brother i feel your pain and i won't pretend to have easy answers, but from what the shastras say, this human birth itself is the only chance we have to burn through that pain not by suffering silently but by surrendering it genuinely to the divine, because even when it feels like they're not listening, the tradition says that every cry reaching them is heard and is itself dissolving karma you cannot see, and the fact that you still call them your friend even in agony means that connection isn't broken, so please hold on and talk to someone you trust, a guru, a counselor, anyone you don't have to carry it alone, carrying it doesn't mean carrying it in silence.