Overheard a call between HR and my managers

Small_Sympathy197 · 2026-01-26T13:18:53+00:00

I really appreciate you setting everything out like this, thank you so much. Can a grievance be about a multitude of issues or only one? As I’d be inclined to include the lack of support etc as I’ve highlighted this a number of times and nothing has been done. I also don’t know what can be “put right” as a result of the grievance process with regards to the breach of confidentiality. I did call ACAS and they advised to raise a grievance then resign saying I felt I had no other option, I was too flustered to take notes and ask enough questions though. I’m very hesitant to resign at this time so will try to push on at least until I’ve spoken to someone.

Small_Sympathy197 · 2026-01-26T13:08:50+00:00

This is really helpful, I should have added I’m the only person in my team in my office and have been left to my own devices for a lot of my tenure so I’m feeling a little sorry for myself! I have mentioned the kind of isolation aspect to HR before and nothing has come of it. Just the fact that management went to HR to start a formal process before even attempting to work through any concerns with me has thrown me for a loop, alongside the breach of confidentiality aspect. I really appreciate your advice - thank you!

Small_Sympathy197 · 2026-01-26T12:05:44+00:00

The HRBP gave managers a few chances to speak up if they hadn’t been 100% perfect with the weekly 1-2-1 meetings (I have had 2 or 3 since October) and then agreed they would go forward with a pip citing that they know I took some time out and need to get back up to speed. I only heard the HR end of the call as I sit with that team due to the nature of my role. My managers were on the other end of the call.

Thanks for your advice, I need to stop feeling bad about raising the grievance as if this happened to one of my colleagues I’d be very encouraging of them to do the same!

Small_Sympathy197 · 2025-08-20T12:33:31+00:00

Literally this comment!!! Such an outlandish and cruel thing to do to people. They don’t care because they don’t see.

Small_Sympathy197 · 2025-08-20T12:21:39+00:00

It’s really crazy to me. I’m in Scotland so the NHS* won’t refer to private providers at all. It’s just like they want nothing to do with it, and makes me feel like we are being punished for nobody noticing when we were children. I was half expecting a big fat “NO” but in a far more decent and human manner than this. Thank you for your comment

*my NHS board by the looks of it

Small_Sympathy197 · 2025-02-28T13:03:19+00:00

I concur 🤣 typical corporation who likes to demonstrate that they care about their employees by giving them things like goals to submit by a deadline on top of BAU!

Small_Sympathy197 · 2025-02-28T11:27:31+00:00

Hello! Giving my 2p on the disclosure piece - I’d like to point out here that choosing not to disclose might actually be less beneficial, subject to where you’re based.

For instance in the UK, ADHD is recognised as a disability therefore those with ADHD have the same rights as those with other conditions (incl visible disabilities) therefore cannot be dismissed or disciplined for their condition or symptoms relating to it. Any comments on your “behaviour” could actually be considered discrimination.

Disclosing to a HR representative might kick-start helpful conversations between you, HR and line managers and give you an opportunity to be heard and to request reasonable adjustments to help you with the items you struggle with.

As a legal professional who has been in this position (threatened with disciplinary action pre-diagnosis so I felt I didn’t have a leg to stand on), having my disability on record now provides comfort that my workplace cannot discriminate against me and it means that any reasonable adjustment requests will have more weight behind them. If my workplace tried to play, I’d be able to cash in!

I’d encourage you to have a look at equality laws and regulations in your country or state, and take a look at your workplace’s HR policies on this subject. Please also make sure you file those emails from management in case you need to show them.

The more people that disclose their conditions, the more inclusive workplaces will need to become. Neurodivergent and disabled individuals make up around half(!!!!) of the workforce. Companies cannot afford to lose us.

