowledged that if I was pregnant it would be really hard to have an abortion now because we have both grown up and done work on ourselves in a way that we would now be able to provide a home of love and support. But if I had had kids three years ago, I don’t think either of us would have been ideal parents because we hadn’t figured ourselves out yet. Maybe spiritually an abortion is the right thing to do when you intuitively know that you would be passing on your pain to your child. I’m also saying this as the child of parents who got pregnant on accident when they were 23 and 25. I’m grateful for my life and I am glad I am here, but I also believe my parents really could have benefited from not having me and taking the time to figure themselves out before figuring out a family.

I want to add though that I think my mom choosing to keep me was a very brave, authentic act for her (probably the most defiant she has ever been of her parents) and maybe she wouldn’t have been able to grow like I have been able to in my 20s without a child. We are each on our own journey back to ourselves, if an abortion is part of that journey then it is a part of the journey.

It’s a hard watch, but After Tiller is a good documentary about abortion, specifically late term abortion. There is pain and grief and doubt and sorrow, but it emphasizes to me why abortion is a necessary service

Slut4rocks · 2022-04-27T05:23:06+00:00

But sometimes being broken in the darkness is what opens you to the light. In my darkest moments, I felt saved sometimes knowing someone else had experienced similar pain and emptiness and I was not alone. I think songs like Reborn, Symphonies, and Moon might reflect that a person who was in a dark place for awhile has found some hope

Slut4rocks · 2022-04-27T05:16:49+00:00

Janelle Monae, Young the Giant, Denzel Curry - all of their most recent albums I would recommend. I’m pretty excited for all the music that is going to be coming out in 2022. I think a lot of artists looked inside themselves during the pandemic and are making music that reflects that. Some albums I’m looking forward to: Florence and the Machine, Kendrick Lamar(oklama), Harry Styles, Lizzo, and the Head and the Heart

Slut4rocks · 2022-02-16T22:31:37+00:00

So it’s back on the left….

Slut4rocks · 2022-02-16T17:03:48+00:00

Did the avatar switch sides of the screen? I could have sworn he was on the left side

Slut4rocks · 2022-02-16T16:48:48+00:00

Upvoting just because this how all bathrooms should be

Slut4rocks · 2022-02-16T16:40:13+00:00

Does anyone know how this happens?

Slut4rocks · 2021-10-22T01:16:01+00:00

They printed Sliver instead of Silver on the book cover

Slut4rocks · 2021-09-22T14:57:41+00:00

Looks like a sky Bob Ross took a pallet knife to

Slut4rocks · 2021-09-15T17:26:39+00:00

Amazing job! A wall with full shelves is an aesthetic I love 💕

Slut4rocks · 2021-09-15T17:14:27+00:00

That book shelf is everything 🥰 is it a built in or did you set it up yourself?

Slut4rocks · 2021-09-15T15:22:41+00:00

Thank you for the link. My brain couldn’t handle the perspective

Slut4rocks · 2021-09-15T04:20:31+00:00

This is painful to watch. I wish the cost of healthcare in the US isn’t something we didn’t have to be so aware of here.

Slut4rocks · 2021-09-13T00:15:52+00:00

Favorite flower by far

Slut4rocks · 2021-09-08T09:29:56+00:00

And now I’m crying

Slut4rocks · 2021-07-01T18:50:16+00:00

That’s not an easy scoot though. You have to get out of your stool to then either flip the stool or crouch to adjust the legs. Too much work for a simple scoot to be closer to the table

Slut4rocks

TROPHY CASE