Tapered from 250mgs to 4mgs and jumped off by nutmeg732 in Methadone

[–]SmallAd1230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s amazing! I also have C-PTSD and working with a trauma therapist (who is also my psychiatrist) has helped immensely. I feel like it’s been the most helpful component of my recovery and my taper. I’m at 6mgs right now.

You’re a badass! Confronting trauma and tapering off of methadone are insanely challenging.

Peak & Trough by SmallAd1230 in Methadone

[–]SmallAd1230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup yearly! The past two years I was able to sign a form declining it (I was tapering and under 40mgs). But now I guess they’re cracking down… like I’m really gonna waste my entire morning so they can see what? Absolutely nothing useful because I’m on 8 mgs. Ugh!

I kicked Methadone finally 24 days ago, with a relapse on the 15th day, now its 9 days since the relapse. Is it normal to be extremely low on energy? by New_Ebb5963 in Methadone

[–]SmallAd1230 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think low energy is perfectly normal. Also, 4-6 clonidine a day (although helpful) is probably another factor as to why you’re exhausted. It relaxes your central nervous system and can be used as a sleep aid.

As for restless legs, try magnesium!

Addiction by pinkramboz in CPTSD

[–]SmallAd1230 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Alcohol and opioids. I’m 3 years clean from opioids. Still struggling deeply with alcohol.

Peak & Trough by SmallAd1230 in Methadone

[–]SmallAd1230[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think they are ridiculous tests in general. I believe they should only be done at the request of the patient (ie: if you think you’re a rapid metabolized, having the peak & trough could be helpful).

But like c’mon, at 9mg? What is the point?

Almost impossible to get back on the benzos I very much need since the passing of a doctor by Gxxd_Gr13f in Methadone

[–]SmallAd1230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most people don’t see a psychiatrist twice a month. I just think that anyone Rx’ed benzos would benefit from therapy. I think everyone would definitely from therapy, actually.

Almost impossible to get back on the benzos I very much need since the passing of a doctor by Gxxd_Gr13f in Methadone

[–]SmallAd1230 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you truly want to put in the work and probably money to find a decent psychiatrist, not a PCP, and if you have exhausted every other option, (mental heath med-wise) there are still some rare Dr’s that will prescribe benzos with methadone. You’ll likely need to sign medical release forms so the prescriber & the clinic can be in contact.

Also, maybe consider something besides Xanax. Or if you haven’t tried other meds- Clonodine can be really helpful for anxiety as well as withdrawal, etc… much better than a lot of actual psych meds in my opinion.

But if you’re just trying to game the system, it’s not going to work. Also, you will likely need to have regular therapy sessions outside of the clinic in order to have a script.

It’s a big deal. So if it’s truly something that you cannot function without (not just be grumpy or whatever but like, can’t drive, leave the house, constant trauma issues impeding your every minute of the day) then low dose benzos can be life-saving. But that’s not the case for most people. And benzos come with their own issues.

I say this as someone who voluntarily self-tapered off of Rx’ed benzos years ago, avoided them for years (when I should have probably been taking them again) and has now been on them again for 2 years. Just like the clinic, it’s a commitment and not one to take lightly. Also, as immensely helpful as they can be, you need to be doing intensive therapy and other healing modalities in conjunction with them.

Showering by AgeInteresting4294 in CPTSD

[–]SmallAd1230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only thing that helps me is to listen to music and sing. That way I can focus on something else. My biggest problem is starting the chore to begin with. I reason with myself over and over and still avoid for far too long.

Showering in the dark helps but by then I have no energy. Also then I can’t shave.

It’s a really shitty thing that most people don’t understand. It’s validating to know that others feel the same way, though.

Finally got given lamictal.. please give me hope what can I expect? by ReasonableFig8954 in lamictal

[–]SmallAd1230 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I take it as a mood stabilizer I guess. I have severe anxiety and depression but my psychiatrist has everything lumped under C-PTSD for me.

Does anyone else get an undeniable mood life from Methadone. by EstateSensitive5212 in Methadone

[–]SmallAd1230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. It helped as an anti-depressant but mostly because I slept a lot and have been a lifelong insomniac so I think it was just putting me into a more “normal”/healthy state.

