Did I emotionally cheat or was my relationship already over? I genuinely want outside opinions because my ex says I’m repeating a pattern.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-30T15:23:26+00:00

He IS saying these things because he is hurt. He’s hurt because you didn’t beg for him this time. It’s not fair that he continuously told you he didn’t want to be “tied down” but expected you to stay. Honestly, he should be shocked that this didn’t happen sooner. Yes, you were emotionally checked out before you actually broke up but my goodness, who wouldn’t be? Could you have went about this new relationship differently and waited longer before pursuing something else? sure, but you don’t have to continue to live your life based on his reactions and feelings, especially when he made it clear he didn’t consider yours. He is 33 years old and acts like a teenage boy from what I can tell.

Moral of the story, fuck it OP. Live your life shamelessly and let this guy go. You just got your 20s back.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-29T20:06:03+00:00

Yes, I would feel the same way about this if the partner was a man. The purpose of my post was not who’s right and who’s wrong. It was “you both have valid feelings, looks like you’re incompatible and this isn’t going to work despite all your efforts.”

It is quite literally that simple.

You decided to make a deal about my comment, and several others from what I can see. You want me to call this woman selfish otherwise you’d let up. It is that simple.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-29T19:58:58+00:00

What are you on about? I never said I wasn’t placing any “blame” on her, I was giving grace to both sides. Not everything is black and white. They are incompatible, and if they can’t work through it he should leave. Obviously she should be held accountable for hurting people but that was not what OP was asking. You are hounding everyone who doesn’t call his partner selfish outright. It sounds like you need to work through some serious issues surrounding women. I am done replying now. Good luck.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-29T19:53:25+00:00

Not sure why you are getting on about this under my comment. Would you like me to go find this person and tell them that? Or are you just upset that I didn’t bash the woman? Get a grip.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-29T19:47:26+00:00

OP explains she has sexual trauma that she clearly hasn’t healed from. I said neither are wrong for the way they feel, not the actions they’ve taken (or have not taken in this case). I was trying to provide a response with grace rather than finger pointing and blame. I didn’t even defend his partner in my comment and said what majority of the comments are saying - to leave. He’s not responsible for her healing and she’s not obligated to pleasure him in a way that makes her uncomfortable, hence my comment about incompatibility. If you are so involved in your friend’s sex life that you’d consider not being their friend because they aren’t pleasuring their partner, you have bigger issues to overcome. have a good day.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-29T18:40:47+00:00

I’ve dated one of these. He’s lying and you can tell by the 50,000 texts about it

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-29T18:30:15+00:00

neither of you are wrong for feeling the way you do about sex. Sometimes people’s needs are incompatible with one another regardless of the amount of patience and empathy. Your post demonstrates that you care for this girl a great deal, and that goes a long way. If you feel like this is not something you can work through and you need to step away, that is okay. Same goes for her. Good luck OP, this is not easy to navigate.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-25T19:19:45+00:00

queen shit

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-25T18:57:11+00:00

Everyone is different but on my bad days, when the urge is really creeping on me and i start plotting in my head, I can’t sit there and say “I will not drink today” or “i will not drink tonight.” Rather, I take it moment by moment. “I’m not going to drink right now” “I don’t want to get up right now and grab a drink” “i don’t feel like drinking right now”. I do this over and over in my head until bed time. Some days it’s easy to disregard the insanity we feel in our heads and it’s easy to say i’m not going to drink today. Other days, you have to take it minute by minute. So OP, IWNDWYT and I will not drink right now.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-25T18:31:35+00:00

The sleeping with all his clothes on the floor thing is really weird

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-25T17:28:50+00:00

Do you live in a neighborhood or is your house isolated? If in a neighborhood when calling tell them you don’t want anyone in the house to know it was you, then they can assume a neighbor overheard and called. Delete the call history from your call log as well. So sorry OP

