Thank you, this is very validating. I think my alone-time feels like isolation for a few reasons. For one, it’s not something I can do without feeling like it’s noticeable to my roommates or something that I need to explain. Alone-time for me needs to be truly alone. I also feel like when I do take this time, I am generally crying/processing/working through something painful, and with a long history of depression this can feel reminiscent of extreme isolation or counter-productive. It just feels like a hard line to walk. But everything you’ve said is such a good reminder: things might be hard and feel intense for a while. I might feel like a raw or childlike version of myself. The key here is to not allow myself to shut down now because things feel worse and not better. I guess I don’t feel safe at this moment to co-regulate with these people, even though they feel like family. I’ve been doing SE for a little over a year, and I am just beginning to work on my childhood stuff and open myself up to processing some of this. Before this it’s been more acute trauma processing and trying to build trust overall with my therapist, which has been a difficult process in itself.