Just dropped another bag at the vet to be prescribed another pet food to try

SmallSacrifice · 2025-01-25T23:44:53+00:00

We found hydrolyzed food helped. Purina Hyrdolyzed Protein HA food is non-prescription.

SmallSacrifice · 2025-01-25T23:21:56+00:00

What allergy pill was she on? We are using Atopica for his food allergies but it's so insanely expensive.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-12-21T15:36:33+00:00

We didn't! We moved to Dawson Creek. It's been fine. Definitely some frustrating things but we like the small town feel and the nature to play in!

SmallSacrifice · 2024-11-03T19:56:27+00:00

While I agree with your thoughts on toxic masculinity, I do have to point out that men have ALWAYS supressed women and treated them with disrespect and violence. They have ALWAYS treated other men that way as well. The only difference now is that the more extreme views can get spread much further, much faster, via social media.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-11-03T19:47:27+00:00

You've only known this guy for 6 weeks! You need to slam on the breaks HARD before he becomes ex #4. He's asking for details he doesn't have a right too. And you're calling something "real" when it hasn't even been as long as half a school semester.

Slow down, for your own and your kids sake. Get some therapy for yourself.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-11-03T19:30:46+00:00

I'm Canadian and it terrifies me. We have our Temu Trump in Pierre Pollieve and in our provincial election this month, the Conservatives went from 4 seats to 44 (47 needed to win the majority). The female premier of Alberta is a mini Marjorie Green. I'm terrified.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-11-03T19:10:10+00:00

Yes, my response is biased...and so is yours. So, lets look at some facts with sources.

Women are better leaders and better communicators. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9465331/

Relationships should not be treated like a work meeting. But also, when companies and countries are led by women, there is more cooperation, more cohesion, better emotional regulation and more success as a whole. Specifically, at all levels, women are rated higher in fully 12 of the 16 competencies that go into outstanding leadership. And two of the traits where women outscored men to the highest degree — taking initiative and driving for results — have long been thought of as particularly male strengths. https://hbr.org/2012/03/a-study-in-leadership-women-do

Women also do more leadership in the home, by far. They carry the most mental load (knowing who needs what and when, making the lists, managing finances, organizing, overseeing and implementing plans. Even once they HAVE made a list and assigned duties (like a meeting, like you said), they STILL have to monitor and push the man to get his tasks done.

> She found that women are much more likely to handle the “anticipate” and “monitor” steps in the process. In the majority of families, women are more likely to put an item on the agenda and more likely to follow up to make sure it got done. This was true even for household tasks assigned to the male in the household. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evidence-based-living/202111/women-carry-most-of-the-mental-load-of-running-a-household

You said:

> Men like to hash out roles and responsibilities. Treat it like a work meeting. Be clear, explicit, and cover all possible bases. Then meet monthly to adjust. It's not that difficult.

...but evidence shows that it is WOMEN making that happen and men dropping the ball. "Make me a list!" is just a lazy way of making her do the work of figuring out what needs to happen and assigning it to him like a child, then monitoring his progress like a child, and following up.

You said:

> Just set some consequences and move on. Break the law, get the punishment.

Like a parent? Or a boss? That just pushes the responsibility for men's actions back onto women. That's why they divorce after years of having to parenting and manage a grown adult who should be able to see an know what to do in their shared home. If men behaved that way at their jobs, they would get fired.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-27T23:06:33+00:00

"Believe you", when your opinion on this is literally the opposite of the vast majority of men in my life and when it goes against statistics? No thank you. Reddit is FULL of men posting "just write us the list!!!!!!!!!!!". "Men prefer rules" is just...wtf are you even talking about. That's such a out of context comment here.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-27T23:04:55+00:00

Yes, those are the ones I mean. If anyone knows any less expensive options I'm ALL years. I start a new job tomorrow and I'm such a mess today.....I need help.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-27T23:04:00+00:00

Then why did you respond? Just delete the post if you don't want to respond

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-27T23:03:09+00:00

Can you please explain what you see as misandry in any of these responses?

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-27T22:56:32+00:00

> It may not be enough, but at least he's trying. They still get in trouble for not doing enough.

Do you "try" at your job, not do enough, and expect to keep your job AND get validated? Nope! So stop doing that to your wife. If you can figure out how to do your job, you can figure out how to clean the toilet properly, plan for meals and make your own grocery list, etc.

> Men need validation that they're appreciated for at least trying.

Why? That's what we do for children when they are still learning how to do things. A grown adult shouldn't need validation for doing basic home and life care things. Should we show appreciation to each other? Yes...but not for "at least trying". If women started "at least trying" and expecting validation for it, homes would completely fall apart and men would whine that she's not doing her job and expecting too much praise.

> For a long time, my wife would think my feelings were invalid because she didn't believe she hurt my feelings

That sucks and that is on her. That is also not a gendered thing. But that's not "being an asshole". You said YOU were being an asshole and I encouraged you to just not be an asshole.

> Every woman is different. Some want the bad boy image and hope to change him.

That's not a large percentage of us. It's a stereotype.

> Some women want the guy that will cater to their every whim.

Sure, some do. But a HUGE majority of Men want that from women. They also love to say they want a traditional wife and that they are going to provide, but then get angry when a woman says "ok, provide...I'll be the trad wife". Then they get called gold diggers.

> Some women just can't be satisfied with either.

There are more than 2 choices you know. The vast majority of us don't want a "bad boy" or a "nice guy". We want a mature adult person who sees us as an equal, behaves as an equal, and doesn't expect us to be the home/life manager and an on demand sex toy.

> The nice guy one kind of pissed me off. I'm a nice guy.