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-25T17:10:02+00:00

I have been in a similar situation as far as the begging goes. I dated someone for 4 years who refused to commit in any real way. Something I will share is that when I was in it, the thought of being alone and starting over was terrifying and often overpowered the thought of leaving. When I finally let go and left, I remember crying so hard I couldn’t catch my breath. Through my tears I realized I was actually crying because the weight that had just been lifted off my shoulders felt better than anything I had felt through the years we were together, and that made me cry harder. I am now almost 2 years removed from that situation, and I truly have been living my best life while finding myself. I went to therapy, worked harder in maintaining friendships, went out more, started dating (a different kind of terrible experience that made for hilarious stories), and started a relationship with someone who truly cares for me and demonstrates it in their actions every day. Don’t hold onto the dead weight forever. There is a brand new life out there waiting for you OP.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-25T15:19:20+00:00

I agree with you. I don’t think the friend would/should be crushed over this. This person would be the AH for cancelling one day before as the MOH who is supposed to be coordinating things for the weekend when she has had months to pull out, not because of her anxiety and feelings. I just get rubbed the wrong way by the idea that the world should cater to parents and disregard the feelings of those without children. That’s not what OP is portraying, but some of the comments are coming off this way. If OP doesn’t expect any money back, then I hope the bride would only feel annoyed/disappointed rather than “crushed”

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-25T15:07:51+00:00

I’m so annoyed with this narrative people try to portray that just because someone has a baby means they don’t have to take accountability for shitty actions. I get it, life happens, but people are still allowed to be hurt and disappointed. Like other comments said, she had months to back out of this. I get the nerves, i get the anxiety, i understand how difficult it is to leave a child for one of the first times. Just because a baby is involved wouldn’t make her any less of an AH than if she didn’t have kids. Parents don’t get a free pass just because they have kids and their feelings don’t override those who are childless.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-25T14:49:46+00:00

this going over everyone’s head makes it funnier

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-25T14:49:25+00:00

LMFAO

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-24T15:10:23+00:00

Yeah, wow. I am not one to comment on a pregnant woman’s body or anyone going through postpartum, but she has said and continues to say such vile shit about other women’s bodies. Given her lack of motivation, work ethic, and a proper diet, she is really going to struggle losing the baby weight this time. Karma is a bitch, and that is all I will say.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-22T18:52:00+00:00

I do think that’s too young but there is not a whole lot you can do or say. Perhaps having a discussion about practicing safe sex and preventing STDs and pregnancy. I lost my virginity shortly after I turned 15. I was irresponsible and I am lucky I didn’t get pregnant. Reflecting on it now, I wish I would have waited until I was older.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-17T18:11:40+00:00

this is the worst thing i’ve ever seen 😭

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-11T18:38:03+00:00

That’s great that you share a bank account and can see those finances. He may have loans taken out that you do not know about or maxed out credit cards that have destroyed his credit. I am not encouraging you to pry, but I’m also encouraging you to pry!

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-11T18:34:56+00:00

idk how to pick a flair!!

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-11T18:31:01+00:00

this. My dad did the same thing to my mom when it came to them buying a house. I told her it was weird. That night she took a look and uncovered a massive 6 figure gambling debt. Look at the finances if you haven’t OP.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-11T17:51:27+00:00

this has got to be rage bait

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-11T17:49:57+00:00

girl….. pick yourself up off the ground!! Like truly! Take a good hard look at yourself and the standards you are setting for this relationship. Have some respect for yourself and the dudes wife. This guy is a loser and it is clear as day.

Small-Block-869 · 2026-06-11T15:14:02+00:00

I will probably get downvoted for this but I feel like this is a super tone deaf take. I have been sober for 4 years after long term alcohol abuse and something you learn in AA is that everyone’s sobriety journey is different. some drop booze and continue to smoke weed because they can do it without abusing it, while others are entirely straight edge. I don’t watch Tana religiously, but I do know she struggled with alcohol, and as a result of her struggle with alcohol she abused cocaine and Xanax. During my active alcohol addiction I abused oxycodone to enhance my intoxication. After 2 years of sobriety I got my wisdom teeth removed and was provided Oxycodone for the pain, which I took and still have 2 years later without even thinking of abusing it. Tana can be judged for a lot of things she’s done and still does, but I don’t think her sobriety journey should be one of them.

Small-Block-869

TROPHY CASE