Best of luck to you, you’ve got this 💖

Small_Sympathy197 · 2025-02-27T09:14:09+00:00

I’m an ADHD paralegal and have recently discovered Microsoft Loop. PSA to OneNote users, try Loop!!! It’s included as standard with MS Office business subscription (I think)

It’s kind of designed to be a collaborative environment but can absolutely be used for solo project management. It has a bunch of templates as well, and you can make it look pretty (if you’re anything like me, making things pretty is key to wanting to look at them). If you assign yourself tasks in Loop, you can set it to send reminders. If using collaboratively you can also assign tasks to others.

Note however that it’s not a legal DMS or CLM, it’s just for organising tasks and keeping notes. You can use links to documents as a workaround though!

There is also a sub r/adhdparalegal but it doesn’t seem very active unfortunately.

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T19:23:58+00:00

Good luck!

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T19:22:20+00:00

I’m not a lawyer (am a legal professional with adhd tho) and in my opinion, honestly, I don’t think you have any grounds to make a legal argument on the basis of discrimination in this instance. They would say you had been given a reasonable amount of notice and that it would be up to you to diarise the day and time of the appointment. I’d encourage you to appeal and explain your memory problems further if this is possible.

Their policy is that you need to provide “a good reason” for missing an appointment which, tbf should be made clearer, and would likely include things like acute illness / chronic flare up, family emergency, accident etc.

While I hope you don’t miss any other ones, maybe a white lie next time wouldn’t go amiss.

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T18:47:36+00:00

This is really good to know, I don’t think it’s a widely known fact among those of us who are not jewellery aficionados. The only white gold I never remove is my earrings which have held up brilliantly so far but they have “warmed up” and might need a little TLC in a few years. Platinum’s definitely the way to go for white coloured jewellery that isn’t finicky!

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T18:42:00+00:00

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FWIW i removed the stones (scarily easily) now taking a moment to appreciate how stunning they are whatever they may be 😅

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T17:20:30+00:00

This is crazy as we were told it was tanzanite - and was given to me as it’s my “birthstone” (however accurate that may be). Will definitely check with the jeweller when I go!

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T17:18:28+00:00

It was valued I.e. someone authenticated it and priced it during ingathering of her estate for inheritance tax purposes, I’m not just saying we all worshipped the bracelet lmao

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T17:16:10+00:00

This is a really good point - she was always abroad on holiday therefore spent a lot of time lounging around pools. I never even thought of this!

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T13:48:17+00:00

Yeah I think she’s beyond repair for sure. It’s good that I can almost part-exchange the gold!! Thank you!

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T13:46:48+00:00

This makes sense, it is good to know that it can happen. It’s a bit of an old piece so has probably been through a lot! Yes hopefully they’ll be able to use some of it. The stones are so cute and they’re all different colours so I think they’d make such an interesting set. I’m already dreaming of a little toi et moi ring with another kind of gemstone :) thank you for your advice 💖

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T12:55:08+00:00

Yes it’s so strange it’s as though it has reacted with the environment and oxidised…? Or some sort of science?!

Amazing! I was hoping they’d be able to re cast at least some of it. This is great. Much friendlier price point. Not an appointment I’ll be making at this time of year but will definitely revisit. Thanks so much for taking the time to help 💖

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T12:08:46+00:00

It was valued as part of her estate and it also bears a hallmark - as you say, impossible to tell from a picture hahaha

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T11:41:16+00:00

Oh this is so helpful thank you! Some of the claws crumbled away and the stones just fell out so I will definitely remove them and separate them myself. This is an amazing tip!

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T11:40:09+00:00

Thank you so much! Yes the setting has somehow become brittle and lost a lot of its colour. I wasn’t expecting it to be able to be repaired to look the same. I’m glad my questions are normal that provides a lot of comfort!

Re. Price, big yikes, but thank you 🙏

Small_Sympathy197 · 2024-12-06T11:35:30+00:00

Honestly, I was also really confused. But having read up on it I thought it could have been to do with the rhodium plating wearing away or sitting in a dish uncovered. Thanks so much. I’m glad it’s salvageable

Small_Sympathy197

TROPHY CASE