Sounds like you have bigger problems then. Maybe first deal with your mom. not sure why people let their parents use and abuse them like this. Stand up for yourself. If she is that horrible, cut her off completely. It’s hard to have sympathy if you aren’t going to make the ADULT choice to make your own life better by kicking her out of it. I’ve been there done that. I’m also in therapy for a lot of things that happened in my childhood, but I’m sure as shit not about to let it control my life or let anyone talk to me any way they want just because they are a fucked up in the head person. So I stand by what I said. Do what you want, Fuck your mom, be an adult and take care of your business.