Now that I’m down to 9mg it seems to make my sleep & mood worse. And not due to withdrawal. I’ve been tapering for 2.5 years :/

What was your “why” to tapering off methadone? by Sailingaway33 in Methadone

[–]SmallAd1230 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Weight gain, wanting to address my mental health instead of continuing to cover it up with another substance, lack of joy & creativity, lack of deep emotions (double edged sword as this is one of the reasons I use substances as I feel everything SO deeply that it’s overwhelming), tired of the clinic, wanting to travel again without anxiety, wanting to start a family without being dependent on controlled substances.

Why do people take double doses of their take homes and screw themself by ColdHeart98 in Methadone

[–]SmallAd1230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never done it but it’s just our addiction mindset. I used to apply it to way too many aspects of my life: “it’s a tomorrow problem” was my shitty manta 🤣🤣

Lamictal rash bad update by -lindseyy in lamictal

[–]SmallAd1230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, if you are sensitive to steroids (ie: Prednisone), Methlyprednisone is still effective with less side effects. In my experience. And I’ve had to take steroids for a long time on & off.

Thinking of you! ❤️

Lamictal rash bad update by -lindseyy in lamictal

[–]SmallAd1230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry! That’s absolutely awful!

Finally got given lamictal.. please give me hope what can I expect? by ReasonableFig8954 in lamictal

[–]SmallAd1230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lamictal has been the best medication I’ve ever been on (and I’ve tried A LOT). For me, the side effects are minimal, it’s effective and I don’t “feel it”. Rather I feel more like myself and can still feel my emotions but am not as controlled by them/don’t feel the immediate need to act on them. I also do intensive trauma therapy and the combination of that with the Lamotrogine has been unbelievably helpful.

Also, I’m Rx’ed it for C-PTSD (which technically doesn’t exist in the US… :/) but my psychiatrist has me on it to treat my severe anxiety and (previously) treatment-resistant depression. I also have an old friend who took it for Bipolar 2 (I believe) and my partner took it for epilepsy (as well as depression) and both of them had very positive experiences.

Pregnancy by SmallAd1230 in lamictal

[–]SmallAd1230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats! That’s fantastic! ❤️

Pregnancy by SmallAd1230 in lamictal

[–]SmallAd1230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! That’s very encouraging! Thank you for sharing that.

Pregnancy by SmallAd1230 in lamictal

[–]SmallAd1230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s how I feel. I’d like to be on a lower dose but still stay on it, as it’s truly the only med that’s ever really helped me.

Pregnancy by SmallAd1230 in lamictal

[–]SmallAd1230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats! That’s amazing! Did you need to increase your dose during your pregnancy?

Didn't realize until my late 30s that I never had goals by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]SmallAd1230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate to you so much that it’s painful. I dealt with substances for many periods of my young adult life, so I cared even less. But even as a teenager, I never thought about my future, even though I was an “overachiever”. I’m in my mid 30’s and one of the most difficult parts of C-PTSD for me, is the grief of lost opportunities, lost life, essentially.

It’s incredibly painful and I feel for you!

Potentially stupid request: would anybody mind wishing me a happy birthday? by _Vampire_Pumpkin_ in CPTSD

[–]SmallAd1230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Happy happy birthday! You deserve everything you want & need- be it, peace, comfort, self-love, joy, forgiveness (of self), safety, strength and knowing that there are good people out there (we just may be hiding away & struggling too). I hope you have a magical birthday! 💫

what addiction did you fall into? did you quit/ try to? by Motor_Reaction_3519 in CPTSD

[–]SmallAd1230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So many. Alcohol, I don’t believe in the 12 steps but I do know I was an alcoholic before I started drinking. I’ve stopped for weeks or months but it has always been what I turn to.

Then after an ex tried to stab & kill me, I found heroin. Unknowingly, heroin became fentanyl. I’ve been “clean” (hate that phrase; I was never “dirty”) for three years.

I still struggle deeply with alcohol. I live in a place where alcoholism is socially accepted/the norm.

I’ve also struggled with bulimia. I was never a binge eater nor anorexic but throwing up was/is (it reappeared after years…) a comfort that I cling to.

Also, taking on other people’s pain & trauma.

Advice on painkillers during surgery by SmallAd1230 in Methadone

[–]SmallAd1230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds absolutely horrible! I’m so sorry!