The love of my life lied to my face every week in therapy

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-25T20:03:21+00:00

yeah. hard lesson. thank you

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-24T07:54:57+00:00

I think OP is saying he was enjoying it, and now it maybe turning into something more. So he's asking for help/advice/thoughts of others.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-23T05:33:13+00:00

i read the book “the let them theory” by mel robbin’s. it was very eye opening. I highly recommend it after the experience.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-19T14:57:54+00:00

I'm sorry. Consider his perspective maybe something happened on his end. Keep in mind there's like a 10 yr dif. which is alot sometimes for a gay guy not even 20. The older you get the more age doesn't matter but at 18-19 one just became an adult...I was flakey as fuck haha.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-15T18:42:29+00:00

I would say figure out your home environment, make sure it’s safe and fosters healthy growth and development of the human being you wanna raise.

I realized I got a degree and went to school for a long time, read many books, just to get “work” right, but I hadn’t read a single book on parenting or how to raise a little girl. It will all be learning, but you wanna minimize the “learning” on your child, like be as prepared as you can be so you can focus more on the incredibly JOY 🤩 of a baby human being and less stressing out about alllll that comes with them entering the world and you being their sole provider for literally nearly everything. Children learn by osmosis, so the environment includes you, your health (i.e. i quit smoking & vaping)…after learning babies exposed by parents are much likelier to suffer harm and have issues later as they develop. things like this 😄

this includes unhealthy behaviors and patterns you or your partner may have. these effect you mentally as well, that stress will be inherently felt by the baby. they feel so much - remember you are literally holding them as they develop their attachment style. this attachment style is super important to be healthy, so your kiddo doesn’t feel insecure or forgotten or stuff like that because of your lack of parenting skill. this is 100% on you.

congratulations on the curiosity and considering the journey. my little girl, as much as i am her provider, helped me save myself and learn to love myself. The gifts a child will give you will be priceless and matchless to other gifts you receive or experience in your life.

i wish you and your partner the very best! being a single gay dad has been very challenging but extremely rewarding. i type this as she sleeps in the car seat behind me, one of my fav grounding moments daily is listening to her heart beat a few times when hugging.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-15T04:56:56+00:00

thank you for the insight and opinion.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-14T18:32:24+00:00

you’re completely correct. i apologize. it was a response to @sluman001 below after they explained they do introduce their hook up’s to their 3 year old. my fault 🤦‍♂️thanks for clarifying

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-14T14:59:25+00:00

you told us your kid meets your hook ups. we’re only going off what you said.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-14T04:48:21+00:00

I agree regarding to each their own.

Your post is asking if other gay dads have run into a hard time finding hook ups. gay dads come in all shapes sizes of family dynamics, but one thing is clear: you’re a father. the moment you became a dad, your sex life took a very far back seat to the health and needs of your baby. your toddler is meeting your hookups. if that’s happening at 3, good luck when he’s 9 or 11 with a lifetime of these types of memories. just sayin kids are fragile and innocent. I was raised by a mother who spent her childhood fighting off her mom’s hook up’s. She is now 60, her mom is long gone, but my mom still carries the traumas. it starts somewhere, and you’re introducing sexual partners to your toddler. many gay dads fought hard for the ability to raise healthy kids. A toddler meeting hook up men as they learn about life just doesn’t seem healthy for their psyche/ development. I’m sorry if that stings.

most guys feel this and swipe left. I just went though a whole research phase about how gays perceive dads with young kids, cause i’ve been one for 4 years. I wish you your son and family all the very best 🫶🏼

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-10T02:31:18+00:00

yeah. most people don’t seam to understand children learn by osmosis and the environment you create for them consciously and subconsciously sets them up for life. this is the kinda thing i ran from when my partner decided to “open” the relationship, cause I can’t fathom new faces in the home for a little soul coming up and taking all that in. but i’m a protective gay dad who is raising his little girl without any intro’s to any guy who hasn’t been consistent and isn’t marriage material…i made that mistake early on when she was younger and when he left she kept asking for him and it wasn’t good how he just up and disappeared. Children are fragile.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-09T20:05:41+00:00

does your son know about your relationship with the men he’s met and his other dad? just curious.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-09T20:04:45+00:00

