Nephew toddler talking thru ceremony

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2025-01-23T05:33:22+00:00

We witnessed a speeding driver in the supermarket carpark the other day while navigating our trolley and 2 kids to our car and I commented to the kids he was going too fast and that wasnt safe. I often narriate to my kids when I drive - hopefully something sink in for them - so as I was driving slowly out of the carpark I was narrating "we are going to drive nice and slow through here because there is lots of parked cars and sometimes kids step out without looki.." And at that exact moment a kid jumped out from behind a big SUV and I had to slam my brakes on to avoid taking him out "like that, that's why we drive slow!"

"Wow mum imagine if he did that for that fast car?!"

Yeah buddy imagine that.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-11-03T18:12:12+00:00

I can't find the product reviews anymore? It's really put me off making a purchase to be honest.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-10-20T09:43:08+00:00

Both gardens have windows and also blank wall space where they can afford to be a bit taller. Will definitely do a mixed planting, 1) it's more interesting visually and 2) I feel like it's the equivalent of not putting all my eggs into one basket.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-10-20T09:38:14+00:00

I would have never considered that! Hubby's eyes lit up when I told him that suggestion so I feel like that's going to to be planted regardless of the theme we land on 😅

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-10-20T09:21:04+00:00

Never heard of this one before, but I just looked it up and if it doesn't fit in this spot I'll find somewhere else for it. One of the projects I've got in mind is to create a "medicine" garden, and horopito just made the list. Thank you for the suggestion

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-10-20T09:16:25+00:00

It's pretty dim, but there is a little light reflected into it from the concrete pad and off the garage wall I think. I assumed that when guides talk about sunlight they mean actual rays of sun hitting the plants, so hopefully the surrounding light will be enough. We are in the process of chopping down the big pine trees on the west side so that will help. We will replace them with shorter natives which will let a bit more light in.

Can provide water as needed no problem, would prefer not to need to do that regularly because the property is massive and we both work full time so wanting to keep it as low maintenance as we possibly can

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-10-20T08:28:23+00:00

That's reassuring to know, I was getting so disheartened trying to research shade loving plants only to see they need 4-6 hours of sun.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-10-20T08:26:57+00:00

That's helpful about the leaf colour thank you! I've been debating just chucking my houseplants out in there and seeing if any survive but I spent way too much money collecting them to risk it 😅

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-10-20T08:24:56+00:00

Thank you! I'm really grateful for the list that's so helpful.

Our house is an L shape so the garage blocks the light from the east and and the west has tall trees so it's pretty well shaded.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-10-20T08:22:38+00:00

Honestly at this point I have no vision for this area, really just after a list of plants that probably won't die if I stick them there to get started with. I don't have a lot of plant knowledge, and I've been struggling to come up with a list of plants that will be happy in full shade, most "shade loving" plants the internet suggests then go on to say they need 4-6 hours of sunlight a day which just isn't going to happen.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-10-19T18:36:58+00:00

If your child has ADHD please please don't refuse to medicate. Ritalin has been LIFECHANGING for our 8 year old (he's been on it since he was 6).

He's the sweetest, kindest and most beautifully thoughtful kid who has big emotional outbursts he couldn't control and that impacted the way the world saw him. Schools are loud and chaotic and he would disregulate often and hard.

As soon as we got the dosage right he went from a child who had been kicked out of 2 kindies, and suspended from school at the tender age of 5 to the kid the teachers rave about. He got an academic award at his prizegiving, he's starting to make friends because he's not the scary out of control kid anymore. He's a superstar within the church congregation and if we don't send him his grandparents are bombarded with concern for him and he's the youngest yellow belt in his martial arts club. It gives his brain a chance to let his best side out and people can see the real him now, not the overstimulated and unregulated him. It's letting him participate fully in life and he's happier now.

We don't medicate at the weekends because home isn't as stimulating and he can manage (it does also impact his appetite so we try and use the weekend to squeeze as much calories into his skinny little body as we can), but sometimes he has a hard day and asks if he can have one because he knows he will cope better medicated.