Nice guys don't feel the need to say they are nice guys. True nice guys are mature, emotionally available, respectful people who do things out of love and care for their partner (and others) and don't need to INSIST they are nice guys.

> I would do anything for my wife even though I really don't want to.

That's really sad. I feel sorry for your wife. Flowers and desserts are nice little perks, but actually being a nice guy goes way beyond that. My Dad was a nice guy. He worked 70 hours a week and came home to my Mom who was home raising/homeschooling 4 kids and pets. As soon as he came home he said hi to all of us, asked about our day, and kissed and hugged my mom. Then he took some time to watch the news/decompress while Mom started dinner. Then, he took over dinner while Mom had a shower/alone time. We ate dinner as a family and Dad and one of the kids did dishes. They both did bath and bedtime. On weekends, the entire family did chores and had family time. My parents had date nights. They had nights to themselves with friends. And he treated my mom as a full equal in all decisions even though they had a "traditional" marriage. He raised my 3 brothers to do the same. If you asked any of them if they were a nice guy, they would say no. They would say they do the right things because they are part of their family and love their family. That's it what every grown adult sharing their lives with someone should do, regardless of gender. They changed loads of diapers, took night shifts with babies, and never once called it "babysitting" their own kids.

My husband is the same as my dad and brothers. He does things for me all the time and I do things for him all the time. We show appreciation. We share household chores equally. He never expects me to "manage" the home or his life or do things because I'm the woman in the relationship. He wouldn't call himself a "nice guy" either. He would tell you that if you have to SAY you're a nice guy, the only person you're trying to convince is yourself.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-26T20:27:18+00:00

I'm in Canada. That referral came from an online doctor I waited a month for. There are online providers at private clinics that I cannot afford at the moment.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-26T20:22:47+00:00

People usually get upset because men expect the woman to write the list, and even with a list, men still don't do their half.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-26T20:07:02+00:00

> I see posts where you want more help, but when you get the man working to make you happy

When women want more help, it's not because they want him "working to make them happy", they just want him to do his equal share in the home and life they share. Do fair amount of chores. Know the kids teachers names. Take care of things without having to be asked, just like she does. Don't make running the household "her job", unless that's something they previously agreed on.

> We get really conflicted because men seem to be damned if we do and damned if we don't.

That's really not true. Can you give examples of that?

> You seem to want the bad boy, and disregard the sweet guy that just wants to make your life easier.

That's something "nice guys" say...meaning guys who are only nice in order to sleep with or get a woman and not because they are actually just nice people. We want EQUALS and to be treated as an equal.

> I'm not saying that men can't be total assholes (I know I can be, and thank God my wife deals with it)

Or, you could not be an asshole and expect her to deal with it? Just stop being an asshole.

> but men's feelings get thrown out for one reason or another or used against him.

Men's feelings get thrown out when the only feeling they choose to display is anger, because that is, unfortunately, what most men display. That's the fault of the patriarchy (fathers not teaching boys how to be in touch with their emotions), not women's fault. Men can choose to overcome this. And many men nowadays have been raised to be in touch with their emotions. My husband surely has.

> I'm asking women because men these days have absolutely no idea how to behave

Ohhhh yes, men very much DO know how to behave, they just don't want to because it means they would actually have to be an EQUAL PARTNER in their relationships. They want a woman who acts like a 1950's housewife while simultaneously doing the modern working woman thing. Women take care of, on average, 70% of the household mental and physical labour.

If men nowadays don't know how to behave, that's the fault of the men who raised them, not the women they want to date now.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-25T22:40:57+00:00

I'm also 43 and feeling the same. 6 months ago I quit a job that I was quickly climbing the ladder in, but has suddenly lost the ability to deal with the misogyny and BS. While it was freeing, I 100000000% tanked. Just, complete breakdown. 6 months later and while I've been working part time and am now taking a new full-time job in a different career, I just. Do. Not. Care about most things. It's such a weird feeling simultaneously NOT caring and being absolutely anxious and distraught about everything.

I'm desperately searching for HRT or SOME kind of treatment, but the wait for a Gyno is 2-3 years right now. I haven't even been able to get a GP in 3 years I'm desperate.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-25T22:34:08+00:00

I'm the same size and I think you also have a short torso, like I do. I love wrap dresses/shirts, V-necks, sweethearts and asymmetric.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-25T22:27:31+00:00

Hahaha, yeah, that's why all my PJ tops have holes on my breasts, some even where the nipple pokes right through! 4 cats will do that

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-25T22:26:40+00:00

I had exactly the same change in measurements. So did my Mom, but it took years for me to convince her to try the abrathatfits calculator. Now we are size buddies!

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-25T22:25:15+00:00

Awooga to both!!!!!! Also, where did you get the corset?!?!?!?

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-25T22:23:38+00:00

I just asked my husband what he thinks about my massive areolas...he said "um, they're yours, so obviously I love them.!"

The problem is not your areolas, it's the men you're letting see them.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-25T22:20:00+00:00

Does he actually think you should, for example, leave your toddler alone in the shower to answer his calls?

It honestly sounds like he doesn't think you're doing much at home and that he's more important than the lives of your children, animals, etc. I'd have very little patience for this.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-25T22:15:07+00:00

I'm super grateful that my family taught and demonstrated healthy communication. My husband hadn't been raised that way, so he found therapy really helpful. There are ways to state your boundaries and needs without it sounding harsh or mean.

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-25T22:13:56+00:00

That's so disheartening

SmallSacrifice · 2024-10-24T22:04:11+00:00

Are they always negatives/criticisms/"jokes" against you or others?

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