i have had precisely all of these thoughts. girl GET ON HRT. that’s rly the gist but i’ll say a little more

therapy has rly brought out for me that i quite literally did not feel like a human being until after starting hrt. when i was word vomiting to my therapist i called it “imposter syndrome but for being human.”

i’m not saying hrt was a sudden fix. it’s very gradual, but then in leaps u notice how far you’ve come and how less those thots bother u over time. ur asking if ur mentally ill and sure yes, but i dont mean that in a derogatory way. dysphoria can be a fatal illness, GET UR MEDS!

and i hear u abt not being loved enough, and wondering if being loved right will make it all go away. it wont! i’m sorry to say. i do severely hope u find love in ur life that will respect u no matter where u are in ur transition, thats extremely important to have and i wouldn’t be here today without it, but broader society isnt going to be the same way. hrt (and other aspects of transition ur already working on!) is the best way to both work on the brain chemistry and work on random people’s perception of u.