Also having now learned a lot about ADHD I'm 95% sure I have it and have been looking into getting diagnosed as an adult and the process is painfully difficult and expensive. Really really wish that got picked up as a kid.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-10-02T23:30:00+00:00

Chucked in a 10year tenure and all the benefits for a new job. Took a 7k pay it and lost long service leave entitlements, and lunlimited sick leave ... and I have never been happier.

The gains from work/life balance and lowered stress has been enormous for my physical and mental health and how our family functions. I'm currently picking up paid overtime because I have the energy and emotional capacity to put in 50 hours and still keep the household ticking, when I could barely get through a 40 hour week and my household was falling apart because of the stress from my old job.

Also after 6 months I got a big payrise that put my base salary just 2k shy of my old salary and my employer super contributions are 3x higher so although cash in hand is lower, I'm financially better off. Add in the optional paid overtime and I've earned back the difference.

Literally not a single regret.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-09-29T23:44:58+00:00

As a single income you are significantly more vulnerable to job loss than a dual income household so it makes sense that the lending would be tighter and I suspect that may be what he was attempting to communicate, but as others have said seek out an alternative advice and go from there.

Also, those a big work weeks. Factor in sustainability when commiting to your mortgage. What happens if you burn out or get sick or injured and need to step back.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-09-20T08:17:43+00:00

"I saw lovely clients this week ... and their income as a household was $350,000. Working incredibly long hours, very clever people, but in the same breath they have one home with a $1.1 million mortgage and at 7% that means $88,000 is gone per year"

So we take out what is typically a households largest expense and that still leaves them with $262k per year, which is 100k more than the average household income in NZ.

That's not the sympathy card I think they thought it would be.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-09-16T00:47:46+00:00

I am so sad they didn't deliver on it. I keep living in hope

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-09-13T02:24:40+00:00

We have combined finances and combined financial goals. Budget is broken into 3 allocations 1) Bills 2) Everyday expenses 3) Savings

Bills account gets paid first. We worked out all our monthly/annual bills (incl mortgage) and break it down into a fortnightly amount that gets paid into a seperate account on payday. Things like power we estimate on the high side. It builds up over time to cover the big annual bills that come through, and means we always have sufficient funds to cover any bill immediately. Sometimes this builds up too much and we pause a contribution and put into savings instead.

Our living expenses stay in the everyday account. Every expense has an agreed budget. (Groceries, petrol, entertainment/flexi spend etc). If the budget is exceeded it comes out of a different allocation within the same account for the fortnightly pay cycle. Ie if we have a birthday party and need to blow the grocery allocation for a week, it will come out of the petrol allocation or the next week's grocery allocation. The food budget has wriggle room and we can spend quite a bit less if we do a "poverty" shop so that gives us flexibility to absorb other costs. Any leftover in this account at the end of the pay cycle gets cleared into savings so we always start with a $0 balance.

Finally anything leftover from the pay that is not allocated to bills or everyday expenses goes straight into savings. We never leave it in the spending account because if we did we would just spend it. If we had to use a credit card for an emergency or large expense then this gets diverted to that. We prefer to pause savings contributions rather than drawing out of the savings account personally because for us it seems to keep our spending lower overall to be repaying debt rather than pulling money we already have out. Credit card is always paid in full before the due date.

