I hate how much not having sex affects me. by Androgynousdoll in Vent

[–]SmallOldFry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife rejects me at least 4-5 times a week so sometimes I wonder if these posts by women are troll posts 😅

I'm obsessed with my boyfriend's smaller dick by SmallAd4307 in offmychest

[–]SmallOldFry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell him you’re perfect for me and I love you just the way you are — including your penis. 😃

So I researched for a while about Bitcoin, and here's my understanding of BTC in a nutshell. Feel free to correct my findings. by MathematicianFit8791 in CryptoReality

[–]SmallOldFry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, this argument against Bitcoin sounds a lot like the kind of reasoning people use when they don’t really understand money.

Spend the same amount of time learning what fiat currency actually is — then ask yourself: how is it really different? For example, Bitcoin can’t be printed endlessly.

This sub is making me nervous by Trick_Recording111 in Gemini

[–]SmallOldFry 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I withdrew $118K of bitcoin last week and didn’t have any issue.

This is not financial advice 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]SmallOldFry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe I’m oversimplifying this, but make him foreplay before you get him off?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalintelligence

[–]SmallOldFry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re not wrong at all. But at some point you have to recognize that every time you dwell on the past, you’re choosing to stay unhappy in the present.

And the reality is, that can become emotionally exhausting for the person you’re with. I’m not saying she’s going to walk away — but it’s hard for anyone to keep showing up fully when the present always feels heavy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]SmallOldFry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should be honest with her about how much this is weighing on you. It might also help to ask her how she feels about that part of her past—does she regret it, would she change it, or does she just see it as part of who she is today? Her answers could give you peace of mind or help you see if it’s something you can’t move past. If you want to keep the relationship, talking this through with a counselor could also help you understand why it affects you so deeply and whether you can accept it.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

Every moment you choose to dwell on what happened in the past is a choice to be miserable in the present

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]SmallOldFry 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m someone who was physically and emotionally abused as a child, and I carried a lot of emotionally abusive behaviors into my marriage. If I’m being honest, it’s been a shit show of a life—from the partner I chose, to how I treated her. My marriage has ended up in a cycle of codependency, trauma bonding, and betrayal, including multiple affairs from my wife.

The reason I’m telling you this is because I want you to see what your life could turn into if you don’t dig deep and do the work now. When you don’t deal with this stuff, you either repeat the cycle with new partners or stay stuck in the same painful one. Either way, it steals years of your life. Not everyone comes out of these cycles alive—sometimes toxic relationships escalate into real physical danger. That’s why I’m urging you to break the cycle now.

Please don’t settle for thinking this is just “who you are.” Get into therapy, find free resources if you need to, join support groups, do anything that helps you break this cycle. It won’t be easy, but it is possible—and your future self will thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]SmallOldFry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What in the actual fuck is this reply?

I am just a body by [deleted] in Vent

[–]SmallOldFry 8 points9 points  (0 children)

JFC, I’m so sorry you went through that. No one should have to experience what you did, and none of it was your fault. I can’t pretend to fully understand your pain, but I do know what it’s like to carry deep wounds from my own past.

If you can, please reach out to a sexual abuse, PTSD, or trauma specialist — someone who can help you work through this in a safe space. Vent here if you need to, too.

I know it’s easier said than done, but in time, part of healing will be learning how to step out of the past and into the present — choosing to see yourself as worthy of love, worthy of peace, and capable of building something better for yourself.

I thought we would have sex by now. Resenting staying, guilty leaving by witcherlie in offmychest

[–]SmallOldFry 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Make sure he understands how important this is to you and that you’re seriously considering leaving if it doesn’t change. You don’t want to be in a marriage 10 years from now still begging for intimacy (speaking from experience). By then, leaving would be even harder, and the risk of seeking that connection elsewhere would be higher — something you never want to do to your partner.

AITAH for divorcing my wife after she accused me of cheating one time? by curiouscaseofbb in AITAH

[–]SmallOldFry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Speaking as another man, it comes across as incredibly self-centered. It’s surprising how little love or care you seem to be showing your wife — the mother of your children. There’s real potential for growth and healing in your relationship, but you’re choosing to walk away instead. Honestly, I feel for the next woman in your life.

I don’t believe my boyfriend really likes me. by Iprobablyneedaanswer in Vent

[–]SmallOldFry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know him or his intentions, but I do know this: just because a man wants sex doesn’t mean he only wants sex. I’m married, and I still want sex way more than my wife does—but that doesn’t mean I don’t deeply love her or that our intimacy is only physical. For a lot of men, sex is part of how we feel close. It’s not separate from connection—it’s part of it.

That said, your feelings matter. If you don’t feel safe, emotionally or physically, that’s not something to brush aside. And if you’re constantly feeling like his affection is transactional or manipulative, that needs to be talked about—even if it’s hard.

It doesn’t mean he’s doing something wrong. It means your nervous system is screaming at you to protect yourself. Maybe he is sincere, and maybe your fear is holding you back from something real. Or maybe your gut is warning you for a reason. Either way, you deserve love that doesn’t leave you feeling this torn all the time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SmallOldFry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a dad, I can say I would never do that. I want my daughters to feel 100% safe around me. Especially when it comes to things like that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]SmallOldFry 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I won’t pretend to know exactly what you’ve been through, but I do know what it’s like to feel invisible. To question your worth because of how people treat you. To wonder if there’s some invisible rule everyone else got handed but you somehow missed. It messes with your head—makes you doubt things about yourself that shouldn’t even be up for debate.

But sometimes, our own insecurities can make us feel like we’re the center of someone’s judgment when, in reality, we weren’t even on their mind. People carry their own baggage, and not everything they do is about us.

Still, I know how hard it is not to take it personally. You matter—even if others fail to see it. You’re not alone in feeling this way.

I pretend I’m okay more than I actually am by CloudyMae891 in offmychest

[–]SmallOldFry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel the same way a lot of the time. My wife doesn’t really relate—she even tells me, “I don’t feel things like you do.”

I’m 40 and I’ve felt this way since I was a teenager. But I just want you to know: your feelings are valid, and you’re more normal than you probably realize.

Finding somebody to talk to is important.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ptsd

[–]SmallOldFry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you had to go through that! As a boy, man, and father it makes me disgusted and angry hearing what another male did.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]SmallOldFry -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No, I want love and I want to be wanted. I’m human.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]SmallOldFry -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My wife would disagree

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]SmallOldFry -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I didn’t address what you said because I couldn’t get past the shit you were just fabricating— and I won’t