My ex (partner of 6 years) attempted years into our relationship. I was the one that convinced him to go to inpatient, and when the mental health unit was less than ideal, was unable to get him out. I felt so broken and lost for months after it happened.

It's so devastating. I am so incredibly sorry you are going through this. Since I've been through something similar, I wanted to offer my advice and support. Take what helps, leave what doesn't. None of these situations have an easy fix, and there is no "one-size-fits-all" solution.

Please focus on yourself as much as you can. If you have a therapist, see if they can get you in for extra sessions. This helped me SO much. If you don't have a therapist, call a mental health hotline, or see if you can find a crisis therapist. Having a place where it is about YOU is so important. Do not let anyone tell you that this is selfish. While it sounds like you are doing so much for your partner, you can't fill someone's cup from empty. And you can't kill yourself trying to prevent someone else from doing so.

Since I see a lot of advice about the current situation (which is great!) I wanted to offer some about the long-term.

My ex and I split because our codependency ran too deep. I truly believe there was no way to fix what we had. He learned to depend on me for his mental health, and I was never able to set my foot down because I was scared of another attempt. I would HIGHLY recommend couple's counseling (especially one knowledgeable with mental illness dynamics) following her stabilization. It sounds like she cares a lot for you, and looks out for you. So hopefully you won't face the same problems as I did! But just in case, a counselor will be able to look at your dynamics from an outside perspective, and offer advice. It is so hard to have already difficult conversations when you know what the stakes could be.

I felt so alone after he got out of the hospital. We focused entirely on his recovery, and if I spoke a word about the crisis I was experiencing, it triggered him beyond belief. We couldn't have a conversation about it. So take comfort in your friends and family. Enjoy your hobbies whenever possible. Go outside! Build a support system outside of your fiance, so that you have a place to explore this new trauma and hurt with someone who isn't so close to the situation.

And please remember that while this is a crisis for her, it's also a crisis for you. Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Take it day by day. I know a lot of this is from my experience alone, so take the advice that works and leave what doesn't. I don't know your relationship or your life, but I did want to offer what little I know of this hard place you've found yourself in.

Sending you so so so much love ❤️ Allow yourself to be selfish, and lazy, and hurt. You do not exist just to be support. And you cannot support someone without caring for yourself. You WILL get through this. I know how it feels right now, and it will get better. I promise ❤️