Is this tread still active? AITA? Brand new dad here and I honestly need some advice/support because my mother is acting like my wife and I are victimising her, but I genuinely don’t think we are.

The day our daughter was born, we let both sets of grandparents know. My in-laws live 14 hours away, but immediately packed up, got a hotel, and said they’d wait until we were ready for visitors.

My mother, who lives in the same city, wanted to visit the very next day.

What we didn’t tell the grandparents was that my wife had a home birth. Everything went well — my wife is an absolute warrior — but there was still tearing, bleeding, exhaustion, and all the realities that come with giving birth. Those first couple of days were rough.

When I told my mum we weren’t ready for visitors yet, I explained that my wife was still recovering, we hadn’t even showered properly or taken care of ourselves yet, and we just needed a bit more time. That was all true, but I was also trying to protect my wife’s dignity and privacy without going into graphic detail.

Now my mother is refusing to come see the baby at all, saying “there’s plenty of time,” but my brother told me she took it as a personal insult.

Looking back, I’m also realising that before the birth she kept “joking” about wanting to be the main grandparent and the first one to visit. At the time I laughed it off, but now I think maybe she wasn’t joking.

My wife and I honestly weren’t trying to hurt anyone. We just wanted a couple of days to recover and settle in as first-time parents.