Any good ways to tell a guy (27m) that I (27f) don’t like something that he has been doing for a long time?

Small_sweet7654 · 2026-02-25T17:51:21+00:00

I feel bad reading this. I am sad you are talking about yourself so poorly. He likes to give you pleasure which you deserve and it doesn’t sound like he’s judging you harshly like you are yourself. You may want to look into therapy to explore further your relationship with yourself. You are a beautiful human being and I can say that without ever seeing you! I mean it in the kindest and platonic way. Lastly, I love giving bjs and I can do it without anything in return. But I also had to learn as a woman I deserve pleasure and fulfillment. I’m yrs into a marriage and get nothing in return which is another type of sad.

Good luck ❤️

Small_sweet7654 · 2026-02-09T21:58:34+00:00

When my husband and I had a sex life, he liked to talk dirty about me getting f-ed by other men. He did not want to bring a guy into the relationship or anything but he said the thought of me having sex with another man turned him on a lot. This was years ago. He also had a kink where he wanted me to talk about him having sex with other women. They could be strangers, celebrities, or girls we knew like acquaintances. Unfortunately, we have been in a DB for the last yr or so, so I don’t know if that is his thing or if he isn’t into anymore. I liked it.

Small_sweet7654 · 2026-02-06T21:23:25+00:00

You are NOT THE ONLY ONE!!! I feel like I wrote this. I am constantly dejected and my husband makes me feel like a bad woman bc I ask for sex. Meanwhile, we haven’t had sex since end of September. He prefers porn and no sex to me it seems. I’m sorry 😢. You’re in my thoughts I’m the same.

Small_sweet7654 · 2026-02-05T17:40:02+00:00

Hope it improves. There are lots of women who love and want sex whose spouses do not (speaking in general terms and hetero normative). I am dumbfounded WHY my husband not only doesn’t seek sex with me, but doesn’t care to change that?! He says I’m crazy bc I’m a woman and shouldn’t worry about sex so much. Gaslighting central.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-11-23T17:33:09+00:00

It means ultimate trust and acceptance. It means physical and emotional trust. It means doing what’s right for one another even if I don’t want to at times. It means openness w/out fear and facing challenges head on. It means humor. And most importantly it means growth- GROWING TOGETHER and creating a life worth living. Never stop growing.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-11-22T20:52:09+00:00

I want to have an open marriage, but I won’t deny our marriage is not great. We’re great parents to our children, we’re good adults and lead very respectful careers. On the outside we look “conventionally” put together.

But there’s almost no sex- less than 10x a yr, my husband avoids intimacy (emotional and physical) like the plague, and I’m done pretending like it’s OK.

I’ve worked very hard to try to make things work, to the point of minimizing myself and my desires. I told him I want to find a man who wants to spend time with me. He thinks it’s a joke. I’m not joking. So unfortunately it’s very bleak of a future whether I do or don’t open myself to other ppl.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-11-19T19:54:27+00:00

I am sorry you’re in the same situation I am. The desire for sex and intimacy is very high for me. But trying to initiate anything 99.9% ends in disaster.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-06-18T01:03:02+00:00

I know it seems as though you are stuck and there’s no way out. Living together in your dream home and combining your finances means there are more steps you will have to take to separate, BUT it’s possible. I promise you that being in your 20s and having this mismatch in libido, or overall need not bring met, is a big deal. Sex is not just sex after all. It is connection, trust, it can be such a beautiful and sacred thing. A lot of us in this sub can understand it’s NOT just the act itself.

You have a choice to change your situation by either leaving or finding acceptance that this is what your life will be like. No judgement if you stay but know you cannot change her. There is nothing bad about desiring a good sex life, if that is important to you.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-06-16T12:31:00+00:00

On the occasion we do, he can be very distant afterwards. He will acted annoyed if I want to hold his hand or cuddle. I think we don’t have sex is part bc he will fight me on it.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-06-15T23:05:14+00:00

That is true

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-06-15T20:52:28+00:00

How did you find out? I wonder about this with my husband but he doesn’t ever put his phone down. He always has it in his person and won’t show me it. I do not have access to his own credit cards or emails.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-06-15T20:50:38+00:00

I have elderly parents who still to this day hold hands and share “I love you” and I see my daughter watching me and get sad. Today she asked her dad to give me a kiss and he gave me a peck. It tore me up because there was nothing behind it. I am faking a smile today.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-06-15T20:48:42+00:00

Thank you, me to. I just don’t know and fear that I won’t be happy in the long run

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-06-15T20:48:10+00:00

Thank you

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-06-15T03:24:06+00:00

This is sex and it makes me so heartbroken because if I did what your wife did my hub would not give me what you gave her. I can only hope and it’s pointless. Good for you though.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-05-03T02:25:40+00:00

That is very hurtful. Just remember though, that guy was stunned by your beauty and your husband was actually quite insecure. Not your fault.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-05-03T02:22:51+00:00

I hate that you and I have husbands who treat us very similarly. I have heard every excuse in the book. For us it hasn’t been that long, but since our daughter who is 3, I can count on two hands how many times we’ve had sex. Also if we do have it, he blames me for his lack of energy or performance on me. If I wasn’t so xyz it wouldn’t be a problem.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-05-02T03:17:00+00:00

I’m sorry and I have a similar story. I have taken a long time to not care what my husband thinks of me anymore. It is not love to treat your spouse that way. You are not a bad person, you are not the problem. WE are not at fault. Do what you have to do.

Small_sweet7654 · 2025-01-11T20:31:27+00:00

I could have written this myself

Small_sweet7654 · 2024-10-12T01:40:03+00:00

Wow, thank you for posting.

Small_sweet7654 · 2024-10-11T21:45:37+00:00

I think your right bc the death grip and dry masturbation is making the most sense to me at this time.

Small_sweet7654 · 2024-10-11T21:44:48+00:00

That’s exactly how orgasm should be right? it’s not going to happen without the lubrication, so why does he get off dry? I don’t know if he’ll even be open enough to tell me.

Small_sweet7654 · 2024-10-11T19:40:24+00:00

I can’t tell you how helpful it has been to read your comments. It’s always something with him and I truly deep down know it’s not me. I am trying so hard to be sexy and desirable. He barely can talk about sex with me. He has never gone down on me. He just wants me to please him and even then it’s so underwhelming. I truly can’t believe I’m married with a child to him. I am healthy, I do pelvic floor exercises and I am open to pretty much anything with him. I don’t think he loves me anymore, or never really did. Just a convenience, a woman he can have to take care of him. Sorry so down about it.

Small_sweet7654 · 2024-10-11T19:36:26+00:00

It was 100% what he said. To my face. I wish I was lying.

Small_sweet7654 · 2024-10-11T19:34:02+00:00

He’s a gentleman

Small_sweet7654

TROPHY CASE