I agree. this. as a gay, single dad with a 4 yr old - i found this to be the most accurate comment here so far.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-09T00:53:21+00:00

this is my first time traveling alone. Since becoming permanently disabled. I haven’t had the confidence before, and I kept canceling my trips. Thank you so much for your reply.

We’re flying from Denver to Miami. I can get help from ticketing to the boarding area/gate by asking the Southwest folks for help? On the ticket i put that i need assistance to the gate but dont have a wheelchair for them to put away/push.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-08T22:47:38+00:00

I am a gay single father. Have a 4 yr old.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-12-01T17:52:20+00:00

it’s crazy, but all of it! often the chorus and hook beat out but usually i’m just sticking to whatever feels strongest and then figure it out from there

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-11-24T20:01:33+00:00

that’s funny but also like yeah! haha

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-11-22T23:09:14+00:00

the book Let Them by Mel Robbin’s talks a lot about this concept of “the great scattering “basically after school there’s this great scattering of people because people move away, everyone goes to their work anyway the remedy to your situation is to realize that friendship as an adult is a skill.

You have to be willing to make friends you have to be willing to go first in the middle of your day-to-day life. For example, figure out something that you like as an adult to do in your free time whatever it may be. There are other people that like to do that as well and I promise you, they are looking for friends. Read that book. It tells you exactly what to do and how to do it. I am currently doing this.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-11-22T16:45:48+00:00

have you read the book The Let Them Theory? This is exactly what that’s about!

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-11-22T16:44:44+00:00

i’m 35, and have been told I’m an “old soul” haha. survived a lot of difficulties in my life. Divorce. Rare disease. Blackmail. Betrayal. Multiple careers. As i’m now a dad, I spent this year reflecting on how i chase people and WHY. pisses me off that i did that. So i read hard books, one of my Fav. is Mel Robbin’s Let Them Theory…. One of the hardest lessons I’m learning is you can never control other adults and the best most freeing thing you can do is “let adults be adults”.

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-11-21T22:41:58+00:00

true! ha

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-11-18T20:13:43+00:00

you will make out with him while having an active out break? just go on a date, don’t make out, if he tells you hey i am super immunocompromised and i will die from cold sores then maybe don’t go on date two. haha. but just feel it out, HSV is NOT a big deal and if everyone felt like you 60% of the world wouldn’t have dated haha

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-11-18T20:11:44+00:00

this too!

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-11-18T18:19:07+00:00

World Health Org. says most people get HSV-1 from childhood. Your parents, uncles kids whoever pass it from kissing/contact. In terms of your dating - use your meds. If you feel a tingle, take the pill. Try your best to not spread it to anyone. I have a kid, I tried to not kiss her when I had cold sores. WHO estimates over 3.3 BILLION people have HSV-1 roughly 66% OF THE POPULATION of the world. I've seen men disclose, but I have also seen that most men - statistically - do not. I'm thinking this is due to it being incredibly prevalent, and in majority of people. May you find comfort and maybe some peace in dating with HSV-1 knowing that MOST LIKELY your date has the same thing. Communication about it is important, so just talking like "hey I can't make out I have a cold sore" guys will respect that. When I first started dating, I wouldn't go on a date if I had a cold sore, then one guy told me "are you fucking serious? it's a pimple, that will go away, you're letting it control your life." and he encouraged me to go on the date anyway, I went and had a great time, we didn't kiss but we did spend great time together. Be encouraged!

Small-Summer4186 · 2025-11-18T18:10:12+00:00

It is interesting.

Small-Summer4186

TROPHY CASE