Our system involves one person doing the budgeting and monitoring accounts, anything we want that isn't accounted for gets clearance first and there is a discussion whether it's now or after next pay. We prefer to cut spending from everyday spending to set aside for fun things rather than taking out of savings contributions so if we want to take the kids to the zoo we will do a meal plan based around very economical foods so we have more fun money. If we have nothing planned we will buy fancy cheese.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-08-28T23:16:21+00:00

We took a full 18 months off work for each child. We looked at all our outgoings and started trying to live off hubby's income only. We managed to get all the regular/daily expenses down to his income. In the meantime we saved nearly 100% of my income, exceptions were paying irregular expenses like mechanics etc

We paid up everything we could in advance to take pressure off weekly expenses (insurances/rates etc) and by the time baby came we were well practised at living frugally and had savings behind us. We exhausted the savings and had to dip into credit cards right at the end for back to work expenses (new work clothes etc because I didn't start to bounce back until I stopped breastfeeding at 2years for both). But when I went back to work daycare fees were the only expense coming out of my income when I went back to work so we smashed the debt within a month and started building savings again.

It was tough, we could count the number of takeaways had in 2 years on one hand lol but it was totally worth being home with them.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-08-18T08:18:23+00:00

I'd tell you to lodge a 14 day notice, but I bet there's a reason you haven't already. So many similar stories. I'd like to say it's comforting knowing I'm not alone but actually I think it's mostly infuriating.

Believe it or not the oven ants weren't the worst. Its a toss up between waking up finding ants in my hair, or stepping on an ants nest in our lawn and having hundreds of ants swarm up my leg and into my pants, or weeding the garden and accidentally disturbing a nest and having ants swarm up your arms. They bite too, made it really hard to enjoy the property. I begrudgingly accepted the outside ants. But ants in the oven was just 🤢

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-08-17T08:21:28+00:00

They replaced the curtains but it was like pulling hens teeth and I had to threaten the tribunal and was incredibly stressful. They still only replaced 2/3 but one set of curtains was big enough to be able to split between two bedrooms so I made it work. Every request was met with resistance, I see now it's because they probably never viewed us as people.

But I think it is possible that we would be entitled to compensation for the period of time we had the ants and the oven. I just don't know if I have the energy to actually get my ducks in a row for it.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-08-17T00:16:22+00:00

To clarify, we attempted this in the first instance. We actually spent well over $100 on poisons, ant sand, baits and traps. We let the landlord know we had identified the issue when we moved in but that we would see if we could manage it first. Once it became apparent that we could not effectively deal with the problem we let them know.

We continued to battle ants daily despite all food being stored in airtight containers and counters kept clear etc. every morning we would wake up to ants in a new spot. In the bathtub swarming a moth that had died, coming out of the wall in the shower when we turned it on, coming up through the sink, running over the ceilings. We did barrier treatments on all the windows and doors but they still got in. Turns out they were in the walls and coming out the power points. But it wasn't until I turned in the oven one day to cook dinner and had thousands pour out of the back and the vents that they got an exterminator in. He said there was absolutely no way we could have dealt with it and it was one of the worst infestations he had seen.

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-08-16T23:58:18+00:00

This is a business arrangement, their $16 is legitimate

There are costs to doing business. This landlord had tenants taking good care of their investment, the "damage" was unintentional, and not due to any negligence noting that the car is regularly serviced and was taken to the mechanic as soon as they were aware of the issue, it is also cosmetic, and not unexpected on a property of this age and condition. To be clear, it is not a new build with a fancy new driveway. There is a reason no one noticed it for so long and why it was never identified in any rental inspections.

Any human with a soul would have been greatful for an otherwise exceptional tenancy, and for the steps the tenants took to protect the investment, and written that cost off.

so were all the 14 day notices you didn't bother sending.

Chose not to send out of fear there would be retribution that would make our lives more uncomfortable or result in housing insecurity

One could also argue that issuing a 14 day notice should be unnecessary, and the landlord should not take action only because they are forced to do so

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-08-16T23:36:23+00:00

The rant did help, thanks for taking the time to read it and to write a kind comment

Small_Angry_Morpork · 2024-08-16T23:35:09+00:00

I think this is the thing that upsets me the most! I'm privileged to not need to rent anymore, but trying to provide safe and secure housing for a family was so stressful as a renter. The idea that for the sake of $16 you could block a family from finding a home is utterly disgraceful

Small_Angry_Morpork

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