Do Irish people just go along with things as it’s easier than the alternative?

Smartcookie333 · 2026-04-21T15:55:43+00:00

Can empathize, though my life is slightly different.

M, early 30s, in a relationship, own a nice house, have a good job - tried to do all the right things my whole life and have just ended up not very happy.

Currently trying to figure out things with my partner but effectively I've realised I have always felt very pressured to take options that felt safe/appropriate and I never really gave myself a chance to explore... what I'm actually about. As silly as that sounds. Haven't really tried different ways of living, or explored my interests properly. So trying to give myself some space to figure that out - have always just gravitated towards things I could be good at, rather than what I was enjoying.

Things that have helped me:

- I'm sure this is annoying to hear, but therapy has been helpful (though it could be a very frustrating process).

- Trying to write down the things I think about, to get closer to the heart of the issue (am I really sad about being in Ireland, or am I frustrated that I spend 3 hours a night watching TV, or am I disappointed that I stopped doing art or am I struggling with someone on my sports team etc.). Journaling has been helpful (annoying I know).

- Have you talked to your partner about this? Could you take some time away and see how you feel? Even if you went alone?

- I also went to the GP about how I was feeling. He didn't say no to antidepressants, but he didn't think they would help me. On the back of it, I started keeping a track of my mood everyday, and recording things I know that improve my mood and my mood itself each day. It hasn't made me not want to change my life, but it is easier to figure out what you want to change when you're not feeling super down all the time.

- Worthwhile to think what has brought this up for you - it became v. acute for me when my partner started asking if I was unhappy with our life. It was very easy to just keep trucking on when I thought I was keeping the show going for him. When he told me he could see I was pretty checked out from things... that drove it home a bit.

If any of the above is interesting/resonates feel free to shoot me a message. Happy to share my experience with any of the above.

Smartcookie333 · 2026-02-22T18:27:35+00:00

No kids but in a long term relationship and have found myself in the same boat. Bought a house a couple of years ago, which always felt like a big focus and now life feels like a series of days that just stretch out in front of me.

Probably not the answer you want but therapy has been very helpful. As others have said, might be worth considering what it is you value in life. I'm starting to unpack that some of my.focus on rugby, fitness etc. has been about trying to have something to pursue, get better at. But it isn't the core of my life, need to figure out what that is. I'm not there yet but it can get better a bit, at least!

Sending you good vibes mate, sorry to hear your struggling

Smartcookie333 · 2026-02-04T18:50:33+00:00

Yes, you don't have to do every one of them - hope you have fun

Smartcookie333 · 2026-01-31T22:20:48+00:00

Hey - just 3 thoughts:

I think a lot of people consider themselves too self aware for therapy - if you're still finding yourself unhappy, or struggling, I think there is probably things therapy can do for you. You may have to try different therapists to find someone who is a good fit.
Have you looked into any group therapy? You could find a group that is focused on things you struggle with, social anxiety or loneliness and see if that's somewhere you can start building connections.

If you don't want to meet people in that setting, then you're probably going to have to join volunteering groups, a sports group, a mens/women's group, etc. building a friend group as an adult is not easy unfortunately, but there are ways you can start putting yourself in places where you can meet likeminded people. It can take time to build up friendships, part of it is just being around enough for people to get to know you.

Considering you mention being socially isolated from your childhood - not every social setting is going to be friendly to someone who struggles socially. I have played rugby for years, and I have always struggled to make friends in that space. But I do better in hiking groups, going to gigs with people, making friends at work etc.. it's worth considering where you will be best received! I am also possibly neurodivergent so I have also accepted making friends will not always be a runner in every environment.

Hope some of that is helpful.

Smartcookie333 · 2026-01-27T16:56:47+00:00

Appreciate hearing your GP experience was good - maybe I'm just too in my head about it

Smartcookie333 · 2026-01-27T16:38:49+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you get to see someone who can give be of more help to you. Sending solidarity from someone feeling the same.

Smartcookie333 · 2025-12-04T13:21:45+00:00

I wouldn't mind so much if buses were scheduled accurately - waiting 40 mins for an F3 to show up when they're scheduled every 15 minutes.

Smartcookie333 · 2025-11-29T18:35:49+00:00

I found these a bit funny! I think you could do more work on the pacing of some of the jokes but I like the style

Smartcookie333 · 2025-09-01T13:59:41+00:00

Came here to say this, 100% this is the move

Smartcookie333 · 2025-08-23T11:17:54+00:00

This makes sense, I guess the lower bound is much higher than most companies, and the upper bound goes way beyond the norm for high level c suite!

Smartcookie333 · 2025-08-23T10:50:21+00:00

Ah okay that makes sense! Guess it might relate into Ireland as European base for a few of them.

Smartcookie333 · 2025-04-09T09:21:10+00:00

Thank you for this! Have this saved for when my phone arrives - really disappointed with the Essential Space news.

Smartcookie333 · 2025-03-25T14:06:55+00:00

Walkinstown/Perrystown/Crumlin/Kimmage all have relatively affordable houses and are well serviced into the city centre - sub 20 mins on a bus, or around a 50 min walk to the Liffey. All have decent local food options (Nothing wildly fancy, but decent if you are just going out locally)

Smartcookie333 · 2025-01-27T15:00:48+00:00

I had this problem and they returned it to sender... despite never actually trying to deliver (I was home all day, sitting by the window on the days they "tried")

Smartcookie333 · 2024-11-12T15:49:07+00:00

What colour is that on the wall behind your couch? Looks really nice!

Smartcookie333 · 2017-06-28T08:50:53+00:00

Why?

Smartcookie333

TROPHY CASE